be in love and not know it?

My mum has just told me she that she thinks I am in love with a guy who is a close friend to me. The idea has taken me by surprise because it had never occurred to me before now that I could feel anything but like for him.

He went away last week on holiday and he's not going to be back for a few weeks. Since he left I've found myself annoyed by every little thing and crying at random moments. I don't know why I've suddenly become so short-tempered and upset. I wouldn't blame hormones before anyone makes that suggestion.

So like the title says, can you be in love and not realise it? How can you tell if it is love and not just infatuation? I don't know what to do. The idea of being in love with him terrifies me because I go to uni soon and he's going to a university at the other end of the country and I didn't want to let myself get attached to anyone and make the first few months hard because they won't be there.

Reply 1

wainwright

Woooaahhhhh..... no one can ever know how you feel except you, so dont take any notice of what your mum says!

I thought I couldnt be in love with my first boyfriend cos I had nothing to compare it to. wrong! the truth is, one day you wake up and if you love them you just know it with more certainty than you have ever known anything. if you have to ask if you love them it (probably) means you dont.

Reply 2

so_this_is_sam

3

Seriously, i think everyone is having the same problems right now. i keep finding problems that in one way or another relate to my life as well. Yeah i think you can be in love and not know it, i think also that when you know you're going to be apart from someone close to you, you can think you're in love when you're actually not. Speaking from experience I would not risk telling this guy you might love him BECAUSE you might start seeing him and then realise you were wrong and better off as friends....Hun, i know you're probably thinkin but i cannot be away from him, but i think that the nerves of going away and all that can sometimes mess with our heads and make us feel things we havent felt before. Stay friends, go to uni and have the time of your life. If after uni, u meet this guy again and really do LOVE him then get married and have his kids! haha xxxxx

Reply 3

User69701

10

You are the only one who will know that. It is possible to not know it for a while. Sometime you will realise though

Reply 4

Anthonyjm71

9

so_this_is_sam

Seriously, i think everyone is having the same problems right now. i keep finding problems that in one way or another relate to my life as well. Yeah i think you can be in love and not know it, i think also that when you know you're going to be apart from someone close to you, you can think you're in love when you're actually not. Speaking from experience I would not risk telling this guy you might love him BECAUSE you might start seeing him and then realise you were wrong and better off as friends....Hun, i know you're probably thinkin but i cannot be away from him, but i think that the nerves of going away and all that can sometimes mess with our heads and make us feel things we havent felt before. Stay friends, go to uni and have the time of your life. If after uni, u meet this guy again and really do LOVE him then get married and have his kids! haha xxxxx

yes you're so right. :p:

Reply 5

bunthulhu

14

Anonymous

My mum has just told me she that she thinks I am in love with a guy who is a close friend to me. The idea has taken me by surprise because it had never occurred to me before now that I could feel anything but like for him.

He went away last week on holiday and he's not going to be back for a few weeks. Since he left I've found myself annoyed by every little thing and crying at random moments. I don't know why I've suddenly become so short-tempered and upset. I wouldn't blame hormones before anyone makes that suggestion.

So like the title says, can you be in love and not realise it? How can you tell if it is love and not just infatuation? I don't know what to do. The idea of being in love with him terrifies me because I go to uni soon and he's going to a university at the other end of the country and I didn't want to let myself get attached to anyone and make the first few months hard because they won't be there.

I don't think it's possible to be in love and not know it. I also don't think being stroppy is a sign of being in love anyway :confused:

You might have feelings for him but that is no way the same as being in love. :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Have the same thing but I am actually spending the rest of my life with the guy- gap year and uni together!
Everyone tells me I like him like that and like I really care about him, I miss him when he is away and yes sometimes I feel I do want to "kiss" him but he is such a good friend and I don't want to harm that!
Mine's more complicated though because this other guy now likes me and I'm just confused because I don't know who I do like in that way and how to tell- only "we" know though, I guess it is just a feeling one day one will find out!
The worst thing in my story is when my good friend talks about the guy who likes me and it just makes me doubly cringe and the other day I lied to the guy who likes me to where I was because subconciously I probably wanted him to be jealous!!

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

I know I'm in love, but I also find myself crying at night because I miss the girl that I love, who lives on another continent!! Too far away to see, and I don't have the money to phone, so we have to cope with MSN :frown:

Oh, and anonymous #2, the girl I love is also one of my best friends, but I took the plunge (when drunk as us guys do so elequently) and told her how I feel, and we're even closer now :smile:

I think that if you're really good friends, telling them how you feel won't harm anything, but that's just me, and then again, I DID have to get drunk first!!

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

I got feelings for one of my best friends (I'm a guy), and decided not to act on them because I could never be 100% sure that such feelings would be reciprocated. However about 3 months later, we both got drunk and ended up hugging and kissing. After that we both told each other how we felt, and got together. That was 3 months ago, and we're still together and its great :smile:

Sorry posting as anonymous, because I'm quite well know.

Reply 9

so_this_is_sam

3

Ahh all these best friend relationships mess with my head....

Reply 10

*Claire*

1

It is possible to miss a close friend cos you love them but in a friend way. However if you really miss them they might be more than a friend. But don't let other people put ideas into your head. My friend kept telling me how great a friend of mine was & how we would be good together, turns out we weren't! Slightly different I know but just be careful. It could just be infatuation & missing having someone around. When I'm feeling low I really miss my ex even tho I broke up with him & know that really I don't love him anymore, I just sometimes want a hug!

Reply 11

filastini

14

Anonymous

My mum has just told me she that she thinks I am in love with a guy who is a close friend to me. The idea has taken me by surprise because it had never occurred to me before now that I could feel anything but like for him.

He went away last week on holiday and he's not going to be back for a few weeks. Since he left I've found myself annoyed by every little thing and crying at random moments. I don't know why I've suddenly become so short-tempered and upset. I wouldn't blame hormones before anyone makes that suggestion.

So like the title says, can you be in love and not realise it? How can you tell if it is love and not just infatuation? I don't know what to do. The idea of being in love with him terrifies me because I go to uni soon and he's going to a university at the other end of the country and I didn't want to let myself get attached to anyone and make the first few months hard because they won't be there.

I doubt it. You wouldn't even ask if you were in love. You just miss him and more because he's a close friend.

Perhaps you love him as a friend; that's more than possible in your situation.

be in love and not know it?

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