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There's no one to open up to anymore Watch

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    #1

    I browse through my whatsapp, and find no one I can comfortably speak to. I browse through my contacts and again find no one.

    Time and time again I'm reminded that my 'best friends' aren't actually my friends.

    I keep getting reminded that I'm actually alone - and its sad really =\

    Its not like I DONT have people to talk to, I do - but I still feel like I don't.

    Its not like I can't make friends, I can - but I just feel like there's no point.

    I hate this - It's never been me.. I'm going through such a rough period at the moment and I let no one see that I am. When I lay in bed at night, or look at myself in the mirror.. I just realise how lonely I really am
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    Personally, I would recommend talking to someone who doesn't give a ****

    You sound a bit like me, I have things to talk about but don't because I don't really have that sort of friendships where I talk about emotional things.

    Someone who doesn't really give a **** makes it easier because you know that once its talked about, it isn't going to turn up again unless you want it to

    When I someone, I mean close enough you can talk to and by doesn't give a **** I mean won't judge you and isn't a particularly fussy person
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    (Original post by Jubz1)
    Personally, I would recommend talking to someone who doesn't give a ****

    You sound a bit like me, I have things to talk about but don't because I don't really have that sort of friendships where I talk about emotional things.

    Someone who doesn't really give a **** makes it easier because you know that once its talked about, it isn't going to turn up again unless you want it to

    When I someone, I mean close enough you can talk to and by doesn't give a **** I mean won't judge you and isn't a particularly fussy person
    Perhaps. I gave my everything to a girl once upon a time - and she absolutely wrecked it all. It's left me with nothing, I am over her for sure but I just feel like I have nothing left. Obviously that's a bit far fetched but I genuinely feel empty. I want to have an escape, someone to speak to etc etc but its just so peak at the moment.

    I can easily go and make a friend, maybe even date someone but I don't want that. I want someone who genuinely gives a ****. I want to know that they do.

    I'm complicated as fu** and just feel angry more than I feel sad now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I browse through my whatsapp, and find no one I can comfortably speak to. I browse through my contacts and again find no one.

    Time and time again I'm reminded that my 'best friends' aren't actually my friends.

    I keep getting reminded that I'm actually alone - and its sad really =\

    Its not like I DONT have people to talk to, I do - but I still feel like I don't.

    Its not like I can't make friends, I can - but I just feel like there's no point.

    I hate this - It's never been me.. I'm going through such a rough period at the moment and I let no one see that I am. When I lay in bed at night, or look at myself in the mirror.. I just realise how lonely I really am
    I met my best friends when I was at my lowest point of my life. And they saw the pain I was in. They didn't judge me, they comforted me. I felt I can trust them, because they weren't like the others, so I opened up to them.

    That's what you need to do, you just need to open up to a person you feel you can trust. Someone who is genuine.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I browse through my whatsapp, and find no one I can comfortably speak to. I browse through my contacts and again find no one.

    Time and time again I'm reminded that my 'best friends' aren't actually my friends.

    I keep getting reminded that I'm actually alone - and its sad really =\

    Its not like I DONT have people to talk to, I do - but I still feel like I don't.

    Its not like I can't make friends, I can - but I just feel like there's no point.

    I hate this - It's never been me.. I'm going through such a rough period at the moment and I let no one see that I am. When I lay in bed at night, or look at myself in the mirror.. I just realise how lonely I really am
    I think a lot of people find themselves in your situation some times. It's not uncommon. I went through a phase like it during my first year at uni; it sucked. But A LOT of people go through the same thing. Just keep your head up, to quote the great Ronan Keating, 'Life is a rollercoaster, just got to ride it'. You will feel down at times. You will feel amazing at other times, just remember that what you feel is normal and things always get better
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    #2

    I know exactly what you mean. Lately I've been asking myself who are my friends? Sure I have these so called compadres but they're never there for me when I'm going through something. I often flick through my contacts and think what happened to genuine friendship? All these people I've know come to recognise as acquaintances who at first seemed like they could become really good friends of mine but no, I'm just another name for them to call out when they see me out and about and another number to add to their contact list.


    *Sigh*
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    (Original post by AnharM)
    I met my best friends when I was at my lowest point of my life. And they saw the pain I was in. They didn't judge me, they comforted me. I felt I can trust them, because they weren't like the others, so I opened up to them.

    That's what you need to do, you just need to open up to a person you feel you can trust. Someone who is genuine.
    I want to, I really do. I'm bursting to tell someone something.. everything!!

    I reaaaaaally want to open up to someone but I just feel like I don't have anyone that I can trust to do so.

    Having said that, I'm happy for you
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    If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me! x
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    I think a lot of people find themselves in your situation some times. It's not uncommon. I went through a phase like it during my first year at uni; it sucked. But A LOT of people go through the same thing. Just keep your head up, to quote the great Ronan Keating, 'Life is a rollercoaster, just got to ride it'. You will feel down at times. You will feel amazing at other times, just remember that what you feel is normal and things always get better
    Yes, I've always remained really really strong. I've always said that if someone wants to be a friend of mine then it would be nice, but if not it wouldn't bother me. And the majority of the time, it doesn't. It's at these low points that I really wish someone was here.

    I just don't want to break, I've felt like this for a long time & to be honest I've always been confident that I'll never break but.. how would someone know what it'll take to break them unless it actually happens =\
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know exactly what you mean. Lately I've been asking myself who are my friends? Sure I have these so called compadres but they're never there for me when I'm going through something. I often flick through my contacts and think what happened to genuine friendship? All these people I've know come to recognise as acquaintances who at first seemed like they could become really good friends of mine but no, I'm just another name for them to call out when they see me out and about and another number to add to their contact list.


    *Sigh*
    Sad & irritating right? Just now I had this argument with a "best friend", I'm sure it was a minor for him but to me it was deeper than just a disagreement over football. It really angered and upset me - not the convo about football but the deeper issues. The ones where I think no one really understands me. The nature of the argument made me realise this. So I come home, sit on my bed.. open my phone and go through my contacts REAALLY wanting to talk to someone and nothing.

    So I just locked my phone and lay there, empty
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    (Original post by Reluctant Economist)
    If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me! x
    Thank you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you
    No worries. Feel better. xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, I've always remained really really strong. I've always said that if someone wants to be a friend of mine then it would be nice, but if not it wouldn't bother me. And the majority of the time, it doesn't. It's at these low points that I really wish someone was here.

    I just don't want to break, I've felt like this for a long time & to be honest I've always been confident that I'll never break but.. how would someone know what it'll take to break them unless it actually happens =\
    Maybe part of the problem is that you haven't broken? My break I mean that emotionally you hit rock bottom. Then when you're at that point you can work on building yourself back up and use the negative things that you've experienced to become better rounded (I don't mean that as an insult, just that you wouldn't feel the way that you're feeling now.)

    I had a patch for about six months where I was gradually getting worse and worse to the point where I'd lock myself in my room because I didn't want to see anyone. My life was such a mess, my relationships suffered, I was angry and distant and I hated the person I was. So I went to see a counsellor who I could talk to and I remember during the first session I just completely broke down. I was crying hysterically and it was just a massive release of emotion. I'm a 6'4", muscular guy, so I felt incredibly weak doing it but at the same time, I felt so much better. I stayed with that counsellor for three months and saw him once a week and gradually he helped build me back up and develop. Now I see things in a whole new perspective; I'm still the same person I was but I deal with things in a completely different way.

    I'd really recommend going to see someone like that. There may be a stigma that surrounds that sort of thing but I guarantee you that it will help.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sad & irritating right? Just now I had this argument with a "best friend", I'm sure it was a minor for him but to me it was deeper than just a disagreement over football. It really angered and upset me - not the convo about football but the deeper issues. The ones where I think no one really understands me. The nature of the argument made me realise this. So I come home, sit on my bed.. open my phone and go through my contacts REAALLY wanting to talk to someone and nothing.

    So I just locked my phone and lay there, empty
    I know what you mean, there's nothing worse than a so-called 'friend' not understanding how you feel especially when you're expressing your emotions and views and they just brush it aside.

    I'm actually in a similar predicament. I've just finished my first year at university where I met a girl who I thought was my best friend for life (I am also female in case you were wondering) yet, outside of the campus life she doesn't make any effort to contact me. I'm always calling her - she screens my calls - I text her , she replies in an unfriendly manner and yet she's all over me during term time. I often feel like I'm just a blanket for her! I put far too much faith into the people I befriend such that when they betray my trust or upset me it really affects me. I've tried so hard to tell her how I feel and yet she just doesn't understand! I fell out with my friends from secondary school and rarely speak to the ones that I didn't fall out with. So I'm often lonely and yearning for social contact.

    Oh well, hopefully things will pick up for us.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    Maybe part of the problem is that you haven't broken? My break I mean that emotionally you hit rock bottom. Then when you're at that point you can work on building yourself back up and use the negative things that you've experienced to become better rounded (I don't mean that as an insult, just that you wouldn't feel the way that you're feeling now.)

    I had a patch for about six months where I was gradually getting worse and worse to the point where I'd lock myself in my room because I didn't want to see anyone. My life was such a mess, my relationships suffered, I was angry and distant and I hated the person I was. So I went to see a counsellor who I could talk to and I remember during the first session I just completely broke down. I was crying hysterically and it was just a massive release of emotion. I'm a 6'4", muscular guy, so I felt incredibly weak doing it but at the same time, I felt so much better. I stayed with that counsellor for three months and saw him once a week and gradually he helped build me back up and develop. Now I see things in a whole new perspective; I'm still the same person I was but I deal with things in a completely different way.

    I'd really recommend going to see someone like that. There may be a stigma that surrounds that sort of thing but I guarantee you that it will help.
    Yup, I understand what you mean. Sometimes you need to completely break so you can rebuild yourself into a stronger and better person.

    Ah I'm glad it worked out for you

    As ironic as it sounds, I actually am a professional coach (the type who speaks to people and helps them come to a solution to their problem without telling them how to or without doing it for them, pretty similar to counselling). I often see the changes that I bring to these people's lives, for I just can't do the same for me. I know I need someone to be there to speak to but I.. I don't know, I wouldn't go to a councillor - I know me, I just wouldn't. I would just love to sit down with someone and speak to them for hours and hours.. but that is pretty much getting a counsellor isn't it haha.

    I usually have moments like these that I know will go away when I wake up tomorrow - because itll be a new day and ill have my ultimate goal to work towards.

    But these moments just make me feel like complete ****
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you mean, there's nothing worse than a so-called 'friend' not understanding how you feel especially when you're expressing your emotions and views and they just brush it aside.

    I'm actually in a similar predicament. I've just finished my first year at university where I met a girl who I thought was my best friend for life (I am also female in case you were wondering) yet, outside of the campus life she doesn't make any effort to contact me. I'm always calling her - she screens my calls - I text her , she replies in an unfriendly manner and yet she's all over me during term time. I often feel like I'm just a blanket for her! I put far too much faith into the people I befriend such that when they betray my trust or upset me it really affects me. I've tried so hard to tell her how I feel and yet she just doesn't understand! I fell out with my friends from secondary school and rarely speak to the ones that I didn't fall out with. So I'm often lonely and yearning for social contact.

    Oh well, hopefully things will pick up for us.
    Yes I feel exactly what you're going through. I have a similar "friend", who only ever contacts me if he needs something. I know we're all men out here and we got that thing about not being too emotional and bla bla bla, but he's never actually messaged me for a chat? I've said this to him before, and did so in an angry manner but it didn't really have an effect because.. a few years later its the same old. There was this extremely rough patch in my life where I had absolutely no one. Then I started speaking to this guy again one day I was walking with him and I just realised how much I missed walking with someone.. weird right?

    I would just love to sit with someone in a coffee chop, Nordic Café to be precise - and have a warm mocha with them, share a cinnamon bun & just spend hours and hours speaking to them. I would absolutely love that. It's a weird fantasy, sometimes I actually even go to cafes hoping it would happen with a stranger! Wouldn't it be nice to meet your future other half that way haha - but then I just do my thing and leave.

    Weird this is, and only if someone actually goes through it would they really understand.

    Generally a nights sleep gets rid of it, but its just that when this feeling comes it feels sooooooo damn excruciating
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes I feel exactly what you're going through. I have a similar "friend", who only ever contacts me if he needs something. I know we're all men out here and we got that thing about not being too emotional and bla bla bla, but he's never actually messaged me for a chat? I've said this to him before, and did so in an angry manner but it didn't really have an effect because.. a few years later its the same old. There was this extremely rough patch in my life where I had absolutely no one. Then I started speaking to this guy again one day I was walking with him and I just realised how much I missed walking with someone.. weird right?

    I would just love to sit with someone in a coffee chop, Nordic Café to be precise - and have a warm mocha with them, share a cinnamon bun & just spend hours and hours speaking to them. I would absolutely love that. It's a weird fantasy, sometimes I actually even go to cafes hoping it would happen with a stranger! Wouldn't it be nice to meet your future other half that way haha - but then I just do my thing and leave.

    Weird this is, and only if someone actually goes through it would they really understand.

    Generally a nights sleep gets rid of it, but its just that when this feeling comes it feels sooooooo damn excruciating
    It's a shame really, because I know I'm getting used but still I enjoy the comfort that person brings when they need me. It's not weird at all! When you're around somebody who neglected you but you loved their company nonetheless it feels amazing. But don't you fear that you may just become a doormat for the rest of your life? Because I do. I allow people to use my kind nature to their advantage but I just can't help it because of the trust and good faith I have in the people I befriend.

    Ah yes, deep conversations over a cup of coffee and cake are the best! There's nothing like opening up to another individual and exchanging intimate and private thoughts and feelings. Don't despair, you sound like a very nice person and hopefully you will get the friendship that you deserve.

    I often feel like I'm the only one in this situation because I know other people have a secure circle of friends. I get so emotional about it and more so because it's Summer and I have nothing to do! But I suppose this is a time for me to grow more independent..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's a shame really, because I know I'm getting used but still I enjoy the comfort that person brings when they need me. It's not weird at all! When you're around somebody who neglected you but you loved their company nonetheless it feels amazing. But don't you fear that you may just become a doormat for the rest of your life? Because I do. I allow people to use my kind nature to their advantage but I just can't help it because of the trust and good faith I have in the people I befriend.

    Ah yes, deep conversations over a cup of coffee and cake are the best! There's nothing like opening up to another individual and exchanging intimate and private thoughts and feelings. Don't despair, you sound like a very nice person and hopefully you will get the friendship that you deserve.

    I often feel like I'm the only one in this situation because I know other people have a secure circle of friends. I get so emotional about it and more so because it's Summer and I have nothing to do! But I suppose this is a time for me to grow more independent..
    No, you arnt the only one - I feel like you do too. If all goes to plan, I'll move out for my next degree (im 21) and then i'll be away from everyone. All my friends, my family, everyone I knew etc & ill just be able to start off my life from fresh. I'll really be able to rediscover who I am and come back as a stronger person. I tried explaining this to a friend of mine but he didn't even care =\

    I don't understand why this is? I know I'm a really good and interesting person.. maybe ive just been unlucky with friends?

    Why are you anonymous? I would PM you haha
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, you arnt the only one - I feel like you do too. If all goes to plan, I'll move out for my next degree (im 21) and then i'll be away from everyone. All my friends, my family, everyone I knew etc & ill just be able to start off my life from fresh. I'll really be able to rediscover who I am and come back as a stronger person. I tried explaining this to a friend of mine but he didn't even care =\

    I don't understand why this is? I know I'm a really good and interesting person.. maybe ive just been unlucky with friends?

    Why are you anonymous? I would PM you haha
    That sounds like a good plan, I often feel as though I've lost perspective on who I am during times like this so takin time to build on yourself as a sole individual is important.

    Yeah probably, that's what I like to think too but then again how unlucky can one get? Out of all the poor friendships I've pursued not one of them could have worked out better? That just sucks...

    I'm anonymous because I'm pouring my heart out and I feel a bit pathetic for unloading on a student forum like this; (I rarely get to express my emotions to another individual who isn't my Mother so I get a bit self-conscious when I do) Sorry!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That sounds like a good plan, I often feel as though I've lost perspective on who I am during times like this so takin time to build on yourself as a sole individual is important.

    Yeah probably, that's what I like to think too but then again how unlucky can one get? Out of all the poor friendships I've pursued not one of them could have worked out better? That just sucks...

    I'm anonymous because I'm pouring my heart out and I feel a bit pathetic for unloading on a student forum like this; (I rarely get to express my emotions to another individual who isn't my Mother so I get a bit self-conscious when I do) Sorry!
    I know right? See if I was to say that to someone else they'd think I'm chatting a load of crap to them. I honestly do feel like out of every single friendship, non of them have worked out.

    It's not even as though I have high expectations.. I just require simplicity. Just the simple things in a relationship - no judgement, allowing the other person to speak and to actually care, ask how they are, not only speak to them when something's needed.. but I feel like that's too much to ask for.

    I don't fit in with society, I can't do all of this fbk, twitter, insta, and whatever else there is out there. I cant be fake with people, and speak to people who I don't want to speak to. I just want and need simplicity and that seems like too much to ask for =\

    And that's ok
 
 
 
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