The Student Room Group

So insecure

Hi, this has probably been a thread before but i really need help. My boyfriend just swapped numbers with a girl he works with, all he did all day was ask me for info about nottingham as this girl he works with in Yorkshire is going to Nottingham uni. Totally innocent as i know he never would cheat. But why do i feel so angry? And worried. Angry that this girl is prob going to be texting him all time. i know i can trust him but why swap numbers with her in first place?

I been cheated on in past. I know this is so stupid. i can hear how stupid i sound i just so insecure that im not good enough. I know full well this insecurity WILL drive him away. He just dont get it. He even asked me what his number was so that he could give it her....

I need help with being insecure
If you trust him, then how about this. Maybe they're just friends. Maybe he's never been to Nottingham and he's interested what it's like. Maybe he's intending to visit her one day. :rolleyes: You wouldn't complain if it was a guy, would you? And the fact that he's being so blatantly open about it... you have nothing to worry about.
Reply 2
I think it's best that you have a word with him about it. :smile: It's not your fault that you feel insecure now, considering you've been cheated on in the past. Explain to him that it's not a matter of you not trusting him personally, just you've been cheated on in the past and it's shaken you a little.

I'm sure he'll understand. :smile:
I would feel the same as you Princess, I dont like my boyfriend talking to girls i dont know, im always suspicious of them. Even tho i trust him not to do anything, i get angry that he encourages their attention. All i can say is u should try to be confident about urself and give him no reason to look elsewhere, give him space and dont make an issue out of it. I bet he would feel the same if you were meeting up or calling a male friend..unless u and me are just insane...
I think all it needs is just a quiet word tell him you've been cheated on before, obviously dont accuse him of cheating.
Reply 5
Anonymous
I bet he would feel the same if you were meeting up or calling a male friend..unless u and me are just insane...


Nope- you're absolutely normal. :smile:
Anonymous
I would feel the same as you Princess, I dont like my boyfriend talking to girls i dont know, im always suspicious of them. Even tho i trust him not to do anything, i get angry that he encourages their attention. All i can say is u should try to be confident about urself and give him no reason to look elsewhere, give him space and dont make an issue out of it. I bet he would feel the same if you were meeting up or calling a male friend..unless u and me are just insane...


Thats exactly how i feel. i dont trust other girls cos most of us females are total cows. He's never strayed for a year. I know he finds me attractive... i am confident.. just. other girls... argh! I know that some girls think its ok to have someone elses boyfriend. Thats what scares me. I would never do that to another girl.

I not only been messed around but emotionally put down in the past. I was made to feel not good enough and i lost a hell of alot of weight through stress. One ex when drunk pushed me in a busy road.. I put the weight back on, get confident, or so i think, then i find the perfect guy. Then i ruin it. So my whole view on relationships have been mixed up by pigs. Yet when a good one comes along, i ruin it with "issues" i hate that word. But its what i got i guess.

Why cant we trust other girls lol.
There are two types of girl, the one who when she finds out a guy has a girlfriend will back off, and the type who will go after him anyway, i am the first type, and it is the second that we must be wary of. Guys are the same, some dont care if you have a boyfriend and will keep coming after you.

And its all well and good to say "I love my boyfriend and we trust each other", but how do you know that you are actually perfect for each other? Either of u mite meet someone unintentionally one day, not actually looking to meet anyone, it could be a friend or co worker, and you find you have a better connection with this person and decide you should be with this person instead of your partner. Theres no way of protecting against it. So i think we have a right to be suspicious and insecure, because no relationship is certain and definate. Ive come to accept that if there is someone better for him out there than me, then why should i stand in the way of his happiness. Aslong as he doesnt actually cheat on me as in sleeping with or kissing the person whilst he is with me then ill have to accept it despite how hurt i will be. As you can see, im not an optomist, rather i am a realist, so be realistic and just enjoy your time together. (Also this thread has touched a nerve with me so sorry for extra long post)
Oi its not just the guys who are bad!! The exchnge students out here at NUS from all over the world are dreadful especially the girls. The ones with boyfriends are all totally slagging it around!!

Oh and how can you be unhappy that he is friends with other girls? If you even try and confront him about that he will probably accuse you of not trusting him and it just wont work. Just act like it doesn't bother you I reckon is the best idea.