We're in love! But she's changing a lot. I really can't take anymore and want a break from the relationship. I haven't told her yet, and she clearly doesn't see any problem.
For the last 2 months, we were planning to book a holiday together for next month. Now she wants to book it, and I've just been delaying it...saying I'm just busy with work etc...she doesn't see whats going on..
I'm scared to lose her...coz I want her...but I want a break..Ideally I want things between us to be the same when we're back...but how do I do this? I feel like things wont be the same, even if I put this idea on the plate...
what should I do? Book the holiday and see how it goes? Or just come clean and face the potential break up?
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GF wants to book holiday, I want to take a break... watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-07-2014 19:49
- 27-07-2014 19:53
I personally don't believe in 'breaks' - they might work for other people, but in my personal experience it was never the same after and I was always doubting my partners feelings and worrying when he was going to ask for another break. The relationship didn't work out, and honestly, we should have ended it rather than taking a break.
However, in your situation, you say you still love her. If you love her, why not try the holiday- see if your feelings build up again? Or maybe suggest she goes on a girls holiday and say you think the week apart would be healthy for the relationship! That might be what you need, a bit of space rather than a break!
Either way whatever happens, good luck!
- 27-07-2014 20:33
I don't think most girls will take too kindly to the idea of their bf suggesting a break. Most will have heard of bad experiences of it and it opposes the idea of commitment depending on what type of breakup you're suggesting.
The idea of a committed break isn't always a bad one, it depends on the individual, what type of person they are when it comes to relationships and what type of pace they move at. Some people are very excited and enthused about their relationship, they like to go at a fast pace and are very 'into' the relationship. Then you have some who are more laid back about it, while being excited and being into their partner they often like to keep things at a slower pace and can become overwhelmed if dating the other type of person. These aren't the only two types ofc, people can be anywhere along that sort of spectrum as current situations have a strong effect on behaviour which is prone to adjustments.
I digress, the above two examples are where it seems you're at, she's exhibit A and you're exhibit B. A break would benefit you, however will probably have adverse effects on her, causing a distance, doubt within the relationship and perhaps some neediness on her part.
Or at least that's my opinion based on past experiences.Last edited by So Instinct; 27-07-2014 at 20:34.
- 27-07-2014 21:29
So you don't like that she is changing, and somehow think a break will revert her?
/Logic does not compute/
I do not get this break thing it sounds like a surefire way to piss each other off.
As with most posts on TSR... why not talk to her?
- 27-07-2014 21:32
Well that's awkward...
- 28-07-2014 17:21
Don't lead her on by going on the holiday. I'd say sit down and talk to her, say you'd like to take a break , explain that you just want time to think, discuss the boundaries - are you guys still exclusive?