Loneliness, neglected and forgotton :(

I think I've really hit rock bottom now :frown:

My parents completely neglect me. I barely get noticed by them at all and has been the same since i was a little kid. I was always shouted out to concentrate on my education (which i did) and came out with great results in GCSEs (5A*s, 4As and 1B) and Alevels (AAB) yet they downplayed my results and kept saying i have no hope in getting a 'proper' job :frown:

. Funnily, i've been juggling work and education since i turned 16. My parents buy anything and everything for my older and younger siblings yet when it came to me i barely got anything. I cant remember recieving a single thing from my parents since my early teens. I guess them not giving me anything helped me become independent and so i landed my first job aged 16 as a tutor. Decent pay and it helped me buy books and everything for sixth form and clothes and other things i desired. Now after finishing 1st year at uni, i barely got any support from my parents. Everything i need and want has always been covered by me having to work very hard for some money. Its so depressing seeing my friends being given mobey from the parents and also seeing thier parents buy them cars and such.
Also, i barely get any emotional support from my parents or advice. I cant remember a single childhood moment with my dad :frown:

. I envied those kids at school whose fathers used to pick them up from school and joke around with them. I've been taking a bus/walking home from school since i was 7, making excuses up to teachers to let me leave since i knew my mum wasnt going to come to collect me. I envied those kids who kicked the ball around with thier dad on the weekends while i sat alone in the park. I envied those kids whose mother gave them kisses before school. I never got any of that :frown:

, even though these happened with my siblings. It never happened with me. 3 years back, my dad called me a mistake (i dont even know why and what i did that day that made him so mad). My mum barely talks to me and i dont exactly get on with my siblings and also because all my siblings are sisters and i didnt have a brother. I envy all my friends whemever i went to thier house and saw how thier parents treated them so well yet while I'm barely noticed by my parents. I'm really worried that my parents may end up chucking me out the house (surprised they havent, probably forgot that i even livein the house). I've saved up close to 15k just in case but the thought terrifies me. It hurts to know while im all alone in my shoe box room, my family is laughing and having a meal together. Nowadays i stay away from everyone in the house since i know if i make a mistake it'll lead to my parents shouting at me.
Other than the neglection from my parents, I've realised that I'm becoming incredibly distant from my close friends. Due to long hours of being alone, I've become boring and so unsocial. By continually turning down invites to go to do things with my friends, they've kind of forgotton me. All of them went on holiday without me and I've even been removed from the group chat on whatsapp :frown:

. I usually now tend to spend most of my day in the same routine everyday. Sleep, work, gym (3 days a week), a few hours of staring at the wall then sleep again. I've teied volunteering to meet people but i just feel like i have such low self esteem. I struggle to approach people to talk.
I domt even know if anyone would bother to read this :redface:

, i dont even know why i wrote this, probably to just get something off my chest. I know my life isnt bad and i always think that i should be grateful to have 2 legs, 2 arms, ability to see, hear and taste, the fact that i have a job and go uni for education. Something that many people around the world dont have. But i would trade all of those for a bit of love from my parents.

Reply 1

lauren.1097

I'm sorry to hear about this and I understand what you're saying about your lack of memories with your dad. My life is similar. If you want to talk privately message me :smile:

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Reply 2

cmad95

You are starting to experience the major signs of depression, Like the distancing yourself from everyone you know is already REALLY a bad sign. Also it is not something you will be able to shake off. If you are not seeing a therapist, I hope you can find the motivation to go a doctor.

Reply 3

Iggy Azalea

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm... I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. It's definitely seems like you're depressed. The most common routes are to see a therapist or go on meds, but I think there are things you can do to combat this:

First off, talk to your parents. Tell them exactly how you feel. Or at least tell a family member, as they can help back you up if you parents deny that they ignore you. If you don't want to, perhaps just drop some thoughtful questions like 'do I annoy you?', 'can you call me more often when I'm at university' etc.

Secondly, make an effort to establish a relationship with them. Just because they don't connect with you, it doesn't mean you have to hate them. Yes they may have ignored you and still do, but if you call them every week or so when you're at university. Offer to help out with household chores, make them dinner or watch TV together. Make them see how good you are, instead of enforcing the opinion they have of you.

Thirdly, fight your depression. This is going to take time. Get yourself involved with your friends, invite them to do a group activity, whether that's going to a pub/club or bowling or camping etc. Literally force yourself to go, as you will feel so much better when you're with them. Have early nights, people feel more depressed in the evening, so adjusting your body clock will fight this. Do lots of exercise, depression is the result of hormone imbalances and by exercising, you realise endorphins will counteract this and restore your hormone levels. Keep your mind busy, try reading a hard book, playing a video game, doing a sport, learning a new skill. Going travelling will really help you do this. Generally, you should find that your unhappiness will wear off over a few weeks.

Remember, it's not the end of the world, and there's so much happy stuff still to do in your life. :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

This was upsetting to read. Sorry that you feel this way, what you describe about your parents, in my opinion, constitutes emotional abuse. I think it would be worth a shot having a serious conversation with your parents about how you're feeling, keep it calm and mature. If things don't improve, then it may be worth trying to move out if you can. If you separate yourself from the perpetrator(s) of your suffering, your depression may diminish and you'll finally have a chance to heal and move on. As far as your friends go, try and get in contact with maybe one or two of them and see where that takes you. I would also seriously consider going to visit your GP and explaining your situation, medication and therapy could be very helpful.

Loneliness, neglected and forgotton :(

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