I'm just fed up. I'll start at the beginning (long, depressing ramble incoming):
In February I was diagnosed with moderate/severe GAD and depression. I was put on sertraline, then had it upped from 50mg to 100mg some months later. It worked for a while - I felt much much happier, less anxious and free from negativity. Then it wore off by about May (which is when my dosage was upped).
I'd had up and downs on the tablets, but around May, everything felt a lot more down - I became upset easily over little things and started to feel the depression coming back. What's worse, my motivation dropped to an all time low, made worse by the fact I failed my Maths module despite trying really really hard to revise it and understanding it (it also makes me not want to work over the summer).
So I continued on my dose of 100mg until earlier this month, when I went to my GP and told her my depression was coming back. It was such a shame to see the look on her face, after other visits told her how well I was doing, that I was back to Square -1. I'd been on the referral list for counselling at NTT for almost three months and had to turn down the opportunity due to going home for the summer. My GP told me the tablets were only a temporary solution and now I have no therapy lined up.
As well as that, my friends and family struggle to believe my depression. I have told people I can confide in, but a lot do not know what to say, or compare it to their "down days", thinking it's just a little bit of sadness, probably because some of the time, I can actually hide it all; just bottle it up inside me and continue.
But here's why I write this post: what's the point? I have no idea what counselling is or if it will help me, and my tablets are only temporary. What happens if I'm stuck with depression forever? I just need someone to really understand and give me some advice right now. I feel so worthless and useless, has anybody else ever felt like this?
Stuck in a rut (called life) Watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-07-2014 00:53
- 27-07-2014 06:06
I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. I've been through depression myself and it's such a horrible experience.
It seems strange that your doctor has acknowledged that your medication isn't working yet hasn't suggested trying a different drug. There are a lot of different antidepressants and while one might have "pooped-out" you might be able to try another and have better luck. It would mean getting initial side effects again but might be worth it if you find something that works.
Counseling is basically talking over things that bother you. Counselors are trained to listen not advise so some people don't find them all that helpful but it's probably worth a shot; you've got nothing to lose by trying.
It might be worth talking to your doctor about getting referred for CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy). It basically teaches you to change your depressive thinking patterns to more healthy ones. A lot of people find it more helpful than counseling, especially if their depression has lasted a long time. There's a free online CBT course called Moodgym that you could check out, and there are numerous books on the subject as well - the waiting list is likely to be very long on the NHS so the website or books might help in the meantime.
Hope this helps Any questions just ask.