Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Lost interest in crush after hearing about their sexual past? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I had a crush on this girl for a while now and to me when we talked it was all quite innocent with occasional flirting and we got on quite well and I could feel she likes me too.

    However after hearing from another guy who she is quite close too but purely friends (he's gay) about her sexual past with her ex of 3 years (it was really in depth too)....I suddenly lost interest in her and kind of feel disgusted by her.

    I know I should accept the fact that they have had sex in those 3 years, In fact it would be weird if they didn't but when it was actually said by another person it was totally different.

    My emotions went from feeling angry to sad to losing interest in her in a span of 2 days.

    Has anyone felt the same after hearing similar things?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    What do you feel disgusted about?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by kka25)
    What do you feel disgusted about?
    Sorry maybe disgusted was the wrong term to use. What I mean is the huge contrast between this girl who was quite angelic and pure to me and the reality of her relationship with her ex which was absolutely normal.

    It didn't help that this male friend that told me by his own accord out of nowhere was rather graphic as well....

    Its just the case of I would really rather not hear what she did in the past...
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry maybe disgusted was the wrong term to use. What I mean is the huge contrast between this girl who was quite angelic and pure to me and the reality of her relationship with her ex which was absolutely normal.

    It didn't help that this male friend that told me by his own accord out of nowhere was rather graphic as well....

    Its just the case of I would really rather not hear what she did in the past...
    I think I can understand where you're coming from. I think the mystery or thrill of the relationship is lost (no thanks to that guy).
    It is not really about knowing her sexual past or anything; I think you won't be bothered at all knowing this if you're in a relationship with her in the first place.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    As you said, 'it was totally different' when you heard it from someone else and that makes sense.

    You have/had a crush on this person and you'll have probably built an idea of who she is (or who you'd like her to be/what the two of you would be like together) and you may not have wanted to think of her having sex with someone else etc and that 'image' that you had of her has changed and there's nothing you can do about that.

    I wouldn't feel bad about 'losing interest' - it's not your fault (or hers to be fair) that this has affected you like this. If you are feeling bad, I'm sure there were other things about her that you liked so try focusing on those if you want?

    Hope this helps
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry maybe disgusted was the wrong term to use. What I mean is the huge contrast between this girl who was quite angelic and pure to me and the reality of her relationship with her ex which was absolutely normal.

    It didn't help that this male friend that told me by his own accord out of nowhere was rather graphic as well....

    Its just the case of I would really rather not hear what she did in the past...
    Having sex whilst in a committed relationship that lasted 3 years is hardly a bad thing, at least she hasn't been sleeping around for 3 years.

    You just have to accept that most people you meet will have a sexual past, especially as you get older. I used to freak out about people's pasts but realised it just wasn't something worth worrying about. Her past has made her who she is today, without it she may be a totally different person.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah. Finding out someone has had sex with A LOT of people AFTER falling for them is pretty rubbish because it's harder to just go off them
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Ease up mate. Successful people have sex lives and girls aren't sugar and spice and all things nice, just waiting for you to turn up. Probably more your loss than hers if you lose interest.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    No one likes to hear about a partner, or potential partner with someone else - that's probably why societally relationships tend to be exclusive. Don't worry, you're not a weirdo or anything. Give it time, the image will probably fade and you'll get over it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zarek)
    Ease up mate. Successful people have sex lives and girls aren't sugar and spice and all things nice, just waiting for you to turn up. Probably more your loss than hers if you lose interest.
    What do you mean more OPs lost than hers?

    Personally for me it is much easier for guys to get girls than vice versa so yea

    Op should just follow your thoughts, it is not your fault you are feeling these, blame the chemicals



    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 27, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.