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    Hi all. I'm new here and I don't really know how to put what I have to say in to words without babbling.

    I dont know if the things I have been put through constitute as 'abuse' but I didn't know where to put this topic, so I apologise if it's in the wrong section.

    I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and I feel like I've become more isolated. Last night he twisted my arm so viciously just because I picked up his phone. I can't talk to anyone because no one wants to listen. He's never actually hit me but he has bruised me, pinched me, dragged and pushed me with the intention of hurting me.

    He doesn't want me to get good grades in my education so that I can work full time, he never shows any emotion apart from when he's 'sorry' after emotionally or physically attacking me. He wastes any money he has on alcohol. If I do something he doesn't like he gets this crazy look in his eyes that scare the crap out of me.

    He never wants to have sex with me anymore even thought it used to be different... I do a lot for him but I don't know anymore

    sorry for the long post
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    Hi
    thanks for your message, you are certainly in the right section. What you're describing is very abusive. It is never ok to physically hurt someone. It doesn't matter if he has not hit you - any form of physical violence is abuse. It also sounds like he is controlling and very scary to be around.

    You have been with him for quite a while - how do you feel about being in the relationship. I think you need to decide if you want to stay with him (in which case we need to help you stay safe) or if you want to leave him (if you choose this option there are ways to do this safely also). I can't tell you what to do but I will say that I am very concerned about you being with him. No-one deserves to be abused in a relationship and I promise most people will not be like this.

    I am sorry to hear that you feel no-one will listen to you. Even if you don't feel you can talk to family or friends there are lots of people who will be able to help and support you.

    There are some great websites and helplines listed here:

    http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help

    And this site gives advice on staying safe while you are in the relationship and if you leave:

    http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/

    If you do decide to leave the relationship, it is best not to be on your own while you tell him, or tell him over the phone. You may then need to change your number/online accounts etc and plan for what you will do if he contacts you or if you see him when you are out. If you can tell people around you what has been happening that would help alot but if not, you can always ring the police if you are scared.
    This is the freephone 24 hour domestic violence helpline number - 0808 2000 247 if you want to talk to anyone at anytime. They can also tell you about local support in your area.

    I hope this helps, come back at any time if you want to talk more,
    take care
    Jo
 
 
 
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