The Student Room Group

am i making the wrong choice?

my parents want me to go to uni in USA and study medicine and be a doctor. which means doing the following A levels - biology chemistry and maths.

ive decided to do eng lit, eng lang, media studies and biology.

my parents are very disappointed in me, and i feel really bad, like i am making the wrong choice with my life, since choosing A level subjects are very important.
im a 16 yr old girl thats just finished my GCSES and got my results on thurs. i dont really understand chemistry that well. i was ok at maths at GCSE but i found the higher paper hell. i got B's in maths and science.
but i got A in eng lit, A in media, B in eng lang.
so im more of an arts person....

i just feel really worried like that maybe my parents are right...
Your parents are wrong and in fact really cheeky to ask you to follow a career you didn't choose. They may want what is best for you, but they don't have to study a subject they find hell.
Do the A-levels YOU enjoy and choose the unis you want!
Reply 2
hey hun dont worry
im more of an arts person myself
i didnt properly admit it until an admissions tutor told me the diff between my *,a's and bs was the arts and science
id advise you to do a subject you can do well in and if you want to apply to medicine it is likely you will need to swap a subject u want for chemistry or even do 4. i wudnt worry about maths but chemistry is a must, try and find it in yourself to believe you have the strength to do chemistry. work at it. i hated chemistry and my teacher was not good at teaching it. i moved school and my new teacher was amazing, i enjoyed the subject [to an extent] and got an a. so you can work at it if its wot you really want
good luck
You're making the wrong choice for them but totally the right choice for YOU. At the end of it all, it's your future and your career, whilst you may feel alright if you change your subjects just to please them, how are you going to feel when you're stuck or struggling in a career that you don't want to be in.

Have you sat down and talked to them about it? Voiced your opinions and how you see the situation? Perhaps tell them that you can see their point of view but in the long run it's your future.

Good luck,
Sarah
Anonymous
Your parents are wrong and in fact really cheeky to ask you to follow a career you didn't choose. They may want what is best for you, but they don't have to study a subject they find hell.
Do the A-levels YOU enjoy and choose the unis you want!


agreed.

Your parents are going to be dead within the next 40 year or so. Then you are stuck with a career that does not fulfill you an dquite possibly makes you miserable. When i lived with my grandparents they tried that one, wanting me to become a doctor so they can turn round and brag about how well thier grandson was doing becoming a doctor. Parents do not have the right to force you into a career they want you to have

Its your life, your future, your career, you do what you want to do with it. And best of luck with it
Reply 5
No you're not making the wrong choice. What makes Medicine such a great career anyway? You work like 70 hours a week, get no time for yourself or family and you get paid not very well at first plus you get sued all the time! If you wanna be a doctor, that's brilliant and it is a good job - but if you don't, then objectively speaking, what makes a doctor any better than a teacher? Without teachers, no one would become doctors in the first place!

If you found Maths at GCSE remotely difficult I'm pretty sure A-Level Maths would be hell for you. Chemistry at GCSE is fairly easy and if you didn't understand it, you're not gonna cope at A-Level. And if you're gonna go onto becoming a doctor you must have AAAA in all your subjects or your chances of getting in are remote. So if you're not good at the subjects anyway, what's the point in taking them? You'll only come out with B's and C's and that's not enough to get you into Medicine in the first place.

Take whatever it is you love. I took Neuroscience under the influence of my parents at uni and sincerely regretted it. I am now transferring to do Art History and restarting my year this Sep and I can't wait. In the end, this is gonna make your career and you're gonna have to live with it and you and you only will have to live with it, not your parents. So do whatever it is you love. And trust me, being stuck simply doing a subject you dislike is hell - I've been there lol. And knowing this subject is getting you to a place you dread to be in is worse. I was in tears when I realised my parents don't disapprove as much as I thought they would - when my dad told me to switch courses, I cried so much cus I was so overjoyed. Lol see the relief? You don't wanna be stuck doing something you don't wanna do. Trust me on this one.
Reply 6
i really really want to be a teacher not a doctor. im deaf (well i can hear fine..just wear hearing aids and i talk fine) well my parents say i will be the subject of mickey taking if i choose to be a teacher...i want to teach english or biology at a secondary school and they are putting me down and i feel bad like i really cant be a teacher
my cousin is blind and has just finished university studying english literature to go on to be a teacher. no offence meant to you but your parents are being selfish if they are dissappointed in you. its your life not theirs - seems like they are trying to make up for things they havetn acheived themselves by forcing u into things you dont want to do. to do medecine you basically need 3As at a level - which you wont get unless u enjoy the subjects!! ignore what they say and do the subjects you wont its not their life to choose x
If you were to become a doctor there would be a huge amount of more work envolved and getting B's at GCSE in key subjects is proberly not enough, beleive me A levels are soooo much harder!

Your parents are being rather rude, do what feels right, you cant complete a degree etc in an area you are not passionate for. I think you have made the right decision just keep with it! Good Luck
Reply 9
It can be difficult sometimes feeling like you're disappointing your parents but they are not going to live your life for you and you should do what makes you happy. If you aren't that great at chem or math, it will definitely be hell for you at A level. You don't want to regret it later. Your parents will eventually come to terms with it.
You have to do what is right for you! It may seem tempting to take the easy route of pleasing your parents but at the end of the day if it will jepordise your happiness then it's just not worth it! How will you feel when you've left home to study medicine and your parents aren't there all the time to tell you that it's the right thing to do? you'l be miserable coz you'll know it's not what you want.
The previous poster is right A levels are much harder than GCSEs and many people drop a grade down from what they got in GCSEs. Even if you did get A's at A level then ur B's at GCSE would probably put you at disadvantage anway as medicine is so competative.
But the bottoom line is that you must do what you want to do, not what your parents want you to do! They've lived their life the way they want, they should respect you enough to allow you to do the same! xxx
Nope you're not making the wrong decision! In my opinion there is no such thing as a wrong decision..just two separate paths, both of which are right..it's all an adventure!

The only difference between the two paths is that they offer different experiences..whatever you chose, there will always be positive outcomes to both. For example you may find after picking the A-levels that you want to do that you don't actually enjoy them..so what?! you will have learnt that they aren't for you and move onto something else (see what I mean about positive outcomes?!). You can't lose, regardless of the outcome of the decision you eventually make.

What's most important is your happiness, so you have really got to do what is best for YOU not your parents. If they love you, then they should support whichever you decide and be available to help if and when you need them, knowing that you are doing what's making you happy.
Reply 12
Just out of interest, why do your parents want you to study Medicine in the USA? Do they realise it's only graduate entry over there?
It would be very difficult to study something you have very little or no interest in.
Anonymous
im deaf (well i can hear fine..just wear hearing aids and i talk fine) well my parents say i will be the subject of mickey taking if i choose to be a teacher


And hearing aids could have been the subject of mickey taking when you were at school, but I bet they still wanted you to go :wink: They shouldn't be trying to "protect" you (when I say you, I mean their doctor interests!) about your hearing aids! Depending on the school and age and personality, there's probably always going to be one who takes the mick out of their teachers and for any reason.


Don't get swallowed in by your parents making this into such a big deal. It's nice that they want you to do well, but they can't go actually as far as choosing your courses and career for you!

College is great, you finally get to just study what you like, and uni is even more select so I think you'll have to be gutsy and stand up to your parents rather than studying something you don't want to do. Also if your heart isn't in it maybe you wouldn't focus as much on getting the grades?

Hmmmm.


Families are odd things aren't they =)
Reply 15
You're not making the wrong choice at all. It's far better to do subjects that you're good at and that you want to do. There's no point chossing a career because that's waht your parents want, because at the end of the day, it's your career. Also, medicine's incredibly difficult to get in to, so if you're not absolutely amazing at maths and science and not absolutely passionate about medicine, no offence intended, but you may not stand that good a chance of getting in to a university program for medicine.

Play to your strengths and what you enjoy. It's not like being a doctor is the only good career you can have. With the A-levels you've chosen you have loads of different and very good careers still open to you (law, business etc) which you'd probably enjoy doing far more, and be much better at.
They are WRONG. I can't even begin to tell you how wrong they are. You are 16, this is YOUR LIFE. You know what you are good at and what you enjoy, even if you don't have a concrete career plan. If you are good at arts subjects, follow them! I did. I took English Lit, History and Politics for A Level and did quite well :smile: (AAB). I took Physics for AS, out of a desire to be more "rounded" and to prove I had multiple strengths and it was a sorry and harrowing experience. Always follow your strengths and never do something simply because someone "older and wiser" says you must. They are truly misguided if they are even considering pushing you towards a career that you are not naturaly inclined towards. All this will do is make a failure out of you and cause resentment between you and your family. You will fly the nest in a few years, so start taking the control that will enable you to do this. Out your foot down.

All the best. Keep me informed as to how it goes!
Reply 17
Do subjects that you want, and are good at. You have to enjoy your subjects to have any hope of doing well at A-Level
Yeah I agree with all of these posts. My dad didnt want me to take Drama because he thought I was taking it as an easy subject, which at the time I was, but now I am doing it an uni. So do what you want not what your parents want