I feel like the only person to be having one of these, most people seem settled and when things arent working out they can easily "let go", trouble is - I argue, break up but I never really let him go - and my bf wont either..its been going on for so long now. I sometimes can be truly happy but then it all starts to go wrong and hes hurt me in the past/I've also made a mistake. I dont know how to break the cycle/tried everything on the typical how "break up and move on" list but I do ultimately love him and can never stop thinking about him. Hes never said he'd wanted to break up with me/yet I have twice for various reasons in the past 20 months. I want to be with him yet I can never let go of the bad feelings of the past neither can I move on to the future. None of our friends ever know whats going on between us and thats an added pressure as they keep asking. Im just wondering as it really is time to decide one way or the other, maybe I should write a pros and cons list.