Girls with aspergers

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*Tanji*
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Hi. I am a 23 year old who has suffered from depression and social anxiety for many years but I have recently started thinking that these issues are a by-product of Aspergers. I have been diagnosed with depression and GAD but feel that the psychologists came to their decisions too quickly and that they did not take the time to consider the root.

I understand that Aspergers manifests itself differently in females and as such is harder to diagnose as girls are able to learn to copy some social skills and appear more neurotypical. I am seeing a psychologist next week and will express my thought that I feel I have Aspergers.

I can relate to most of the points in this link:

http://www.willowhope.com/pages/aspe...raits-in-girls

Are there any girls out there with Aspergers who feel that getting diagnosed has helped?
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Ciel.
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How is getting diagnosed going to help you? A label means nothing, there's not much support for aspergers.
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*Tanji*
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(Original post by Ciel.)
How is getting diagnosed going to help you? A label means nothing, there's not much support for aspergers.
I understand there is not that much support but I just want an answer as to why I am the way I am. Being diagnosed incorrectly has given me false hope in the past that things can improve and when they haven't I have been called treatment resistant by psychologists and counsellors. Told that I am not ready to change. Furthermore I feel that at least, when people question why I am so odd, I can tell them that I have Aspergers then they may be a bit more understanding and accommodating. Obviously some people may then decide they want to avoid me even more but it is better than no one knowing. From my experience of telling people that I have social anxiety, most people have been understanding and helpful.
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random123456
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(Original post by *Tanji*)
I understand there is not that much support but I just want an answer as to why I am the way I am. Being diagnosed incorrectly has given me false hope in the past that things can improve and when they haven't I have been called treatment resistant by psychologists and counsellors. Told that I am not ready to change. Furthermore I feel that at least, when people question why I am so odd, I can tell them that I have Aspergers then they may be a bit more understanding and accommodating. Obviously some people may then decide they want to avoid me even more but it is better than no one knowing. From my experience of telling people that I have social anxiety, most people have been understanding and helpful.
Hi Tanji,

I am a girl age 19 and I was diagnosed with Aspergers 3 months ago. I understand how you feel - for me it was all about gaining a better understanding of myself. My diagnosis has certainly helped me in that way!

Did you speak to the psychologist about it yet? If so, how did it go? How are you feeling about things now?

You might find these pages helpful:
http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autis...diagnosis.aspx

Feel free to ask me any questions you like about diagnosis / experience of Aspergers / or anything at all
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Ciel.)
How is getting diagnosed going to help you? A label means nothing, there's not much support for aspergers.
This is my experience too. Despite having a diagnosis of Autism, I have had some clueless professionals who works with disabled people, tell me it's anxiety.:mad:

I have asked for support because of my relationship issues. There is none. It seems that once you reach 16 / 18, there's no help at all. Yet, nothing's actually changed for most people - they still have the same issues they had when they were children. In fact, I now have more issues because of the lack of support.
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*Tanji*
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(Original post by random123456)
Hi Tanji,

I am a girl age 19 and I was diagnosed with Aspergers 3 months ago. I understand how you feel - for me it was all about gaining a better understanding of myself. My diagnosis has certainly helped me in that way!

Did you speak to the psychologist about it yet? If so, how did it go? How are you feeling about things now?

You might find these pages helpful:
http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autis...diagnosis.aspx

Feel free to ask me any questions you like about diagnosis / experience of Aspergers / or anything at all
Hi,

I saw the psychologist and he said he is not qualified to give a diagnosis for aspergers and would have to find out where he can refer me to.

Have you ever had a job? How did you find it? I have never had a good experience at work and am really worried about whether I will be able to stay in this job. That is my main worry. Though I am upset at my lack of friends and hate feeling so lonely and bored I feel I could live with this if I was holding down a job. Do you worry about your career prospects?

How long was the diagnostic process? What kind of questions did they ask?

Tanji
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Tiger Rag
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I was asked a lot about my childhood.
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Nathanielle
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Well, I would not say a diagnosis doesn't help, because although therapy is difficult to get (although that is very common, that it takes some time until you have found the perfect match, no matter what you have).

But: At least you know, what helps and e.g. that beating social anxiety it not that much about talking about your feelings, but learning it. That you develop strategies to cope and that can be done - in my eyes - to a certain extent which "just a good psychotherapist" (someone who actually takes a book out of the shelves and is able to read, because no matter what diagnosis the patient have, if it is not one of the most common or an "out-of-the-book"-case, then there is not THE therapy and it will be adapted to the need of the patient.). [Yes, I know, in the UK it takes very long to get psychotherapy, so trying out is probably harder.] A good therapist would als say openly, that he has no experience and/or no interest (time) to take you as patient.

Thus I would say, it is more than just a label, because it gets you an idea on what you have to work to reach the state you want and as you are already diagnosed with something, thus "labelled", I don't see the argument with the label. (Depends on the others, anyway, ... it is with any illness/disability.)
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Samwin
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Hiya, as a girl with Asperger's it did help me... in a way that at least I knew why I was different... that I wasn't a freak... I got diagnosed at the age of 11, but hate how little support there is out there for people with asperger's of our age category, professionals don't have a clue on it... they blame any "issues" on depression, childhood trauma... etc. I have been struggling so much recently myself, when I was diagnosed, they asked me a lot about what I think of certain situations, how I would react...

I wish honestly that I could move from England, the lack of support is astonishing. Our government needs to do something. Good luck with your psychologist appointment, you are welcome to message me if you need someone to chat to
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subjunctivehistorian
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(Original post by *Tanji*)
Hi. I am a 23 year old who has suffered from depression and social anxiety for many years but I have recently started thinking that these issues are a by-product of Aspergers. I have been diagnosed with depression and GAD but feel that the psychologists came to their decisions too quickly and that they did not take the time to consider the root.

I understand that Aspergers manifests itself differently in females and as such is harder to diagnose as girls are able to learn to copy some social skills and appear more neurotypical. I am seeing a psychologist next week and will express my thought that I feel I have Aspergers.

I can relate to most of the points in this link:

http://www.willowhope.com/pages/aspe...raits-in-girls

Are there any girls out there with Aspergers who feel that getting diagnosed has helped?
All of these things just sound EXACTLY like me. Is that normal? :/
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Edminzodo
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(Original post by *Tanji*)
Hi. I am a 23 year old who has suffered from depression and social anxiety for many years but I have recently started thinking that these issues are a by-product of Aspergers. I have been diagnosed with depression and GAD but feel that the psychologists came to their decisions too quickly and that they did not take the time to consider the root.

I understand that Aspergers manifests itself differently in females and as such is harder to diagnose as girls are able to learn to copy some social skills and appear more neurotypical. I am seeing a psychologist next week and will express my thought that I feel I have Aspergers.

I can relate to most of the points in this link:

http://www.willowhope.com/pages/aspe...raits-in-girls

Are there any girls out there with Aspergers who feel that getting diagnosed has helped?
Hi, can I PM you, please?

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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by subjunctivehistorian)
All of these things just sound EXACTLY like me. Is that normal? :/
Depends how you define normal. One of my male Autistic friends claims he's normal and everyone else is weird. Him being normal is rather debatable...
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random123456
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(Original post by *Tanji*)
Hi,

I saw the psychologist and he said he is not qualified to give a diagnosis for aspergers and would have to find out where he can refer me to.

Have you ever had a job? How did you find it? I have never had a good experience at work and am really worried about whether I will be able to stay in this job. That is my main worry. Though I am upset at my lack of friends and hate feeling so lonely and bored I feel I could live with this if I was holding down a job. Do you worry about your career prospects?

How long was the diagnostic process? What kind of questions did they ask?

Tanji
Hi Tanji, sorry for the really late reply! How are things going now?

If the psychologist hasn't referred you yet, I would suggest you try going to your GP as they may be able to help.

For me the diagnostic process lasted around 4 months from me going to my GP until getting the diagnosis. My GP was quite willing to refer me, and luckily there was an Aspergers/related clinic nearby which was able to see me fairly quickly. In the first appointment I had to bring a parent with me, because apparently symptoms of aspergers are supposed to be present from quite a young age. She asked us quite a lot of varied questions ranging around friendships, how I used to play when I was a kid, social interactions, verbal communication, routines...basically all the 'typical' symptoms of aspergers. I remember she did really get on my nerves because she kept cutting me off when I wanted to go into detail about something, which made me feel like she wasn't listening, but I guess it turned out she had been listening after all because she did diagnose me with aspergers! Then my mum left and I was able to talk to the psychologist 1:1, and I explained that I felt that my mum's answers to her questions may be influenced by the fact that she doesn't want to think I might have aspergers, and the psychologist did take this on board. While I was there I also had to fill out a couple of multiple choice questionnaires. Then she had an appointment with just my mum to ask her some more questions (to which her answer was mostly "I can remember what she was like when she was 5, which didn't prevent the psychologist from giving me a diagnosis). and next appointment was with just me where she told me I had aspergers and she was like "how do you feel about that?" and I was like "not surprised".

No, I've never had a job, but I haven't exactly been trying to have one either. I'm 19 so am just about to start my first year at uni, and career all seems a bit far off haha. However, I have done a lot of volunteering during my gap year. I have had some difficulties when volunteering mainly due to misunderstanding social interactions, but people can be more understanding when you explain that you have particular difficulties with this (even without an official diagnosis! for example just explaining "I find it difficult to X, it would really help me to work better if Y"). If you're having difficulty finding a job, I would recommend doing some volunteering because it's a good way to build up experience in the working environment. I also wonder whether this might be of any interest to you http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/need...rses/team.aspx - I know someone who did this and she said it was really good and there was a girl with aspergers in her team who apparently really benefitted from it. Also try having a look at the NAS website (autism.org.uk) for their advice, and you can also generally find a lot of advice on the internet/books for aspies (diagnosed or not) for how to cope in the workplace.

I hope that helps, but I know this can be a really frustrating time! Hold on
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whovian42
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Hey

I am a 23 year old who has suffered from depression and social anxiety for many years but I have recently started thinking that these issues are a by-product of Aspergers. I have been diagnosed with depression and GAD but feel that the psychologists came to their decisions too quickly and that they did not take the time to consider the root.

I understand that Aspergers manifests itself differently in females and as such is harder to diagnose as girls are able to learn to copy some social skills and appear more neurotypical. I am seeing a psychologist next week and will express my thought that I feel I have Aspergers.

I can relate to most of the points in this link:

http://www.willowhope.com/pages/aspe...raits-in-girls
I am at a fairly similar point and have been wondering whether to voice my concerns. I have wondered if I am Aspergers for nearly a year now since I first heard about it and realised that nearly everything that people said about it described me. I can relate to pretty much everything on the list but am worried that it will be dismissed as me just being a difficult teenager who has lived a sheltered life. Recently I have become quite depressed with the pressure of A-Levels and so all of the acting I normally do to cover up my 'quirks' has kinda been abandoned. As a result my parents think I am playing up to get attention but I don't know how to explain to them that it's how I am and how I always have been.

I would appreciate any advice on how/whether to pursue this further
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samba
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(Original post by subjunctivehistorian)
All of these things just sound EXACTLY like me. Is that normal? :/
A lot of them are perfectly normal and may not be related in any way to aspergers and could be indicative of a whole host of comorbidities. It's worth noting that everybody is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. It's a sliding scale, not an on/off switch so it's often gone from a serious diagnosis to a bit of a joke as it's just so all inclusive.

A better question for you is, do you feel disadvantaged or abnormal?
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subjunctivehistorian
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(Original post by samba)
A lot of them are perfectly normal and may not be related in any way to aspergers and could be indicative of a whole host of comorbidities. It's worth noting that everybody is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. It's a sliding scale, not an on/off switch so it's often gone from a serious diagnosis to a bit of a joke as it's just so all inclusive.

A better question for you is, do you feel disadvantaged or abnormal?
I feel that I look at things VERY differently to other girls my age. I only have one close friend because no other girls want to talk about my interests. I am obsessed with certain topics and historical periods to the extent that that's all I want to talk about. I'm childish and get excited about really babyish things. I hate social events, feel awkward and have panic attacks about socialising, to the point that I avoid these events. I feel difficult at college and spend my break/lunch working so as to avoid entering the common room. I use my work/studies as a control and I'm a perfectionist, I get excessively panicked when I am dragged from this.

So yeah, I would say that I do feel a little disadvantaged. :confused:
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samba
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(Original post by subjunctivehistorian)
I feel that I look at things VERY differently to other girls my age. I only have one close friend because no other girls want to talk about my interests. I am obsessed with certain topics and historical periods to the extent that that's all I want to talk about. I'm childish and get excited about really babyish things. I hate social events, feel awkward and have panic attacks about socialising, to the point that I avoid these events. I feel difficult at college and spend my break/lunch working so as to avoid entering the common room. I use my work/studies as a control and I'm a perfectionist, I get excessively panicked when I am dragged from this.

So yeah, I would say that I do feel a little disadvantaged. :confused:
I do all those exact things too though, but have never been labelled autistic! (though I'm likely mid range on the spectrum) Which historical topics? :teeth:

Some of those things are advantages, or at the very least double edged swords.
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subjunctivehistorian
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(Original post by samba)
I do all those exact things too though, but have never been labelled autistic! (though I'm likely mid range on the spectrum) Which historical topics? :teeth:

Some of those things are advantages, or at the very least double edged swords.
I'd say I'm more verging on aspergers :dontknow:
The slave trade mostly but also the Vietnam war, good for my personal statement I guess

Yeah I agree, they can be advantageous too
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samba
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(Original post by subjunctivehistorian)
I'd say I'm more verging on aspergers :dontknow:
The slave trade mostly but also the Vietnam war, good for my personal statement I guess

Yeah I agree, they can be advantageous too
aspergers = autism spectrum!

I'm not saying you don't have issues or whatever, or that you shouldn't get support for them, but you should appreciate yourself for who you are too. You likely already beat yourself up enough
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KiwiMonkey96
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I would say to anyone who has a strong feeling that they do have asperger's to try and get a diagnosis especially if you are in education. I have recently been diagnosed and now, as I'm going to uni in September, have received extra support through dsa (well, waiting for confirmation of the things reconmended from my needs assessment) and will probably get certain exam arrangements at uni which I would not have done otherwise .
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