The Student Room Group

Pinning all your hopes on Uni

I considered posting this in the Uni forum but thought it was more health related than Uni.

Simply question: do you think it is unhealthy to pin all your hopes on everything being okay when you go to Uni? Has anyone done this and everything's gone wrong, or vice versa?

My background (do excuse the lack of detail, this being the internet and all). I have had depression for quite a few years, a cycle which started for I would say understandable reasons (bullying, lack of family support etc), then carried on when my friends gradually started abandoning me (I onyl have 2 or 3 I can honestly say will always be there for me when I need them), and now it is more a case of I have been depressed for so long it is more a medical condition than having something to be depressed about.

I am hoping Uni will give me a kick up the backside and give me something to live for. My course should give me a purpose, and while I do not believe everyone will be perfect, I hope to meet at least a few people who will be good, honest and caring friends. A partner would be nice (all my home 'friends'; about 20 of them; having partners and me being practically the only single one going out, so it doesn't help), but feeling motivated about life and having some really good friends is most important to me.

Anyone else feel the same? Or have any comments on the mental health implications?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
well, i cant really say anything about mental health, but i know that im a lot happier at uni than before.

i love my life :biggrin:
Reply 2
I kind of feel the same. Mostly because I've known for about the last year that I wasn't going to find a girlfriend at school, and so have just been waiting for a fresh start at uni to hopefully meet someone. If uni ends up the same as school has, I'll be pretty pissed off, but hopefully it won't.
Reply 3
I pinned all my hopes on getting into uni, I had to go, and I didn't have an insurance either, and only wanted to go to one uni, so I was pretty screwed if I messed up. I missed my offer but still got in, thankfully. I've met some really great people at uni, hopefully you will too:smile: .


(sorry that was totally useless:redface: :rolleyes: )
Some people do get really down at uni being away from friends others get a high you will just have to see, dont put all your hopes on it tho.
Reply 5
I dont think its a good idea to think that it'll all be fine once you get there. Its really hard and it may not be all that you were expecting it to be.
Reply 6
wiggles
I kind of feel the same. Mostly because I've known for about the last year that I wasn't going to find a girlfriend at school, and so have just been waiting for a fresh start at uni to hopefully meet someone. If uni ends up the same as school has, I'll be pretty pissed off, but hopefully it won't.


same boat
Reply 7
Tractor-girlie
Some people do get really down at uni being away from friends others get a high you will just have to see, dont put all your hopes on it tho.

I understand, but my situation is slightly different: I don't have many friends to be away from. :biggrin: I have one really cool friend who I trust loads, but then is only a 15 minute train ride away (not that I plan on visiting her loads, she has her own life!).
Reply 8
From what you've written you sound quite a lot like me. The way I'm looking at it is that uni may not be a better way of life but it'll be a different one, so it'll be what you make it. Then you can't be disappointed
Reply 9
frost105
I dont think its a good idea to think that it'll all be fine once you get there. Its really hard and it may not be all that you were expecting it to be.

Yeah I know, which is what kind of worries me about how I am thinking at the moment. That said, I know it will be hard at first....I'm hoping that maybe by February though I will be happy again.
i am probably relying on uni to iron out my defaults if that makes sense.
Reply 11
KingKev
same boat


Glad someone feels the same as me. It's just you go to school with people for 7 years.... they either become your friends, your enemies, or people you just don't talk to. It's near enough impossible to find someone you like and strike up a conversation with them and start a fresh relationship, when all the people around you have known you since you were 11, and all have their own cliques that they obviously won't bother to break out of in the last year.
i'm relying on the second year of uni to find a decent bloke-all the ones ive met at home are idiots :rolleyes: ..altho, thinking about it, i didnt meet any relationship material ones in first year...uh oh. life of singledom for moi :frown:
Reply 13
Uni = A fresh start. Everyone is in the same boat as you buddy, all of us pin our hopes on uni or a new job etc...:smile:
Reply 14
I wasn't sure what I wanted to get out of this thread but I think I have found the question. I know everyone pins their hopes on new starts, but:

For the month that remains, should I be telling myself in my mind Uni will make everything alright, and will this help my depression? Or should I be telling myself not to expect much as this could make me worse if I expect the world?
it will be cool...just don't be so morbidly self obsessed and let the good times roll.
Reply 16
I can't wait to get away. I'm so distant from most of my "friends" so I won't be missing them. Also I know a couple of people at the uni i'm going to already so it should be good to see them more & meet new people.
Hey Alex, i'd go for the latter. I always expect the worse so if it does happen, i'm prepared, and if not - it's a lot better :smile: As you know i've had a crap year, but you’re on a course you’re really excited about and you’re in hall that you wanted to be in! (You also know us lot!) Those enough should give you a positive outlook, so even though a bit contradicting to what I first said, keep the positive in your mind – that way you will have a positive time! But just don’t ‘pin’ everything on Uni being great!....

If that makes any sense at all!!

-x-
Reply 18
Well if you're anything like me you'll go to uni, not get a great grade, be a social outcast and die alone. It's not the answer to all your problems, I guess it depends what you make of it. Hope it all works out for you.
Reply 19
Don't pin all your hopes on Uni, seriously.

It may or may not help. It isn't a wonderland, i'll tell ya that.

I've met some full on benders at Uni and some nice people.

The problem with spitefull intelligent people is that they are even better at being nasty.

That said, go with a chilled attitude and you'll be fine.