The Student Room Group

Why does he always get angry?

Whenever my boyfriend and I disagree about something he seems to get really angry, getting stressed that I think a certain thing and not seeming to understand at all. When I am upset he gets angry about that and tells me not to cry, which just makes me feel worse because it seems like he doesnt care. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place - I can't pretend not to think or feel the things I do, but when they're different to what he thinks he gets angry. What can I do?
Reply 1
tell that to him, i mean not stright in you face kinda of thing, but tell him that i mean next time that happines tell him, "no im serious", "this isnt funny", "that really did hurt me" and "im not a kid that im going to cry"
i mean if he loves you he will understand and it could also mean he could be worried about something else other than little diagrement with you and may be able to bring it out during your fight
Reply 2
if i was you (and i am in exactly the same situation, drives me mad) id talk to him before summit liek this happens, so that he knows its not emotion fuelling what your saying, talk calmly about what upsets you about his behaviour, and then try to work to a solution
Anonymous
Whenever my boyfriend and I disagree about something he seems to get really angry, getting stressed that I think a certain thing and not seeming to understand at all. When I am upset he gets angry about that and tells me not to cry, which just makes me feel worse because it seems like he doesnt care. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place - I can't pretend not to think or feel the things I do, but when they're different to what he thinks he gets angry. What can I do?

He's gotta work on making sense of his feelings himself, before getting better as effectively communicating them with you. Pick a moment when he's not as mad as a fat kid whose supersized Happy Meal's been stolen to discuss how he feels when you two disagree about something.
Reply 4
Potentially, if you end up marrying this guy - he sounds like he will one day hit you over an argument. Basically, he's gonna get abusive as time goes by.

He must learn that people get upset, and he must learn that people will not always agree with him. If he gets angry cus you think different - what does he want? For you not to have a brain, not to think for yourself and simply obediently agree with everything he says? Yeh, then he'll be happy. But then that isn't you. If he only gets angry and tells you to stop crying then he obviously doesn't care.

Break up with him.
Reply 5
I disagree. Not all get worse as time goes on. He may just be going through a rough patch. Help him. Get counsilling etc.

Cheers,
Reply 6
Oh My God I Am In The Exact Same Situation!
Well he seems to get angry over just small disagreements, so maybe find out why he gets so angry, did he have a hard upbringing or something? might be worth telling him when he's calm that he does perhaps needs to see someone about him getting angry.