Scared about uni

Although I'm not due to start uni until Sep 16th, I'm already getting really worried about going. All of my friends seem to be really excited about moving away from home and starting afresh in a new place - and even though I'm excited, I cant stop thinking about how scary its going to be. Most people I know dont seem worried or nervous at all! I come across confident on the outside, but inside I'm terrified.
I'm having trouble sleeping and I keep worrying, but deep down I'm looking forward to going. Its so confusing! :confused:

I'm really nervous about leaving my family. Ive had to overcome a lot of problems (I was physically abused by my uncle as a child and since then I've had depression, an eating disorder and Ive had problems with self harm). My parents have been my support system and having to live without them worries me, but at the same time I really want to get the full experience of uni (independence etc) and make new friends. Im trying to comfort myself by thinking that when Im at uni, I'm only an hour away from home but I cant stop worrying!

The uni I'm going to is also my insurance choice so I didnt really commit to it from the beginning. I didnt look round because I wanted to get into my firm so much. As a result, Ive had to compromise on accommodation etc. I was upset when I didnt get my grades, but now Ive realised that uni is what you make it and I'll be happy with the course Ive got into. I did consider a gap year but because of financial reasons Id rather start now, which is why I have to get over this worry.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Id like to hear from last years freshers and people feeling the same as me. Its like I'm fighting against myself as half of me is really excited but the other half is terrified and wants to stay at home where everything is safe and familiar. Its really getting me down.

Reply 1

User69701

10

Everyone is the same. Noone wants to seem scared, but they are. When you go there you will see that everyone is in the same boat as you.

Reply 2

music__lover

firstly you are definately not alone in feeling how you do, i'm going to uni on the 23rd of sept, and although half of me is really excited, deep down i'm absolutely terrified! I can understand to a certain exten what you're feeling about u parents being your support system, i've not been through what you have but whenever anything in my life has gone wrong my parents have always been there for me, especially my mum who i'm very close to. The way i see it is that my parents will always be there for me, whether i live with them or not, and i suspect ur parents are the same. Try and see uni as ur chance for a blank canvas, a fresh start and an exciting new experience. I reckon once we've been there for a few weeks we'll wonder what we were worrying about!

Reply 3

ECHASL

if ur only an hour away u cud stay at home cudnt u?

maybe that wud be easier. wat uni btw?

Reply 4

khil

15

Anonymous

Although I'm not due to start uni until Sep 16th, I'm already getting really worried about going. All of my friends seem to be really excited about moving away from home and starting afresh in a new place - and even though I'm excited, I cant stop thinking about how scary its going to be. Most people I know dont seem worried or nervous at all! I come across confident on the outside, but inside I'm terrified.
I'm having trouble sleeping and I keep worrying, but deep down I'm looking forward to going. Its so confusing! :confused:

I'm really nervous about leaving my family. Ive had to overcome a lot of problems (I was physically abused by my uncle as a child and since then I've had depression, an eating disorder and Ive had problems with self harm). My parents have been my support system and having to live without them worries me, but at the same time I really want to get the full experience of uni (independence etc) and make new friends. Im trying to comfort myself by thinking that when Im at uni, I'm only an hour away from home but I cant stop worrying!

The uni I'm going to is also my insurance choice so I didnt really commit to it from the beginning. I didnt look round because I wanted to get into my firm so much. As a result, Ive had to compromise on accommodation etc. I was upset when I didnt get my grades, but now Ive realised that uni is what you make it and I'll be happy with the course Ive got into. I did consider a gap year but because of financial reasons Id rather start now, which is why I have to get over this worry.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Id like to hear from last years freshers and people feeling the same as me. Its like I'm fighting against myself as half of me is really excited but the other half is terrified and wants to stay at home where everything is safe and familiar. Its really getting me down.

Awww baby

Don't worry - I'm sure you'll love uni. I certainly did when I got there! Face your fears cus it's worth it. You'll have to learn to live away from your family eventually and uni is a safe environment to get used to that, you know? You still have next to no responsibilities, you still have the safety of home and you're there to study what you love and make new friends - it's the one time in life where you're away from home, able to be as independent as you want, but knowing that you always have your family to fall back upon, and you don't have to be totally alone just yet. You'll make so many brilliant friends you won't wanna go home :biggrin:

I've felt like that several times, even though I also love home, but I miss uni, you know?

OUt of interest, what was your firm and what's the uni you're going to now?

You know deep down it's gonna be one fantastic experience and you're just scared cus it's new. It's nerve-racking but that's what makes it exciting - it's all new. And everything new is always scary but how many times have you been so glad that you tried something new cus you realised it's so cool? To use a pretty bad analogy - I draw and I never used to wanna colour in my stuff cus I'm scared that I'll ruin a 5-hour piece. Eventually I tried it and now I'm confident with it and it's so much fun and I have the best of both worlds! I know it's uni you're on about and it's a lot lot lot bigger than some simple art stuff, but it's the same principle, you know? Scared to try a new thing - tried it - finds out it's actually pretty cool :smile:

And also, you're not alone with being scared. I've already spent a year at uni and I'm a little nervous about going back cus I'm transferring courses so I'm restarting my first year. I'm worried about how it's gonna all work, with bills, with social life, work etc, the bus, getting home at night. You know? Meeting first years. I'm a little aprehensive (sp?) but I can't wait to go back all the same lol. But hey, if a 2nd-year-turned-fresher is nervous, you're more than entitled to be scared. lol.

Reply 5

afcwill

11

Anonymous

Although I'm not due to start uni until Sep 16th, I'm already getting really worried about going. All of my friends seem to be really excited about moving away from home and starting afresh in a new place - and even though I'm excited, I cant stop thinking about how scary its going to be. Most people I know dont seem worried or nervous at all! I come across confident on the outside, but inside I'm terrified.
I'm having trouble sleeping and I keep worrying, but deep down I'm looking forward to going. Its so confusing! :confused:

I'm really nervous about leaving my family. Ive had to overcome a lot of problems (I was physically abused by my uncle as a child and since then I've had depression, an eating disorder and Ive had problems with self harm). My parents have been my support system and having to live without them worries me, but at the same time I really want to get the full experience of uni (independence etc) and make new friends. Im trying to comfort myself by thinking that when Im at uni, I'm only an hour away from home but I cant stop worrying!

The uni I'm going to is also my insurance choice so I didnt really commit to it from the beginning. I didnt look round because I wanted to get into my firm so much. As a result, Ive had to compromise on accommodation etc. I was upset when I didnt get my grades, but now Ive realised that uni is what you make it and I'll be happy with the course Ive got into. I did consider a gap year but because of financial reasons Id rather start now, which is why I have to get over this worry.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Id like to hear from last years freshers and people feeling the same as me. Its like I'm fighting against myself as half of me is really excited but the other half is terrified and wants to stay at home where everything is safe and familiar. Its really getting me down.

I can relate to most of your story, anon. I didnt get into my firm, got poor grades (im gonna try and retake some), i also wasn't interested in going to my insurance choice either and like you didn't look round it. i also worry a lot as well (exams are the worst - i have like panic attacks in the exam and stuff and i think this brought my grades down). However, what me, you and thousands of other people have in common is that we are all moving away from our homes for the first time, all doing something that seems a little bit daunting (and expensive!) - but remember one very impportant thing....... your family will ALWAYS be there for you no matter what, friends come and go and real ones stay but family is a support network in itself. You may find that your family will support you more now at uni because you wont see them most of the time and so they will look out for you more and their guidance and advice will be very valuable to you whilst your there. My family gave me great advice when i was down because i worked so hard to get my results and didnt get what i should have - aren't nerves a terrible thing! :rolleyes:

. They all said that they would travel the 2 hour journey to see me from time to time which will settle my mind and it shows that they care a lot. Just think how much more stronger minded you will be when you can say that you went away for 3 years of your life and tackled all sorts of emotional barriers over those years - thats how im looking at it, its an achievement in itself!
anyway i wish you all the best and just remember that if you do "stumble" your family will be there to help you up, dust yourself off and carry on. Im sure we'll all learn a lot from uni that we can use to our advantage.
Good Luck :smile:

Reply 6

Hayley31

you dont mention which uni your now going to but perhaps try going on to the part of this wonderful website for that uni and talking to others who are starting at the same uni. U might be able to make a new friend, just finding others going to the same place and doing the same thing will give u that little bit more confidence. Im a twin and im terrified of uni, my sister has always been more dominant and does all the little stuff for me. For me uni will be the first time i have to walk into some where on my own with out her to lead the way.
The bottom line is everyone is scared of uni, its new and totally different but take what you dont like about your life now( for me its that im not very independant) and remember that uni will change that about you. Do whatever it takes you now to build your confidence and im sure when you get to uni you will find that everyone else is just as scared and worried. :smile:

Reply 7

CelenaGaia

Heya hon, I'm offering my deepest sympathies to you coz can totally relate, as I also have an eating disorder/OCD and am ****TING myself about the drastic changes to my daily routines that are going to happen. Honest to God, sometimes I wonder if I'm autistic I get so bogged down in details and upset when things change. But no, that can't be right - I was always very ritualistic as a kid, but only got this bad when I got to a low weight (affects brain mentality) so I know this isn't the real me.

Anyways, what I'm trying to wafflingly say, is although my fears may differ slightly from yours, as would be expected, I can understand where you're coming from in terms of fears about uni. I'm scared of the usual things other students worry about - meeting new people, whether they'll like me, the workload, accomodation issues, etc. But on top of that, I'm cacking myself about having to find a new supermarket to shop in, whether I can get the same food as I do at home, how I'll have to adjust my exercise routines, whether people are gonna hate me for the anal, stubborn, self-righteous perfectionist that I know I am. My Mom hates my personality as it is and constantly wishes I would go back to who I was before I got ill. Try taking away the memories of my abusers and the feelings of loss of self-control, and maybe I might not go back to being who I was as a kid - we can never do that - but I'd love to evolve into a more positive, mature, flexible ADULT who's at peace with herself. Perhaps you can understand how this feels too?

Gooc luck at Uni - do what I'm doing, and try to keep your eyes fixed on the basketball court and the hoop above your head, not just the ball clutched in your hands. I just made that analogy up on the spot, it sucks....basically, keep your head focused on the big picture, not getting bogged down in the little details like me!

Scared about uni

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