The Student Room Group

Out of your league

Had this discussion with a (female) friend of mine the other day.

She basically said no-one is out of anyones league.

Now I'm a loud, confident guy who will generally talk to anyone. And whilst I'm no Brad Pitt, I'm also no elephant man.

Still, wherever I am, its sometimes hard to approach a very pretty girl. The ones in my class at college and that I work with is obviously easy but just out generally...I'd even be a bit intimidated just talking to one as a mate incase they got the wrong idea because they will be used to guys chatting them up.

What do the pretty ones amognst you think when you approached by a guy that is not considered 'pretty'?

There is nothing worse in the world than pretty girls who know it and make it seem like they are better than you.The ones who will only have pretty friends etc...

I'm trying to find a point but I've lost it.

Thoughys?

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Reply 1
Well i can think of people who, no matter how drunk i was, i would never consider hooking up with. No problem being friends, but i'd just not think of them in a sexual way. So therefore yeah, i reckon there is such a thing as "out of your league".

Nick R
There is nothing worse in the world than pretty girls who know it and make it seem like they are better than you.The ones who will only have pretty friends etc...


VERY true. People like that do my head in.
Nick R

What do the pretty ones amognst you think when you approached by a guy that is not considered 'pretty'?

There is nothing worse in the world than pretty girls who know it and make it seem like they are better than you.The ones who will only have pretty friends etc...



I'm not saying I'm pretty but I don't judge a guy by his appearance - sure if an amazingly gorgeous guy approached me I'd think 'Yeah he's fit' but for me to form an opinion he'd have be nice, funny, all the usual qualities.

And I know lots of gorgeous girls who don't look down on people and act like they're God's gift. Sure I know a few, but they're the massive chested blondes, who all the guys see as a good sh*g and nothing else. So maybe you've had a bad experience with pretty girls, but if they've got any sense of decency they won't look down on anyone.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway.
Reply 3
I don't consider anyone 'out of my league',it's not a very good mindset to have I don't think.
Reply 4
Nick R
Had this discussion with a (female) friend of mine the other day.

She basically said no-one is out of anyones league.

Now I'm a loud, confident guy who will generally talk to anyone. And whilst I'm no Brad Pitt, I'm also no elephant man.

Still, wherever I am, its sometimes hard to approach a very pretty girl. The ones in my class at college and that I work with is obviously easy but just out generally...I'd even be a bit intimidated just talking to one as a mate incase they got the wrong idea because they will be used to guys chatting them up.

What do the pretty ones amognst you think when you approached by a guy that is not considered 'pretty'?

There is nothing worse in the world than pretty girls who know it and make it seem like they are better than you.The ones who will only have pretty friends etc...

I'm trying to find a point but I've lost it.

Thoughys?
The hard bit. Work that out and your problem is more or less solved.
Reply 5
I find being more relaxed to the whole girl thing as a whole makes this whole mindset towards people being out your league alot less of an issue.

When you first meet someone who you think is "out your league" dont always be thinking "oh is she too good lookin for me?" or "i wonder if i could get her". Girls notice this a mile off. Just chatting and generally just wanting to have good time makes you alot more of an attractive proposition, if nothing happens at least you have another friend :smile:
Reply 6
justfarhan
The hard bit. Work that out and your problem is more or less solved.


Can't you do it for me? :wink:
Reply 7
Yeah, what Mitchcore said.
Reply 8
mitchcore
I find being more relaxed to the whole girl thing as a whole makes this whole mindset towards people being out your league alot less of an issue.

When you first meet someone who you think is "out your league" dont always be thinking "oh is she too good lookin for me?" or "i wonder if i could get her". Girls notice this a mile off. Just chatting and generally just wanting to have good time makes you alot more of an attractive proposition, if nothing happens at least you have another friend :smile:


:dito: - Brilliant attitude to take, best way to go about things really
Reply 9
i pulled some well fit girl last night, didnt think i had a chance, started with me arsing about behind her, 3hrs later, back at mine. :smile:

im definately not what you call an attractive person, and she wasnt totally ****ed at all, i was though.

so, dont no what that means, but id deffo say this lass should be out of my league by a long way,
Reply 10
i don't feel anyone's out of my league
Reply 11
thats coz ur attractive rossj

probly make me sounds gay now, hmmm o well
Nick R
Had this discussion with a (female) friend of mine the other day.

She basically said no-one is out of anyones league.

Now I'm a loud, confident guy who will generally talk to anyone. And whilst I'm no Brad Pitt, I'm also no elephant man.

Still, wherever I am, its sometimes hard to approach a very pretty girl. The ones in my class at college and that I work with is obviously easy but just out generally...I'd even be a bit intimidated just talking to one as a mate incase they got the wrong idea because they will be used to guys chatting them up.

What do the pretty ones amognst you think when you approached by a guy that is not considered 'pretty'?

There is nothing worse in the world than pretty girls who know it and make it seem like they are better than you.The ones who will only have pretty friends etc...

I'm trying to find a point but I've lost it.

Thoughys?


Same as you, I am confident etc. Though I do get very intimidated by really pretty girls cos I get the impression that some of them can be quite 'stuck up'...(and I know a few that are)

I just don't let it bother me; what the others said is right, just be mates with them and see where it goes. In the mean time, just concentrate on yourself, girls come and go, you won't.
Reply 13
Of course there's such a thing as being out of someone's league. If a girl goes for powerful guys with big wallets then you're not going to have much luck with your job as a cleaner. That's life.

You have to have something to offer to the opposite sex to be in their league. If you don't have that something then you're out of their league. The best mindset to have though, as someone mentioned, and this comes with confidence, is to believe that you do have something to offer the opposite sex: say you don't have as great looks as a lot guys or say you don't have that much money as most guys but if you're confident, you believe that those guys have nothing over you and that you have just as much to offer.

However, you have to accept that quite often, what you have on offer won't be too all girls' tastes (this can be interpreted as being out of their league but doesn't have to be).
Reply 14
xyz2k6
Same as you, I am confident etc. Though I do get very intimidated by really pretty girls cos I get the impression that some of them can be quite 'stuck up'...(and I know a few that are)


Then you're not particularly confident. You're comfortable in a friendly environments with the girls you're used to. That's the case for a lot of people. Confident people aren't very intimated by pretty girls.
Reply 15
fez
thats coz ur attractive rossj

probly make me sounds gay now, hmmm o well


thank you very much, if anything its a sign of masculinity if you're straight and can say another guys attractive.

whilst i'm comfortable with my looks it's more about personality to me. eg i know girls love a good sense of humour and i know that i can make virtually everyone laugh. i'm also quite knowledgeable on a lot of things so i have no problems with conversation, especially fashion and style because i'm really into it - male and female. basically all across the board i have a really positive attitude, you should never go in thinking 'i'm not good enough for this girl', because with enough charm (not smarminess or cheesiness) you can get almost any girl. for me when i'm going on a date i don't get nervous because i don't go out to impress people, my thinking is the girl has to impress me not vice-versa.
Reply 16
wow shows how deluded some people with huge egoes can get...

Some people with huge confidence, if I was anything like them (lookswise or personalitywise), I'd want to kill myself. Seriously.
Reply 17
Sticky
wow shows how deluded some people with huge egoes can get...

Some people with huge confidence, if I was anything like them (lookswise or personalitywise), I'd want to kill myself. Seriously.


that's because people with little/no confidence hate the opposite in others. what is wrong with backing yourself? all throughout life people with low self esteem are given help and sympathy - this is shown numerous times everyday on this website, yet when someone comes along with the reverse of that a lot of people dislike it. the reason why i feel i can talk about my good points and not seem deluded is because i'm also very aware of my negative points and am the first to criticise myself.
Reply 18
unconfident people bore me.

i used to be all shy when i was fat about 3 years ago, my life is soooooo much better.
more self asteem >more confience > more fun > more friends simple
Reply 19
fez
unconfident people bore me.

i used to be all shy when i was fat about 3 years ago, my life is soooooo much better.
more self asteem >more confience > more fun > more friends simple


first part i completely agree with.

secondly whilst there is some overlap i think real confidence SHOULD (ideally-maybe i can't fully understand because i'm ok with how i look) come from within, rather than what's on the outside.