think i did it wrong...

i went over to my boyfriends last night, and wed never been further than kissing before but he kind of pushed my hand downwards into his trousers... I had no idea what to do, kind of just 'felt my way round' as it were for a while... then he said he needed to use the loo , got up and left. I don't know if he genuinely needed to, or whether he wasn't enjoying it or what...when he came back i felt really bad so said it was late and should prob get some sleep etc. He agreed, kissed me and then we went to bed...am really worried now, i don't know what to do next time the situation arises...whether to just try again, or avoid it. Obviously better if i talk to him about it, i know, but I've never been in a relationship where its got to this stage before, so don't really know how to approach it....?!?

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Reply 1

Azzle

there isn't really any right or wrong really. i always end up just messin round. i mean, obv there are things that could hurt or feel uncomfortable or whatever, but you're probs just worrying. why not just talk to him about it?? as in, ask what he likes, that way you don't have to say anything like "i dont really know what i'm doing", whilst finding out what he likes.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

It is possible that he didn't enjoy it, but if that's the case he can't really expect too much seeing as it was your first time. There is also the possibility that he went to the toilet to relieve himself and didn't want you to see that you had excited him because it was your first time and all.

The only way to know for sure is to ask him.

Reply 3

pol_student

You need to be honest and open with him - if you can't be, then you really shouldn't be doing anything more than kissing really.

If you are unsure about whether he likes what you are doing, then the only way to find out is to ask him - only HE can tell you what HE likes.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

i would ask him what to do etc, except hes really shy about talking about how he feels in general- and i don't want to make him feel awkward i guess, as i suspect he would feel...i know hes never been in a serious relationship before so i guess the whole being open about sex thing is new to us both...

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

so i guess the whole being open about sex thing is new to us both...

Learn to be open about sexual things THEN try them out. Not the other way round. That's a big mistake. If you can't talk about sex and sexual things to the person you're supposed to be close to, then you're not ready for that stuff.

Reply 6

foxiroxi

Really what you do is not that hard, if his happy enough for you to do that to him I'm sure he will want you to ask what he likes. Just be gentle and also I find trousers can get in the way making it more difficult.

Reply 7

Jaybee_CS

loving the pure innocence :biggrin:

Reply 8

befskulls

If it's new to the both of you maybe what you did had an effect on him and he was embarrassed or wasn't ready for it? If he didn't say anything about not being ready I'd got with embarrassed, but you have to talk to him. Like someone else has already said, if yo can't talk about it you're not really reasy for it.

Reply 9

MickeyG

To be honest, he probably came in his pants. Sorry to spoil all the innocence :smile:

How quaint...

haha was gunna say same as mickey G. Dont worry about it OP. Im sure the more u do it, the better it will be and def ask him how he likes it 2b done the nxt time the situation 'arises'!

Reply 12

Anonymous #5

Talk about it....untill people realise that good sex (and a good relationshp in any case) is all about communication now wonder you will feel that you "did it wrong", you have to be open...what is wrong with admitting you have no experience...he cant expect you to be an expert first time so dont try to be one or put too much pressure on yourself. Just be yourself, be inexperienced and young - its actually ok, and quite normal. If you dont know what do to ask him to help you, ask he what he likes, you dont have to feel bad about this - Communication is key so communicate, you may feel embarrissed but what is worse: going a bit red, or pretending you know what you are doing, whilst feeling uncomfortable and whilst he feels uncomfortable? If you want to "do it right" so to speak then talk to him!!!