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Girl I like in a bad relationshiip Watch

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    Hi

    So as the title states I'm in a bit of a predicament. I've been texting this girl for about 6 months now. For about two months of them I didn't know she had a boyfriend and we spoke quite intimately (sexting and phone sex) I then fine out she has a boyfriend, she lied to me saying she was single for months. She said her reasons for doing so is because her boyfriend didnt make her feel liked and I did and she liked that. We almost met a few times.

    We then decide to be friends but it doesn't work, we end up being more, this happens a few times and she says she prefers me to her boyfriend but "it's hard because she's been in a relationship with him for 5 years"

    She's perseistently lied to me about things to make me dislike her in an attempt to make me go off her but I don't, I'm always thinking about her and love talking to her and want to meet her despite all this but a part of me wants to get out of there because of what she's done.

    She says now she only likes me as a friend but my gut tells me that's not the case and she says "she doesn't know until we meet".

    She's sent me pics that she shouldn't of and blames me for their relationship being a mess. Is it my place to tell him all that's happened and what the hell do I do because I like her more than I should.
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    1 - If you want to end up with her and if there is a chance of that happening (it sounds no one really knows), make her choose. It isn't fair on either you or her bf for her to be acting like this.

    2 - You need to really think about if she is worth it, and how she may act if you both do end up together. Who's to say she won't end up talking to a guy behind your back like she currently is doing with her bf?

    3 - It takes two to tango. She is the one in the relationship, she shouldn't be acting like she has been. Enough said really.
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    Ses cheating on her partner and you're involved. You should stop immediately unless she breaks up with him. I wouldn't date this girl at all. Any problems within a relationship should be discussed with your partner, not some random stranger you meet and develop a bond with.
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    So I think I have just totally messed things up with her. I told her boyfriend about the messages and pictures and he said he didn't care. Now I really don't know what to do
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I think I have just totally messed things up with her. I told her boyfriend about the messages and pictures and he said he didn't care. Now I really don't know what to do
    In what universe did this seem like a good idea?

    That aside, everything you've said about this girl so far sounds like a red flag. I'd leave it if I were you.
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    (Original post by Another)
    In what universe did this seem like a good idea?

    That aside, everything you've said about this girl so far sounds like a red flag. I'd leave it if I were you.
    I don't know really, jealous I guess. And I know yeah I don't know what keeps dragging me back :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know really, jealous I guess. And I know yeah I don't know what keeps dragging me back :/
    It's just how it is with some people, they stick to you like glue whether it's a good idea/you want them to or not. I understand your frustration with it all and that you still want to be with her but I agree, it's probably in your best interest to let go. It's hard, but you need to apply will power and block all forms of contact with her.
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    She has treated you like a 'thing on the side'. I'm really sorry about it and I know it's easier said than done but you need to lose contact with you, she is using you and now that you told her boyfriend and that has backfired, I really think it will be in your best interest to ignore her and him. If you could delete her facebook, number, whatever then that would be the first step in doing so but if it is too hard then can I suggest you just keep yourself busy. You could do this by taking up a hobby, hanging around with friends, working, anything so that it takes your mind off of her and the whole situation. You could also take a piece of paper and write down all your thoughts and feelings about the situation and once you're finished burn it and from then on promise yourself not to look back again. I hope things turn out better in the future.
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    (Original post by Wonderer1)
    She has treated you like a 'thing on the side'. I'm really sorry about it and I know it's easier said than done but you need to lose contact with you, she is using you and now that you told her boyfriend and that has backfired, I really think it will be in your best interest to ignore her and him. If you could delete her facebook, number, whatever then that would be the first step in doing so but if it is too hard then can I suggest you just keep yourself busy. You could do this by taking up a hobby, hanging around with friends, working, anything so that it takes your mind off of her and the whole situation. You could also take a piece of paper and write down all your thoughts and feelings about the situation and once you're finished burn it and from then on promise yourself not to look back again. I hope things turn out better in the future.
    That's part of my problem, I'm sat at home doing nothing waiting to go to uni only working a few days a week. I'm bored and lonely and she might have changed that. Now I feel even worse because I think I've messed everything up :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's part of my problem, I'm sat at home doing nothing waiting to go to uni only working a few days a week. I'm bored and lonely and she might have changed that. Now I feel even worse because I think I've messed everything up :/
    Don't you have anyone you could talk to, like some friends? Anyone you can call on to just go out for a bit, that might help you. To be honest, I don't think you could mess something up that was messed up from the start, no offence but what she did to you was out of order and mucked up. :L
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    (Original post by Wonderer1)
    Don't you have anyone you could talk to, like some friends? Anyone you can call on to just go out for a bit, that might help you. To be honest, I don't think you could mess something up that was messed up from the start, no offence but what she did to you was out of order and mucked up. :L
    Tbh I haven't told any of my friends about her as I haven't met her yet. Now I have her boyfriend texting and ringing me, wish I kept my mouth shut,
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tbh I haven't told any of my friends about her as I haven't met her yet. Now I have her boyfriend texting and ringing me, wish I kept my mouth shut,
    What the hell is he texting you and ringing you for. Tell him to suck it up, his girlfriend's a cheat and if he doesn't believe you then so be it. Sure, it may not have been a good idea to tell him in the first place because I wouldn't think he'd believe a complete stranger but what's done is done, block his number. It is obvious that he lied when he said he doesn't care. Sometimes, silence is the best way to deal with situations as silence hurts more than having an argument. Don't feed into it.
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    (Original post by Wonderer1)
    What the hell is he texting you and ringing you for. Tell him to suck it up, his girlfriend's a cheat and if he doesn't believe you then so be it. Sure, it may not have been a good idea to tell him in the first place because I wouldn't think he'd believe a complete stranger but what's done is done, block his number. It is obvious that he lied when he said he doesn't care. Sometimes, silence is the best way to deal with situations as silence hurts more than having an argument. Don't feed into it.
    Doing my best to keep my mouth shut, he's going on about how they tell eachother everything and that he knows everything we did which is far from the truth. I've said to her I want to speak to her when she's alone. This sucks :/.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Doing my best to keep my mouth shut, he's going on about how they tell eachother everything and that he knows everything we did which is far from the truth. I've said to her I want to speak to her when she's alone. This sucks :/.
    Well, he is obviously insecure now if he is going on about how they tell eachother everything etc, why does he feel the need to validate his relationship with her to you? Every thought about that? You've definitely done some damage to the relationship and whether you think it is a good thing or bad thing it is down to you but half of me thinks she deserves it. To be honest, you're also prolonging the issue by wanting to speak to her when she is alone but I can't tell you what to do, I can only hope things get better for you in the future.
 
 
 
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