help! family problem!!

okay this isnt really my problem but my bf, i dont know what to do! in some way i feel as if i'm responsible for it, which i'm not but still.... the thing is that his mum and dad keep fighting, i mean its to due with some money borrowing whoch needed to be payed back, his father did pay it back however didnt let his mum know, now last night he told me that while both of us were on MSN, they started to fight, im not sure if its still got to do with the money but im very worried for him, i told him to get both this parents opinion's on the situation and me and him could come up with a solution, i just sent the mail off, (is a long distance relationship) i'm sorry if anyone think of this as a joke or not a big problem but it is, i really do need some help because i cant see him or his family suffer and i love all of them! please help, i'm almost in tears and really do need help, please!

Reply 1

generalebriety

You sound like you haven't really gone through any domestics before. The last thing you want to do in this situation is get your boyfriend to go round surveying his parents. In my experience you normally get "oh just **** off will you it's none of your business" or "I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I CAN'T STAND HIM". Interrogating them won't help... if anything it'll make the situation worse. How much money exactly? Surely the simple thing to do - if it is a small sum - would be for him just to pay it again, or for her to forget it. If it's a large amount, I'm sure the bank (I assume that's how he paid it if she didn't know) can corroborate this.

Essentially it's either a silly argument that's blown out of proportion or it's something that's escalated due to tension in the relationship - either way the amount you can help is minimal and I really do not suggest you get involved.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

well the money is about i million peasos, which is quite a lot, i know this isnt a big problem, but okay then maybe that idea isnt a good one with the intergation and stuff, but please if there anyother way to get them together it would surely help

Reply 3

generalebriety

Trust me, they're adults, and in their eyes you're kids, and adults don't want kids messing around in their lives. Leave them alone. If it's up to anyone to sort them out, it's your boyfriend, not you, but in the end, if adults want to split up, they will do so. But this does just seem to me like a silly little argument. Why can't they get the bank to corroborate what his dad's saying?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

its not as simple as that, i knw we are kids and stuff and i dont care if its my bf problem, the thing is they have through so much stuff i mean my bf was born after like 15 years of marriage and no way they are going to spilt, its not a common thing in my culture infact its kinda of like a sin to break up from a marrage that has lasted so long (yes, many of you will find that weird) and its not about the money either, its about the drifting apart so much, he's worried like hell and its messing up his studies, his parents are making things worse, ahh i dont know what to do, not that i can do anything but i seriosuly want to confort my bf at this time, please help and thanks generalebriety for replying!

Do nothing.

If it's a case of comforting him, I think the best you can do is be supportive for him. But I maintain that you shouldn't get involved. I doubt even he should be getting involved really.

Good luck, anyway. :smile: