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Most guys are potential

Feeling ignored by guys from ages of 13-18 (went to an all girls school) allowed me to develop a defence mechanism (I’m now 22). I believed that I was unattractive and no guy would want me (I don’t feel like this now).

One thing that I have realised about me, is that most guys that display an interest in me by chatting (and seems genuinely interested in what I have to say), I start seeing them as a guy I could potentially like (friends or more). Maybe I’m impressed that they want to talk to me and this is the after-effects of feeling unattractive for years. Is this a rational way of thinking?

I’ve always said that I don’t have a type and looks are secondary when I meet guys that could be bf material, so this may have something to do with it.

Reply 1

Profesh

20

Yes. Yes, it is.

Reply 2

User69701

10

Yes.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

i went to a girl school and btw still am in a girl sixth form idk if u get these feelings but u do have a point i mean whenever a guy spoke to me or speaks to me i feel they want something like they want a relationship even if its a basic question idk i dont feel like it now but i get u and can relate to u i feel totally withdrawn from guys at times unsure of what they want it gets confusing but that could possible be i dont really care about looks in a guy i think due to my being in a girl school looks doesnt bother me i guess he just has to be understanding and not a jerk. if that makes sense.

Reply 4

Champagne-Dahling

10

^ a full stop/comma here and there wold help it make a little more sense.

Reply 5

Shéamais

11

Champagne-Dahling

^ a full stop/comma here and there wold help it make a little more sense.

agreed

Reply 6

User69701

10

Most time of the time whne a guy speaks to you - he wants something. There are a feew who are not like that, but thats just a few.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

i went to a girl school and btw still am in a girl sixth form idk if u get these feelings but u do have a point i mean whenever a guy spoke to me or speaks to me i feel they want something like they want a relationship even if its a basic question idk i dont feel like it now but i get u and can relate to u i feel totally withdrawn from guys at times unsure of what they want it gets confusing but that could possible be i dont really care about looks in a guy i think due to my being in a girl school looks doesnt bother me i guess he just has to be understanding and not a jerk. if that makes sense.

This is how I kinda feel. I used to think like that, I always thought the only reason a guy was talking to me was because he just wanted to get stuff from me, and wasn't interested in me genuinely. I now know that this may have put off some guys who were genuinely interested in me. I'm 22 but sometimes when it comes to relationships and stuff, I feel as uncertain as I was when I was 16.

Now I just think aah, he's making an effort with me (when they could just be friendly) and I could start seeing him as something more. I agree with you that looks is not important. He just has to be a "nice" and understanding guy.

Reply 8

Austin226

JayB124

Most time of the time whne a guy speaks to you - he wants something. There are a feew who are not like that, but thats just a few.

i think thats complete bull, i have loads of female friends and i chat and talk to them constantly because they are just that, my friends - i am intrested in what goes on in their lives, i dont want anything from them. You shouldnt think that every single guy that talks to u is just doing so becuase he wants to get into your pants, thats the wrong attitude

Reply 9

User69701

10

No no no. I'm saying that some guys are like that. I have loads of female friends where I want nothing more too. But unfortunately most of them have had guys do that to them and a lot of my male friends do it.

Reply 10

Austin226

i can understand that once bitten twice shy but to tar every bloke with the same brush is.....well a shame, hey there are lots of different types of guys & girls out their but i think that everyone should at least be given a chance.

Reply 11

User69701

10

Of course not. The girl will be the best judge of what the guy is after. When I just want to talk with a (strange)girl (they are far better undestanding than blokes IMO) they seem to understand that I just want to talk.

Reply 12

stoney

12

Austin226

i can understand that once bitten twice shy but to tar every bloke with the same brush is.....well a shame, hey there are lots of different types of guys & girls out their but i think that everyone should at least be given a chance.

agreed, a lot of girls i know seem to think this. if girls are so perceptive and understanding then how come they keep thinking "hello, how are you?" is a chat up line? if someone comes over to you for a chat then shock horror chances are that they probably want a chat, dont read too much into things. (but i agree that some guys, when they go to chat girls up just make it so obvious lol)

Reply 13

JamieInPompey

6

Yeah it is really annoying cos when you are trying to chat a girl up they act normal with you! To be fair though the last two girls I have proper fallen for have ended up my best friends one for like 6 years and the other for a year. So guys and girls can be friends with it leading to nothing more, even if like me they fancied the girl at first.

Most guys are potential

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