Have you ever fallen for someone from a different culture/religion? Your experiences

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hi all

I just wanted to start a thread where people can share their experiences if they have been in this situation.

I was in a relationship, and fell hard and fast, for a guy who was muslim and from a family with a strong arab culture. Everyone warned me that it wouldn't work, that it was a bad idea to get involved with a muslim man but I ignored them. He was so nice and respectful to me at first, and I overlook the religious differences as he seemed open minded and didn't really practise the religion.

However, once his family found out about us, it was a little different. His mother was horrified that he was spending time with, what she called 'a European ****', and demanded him to answer her whether I was a virgin or not His father and siblings were ok-ish about it, but he asked if I would consider converting to Islam in the future. This is when I freaked out a little bit. He asked me to be more 'careful' about my 'open' clothes, feeling uncomfortable if my top showed a little cleavage or if my legs were out, and would say 'you can never wear that with my mother'. When we went swimming, and I would wear a bikini he would say things like 'I just imagine what my mum would say if she can see this'. I started to feel bad about who I was, and question whether I am 'cheap'.

This all scared me, and made me distance myself, which led to the relationship breaking down. I realised that maybe love can't overcome cultural differences. I didn't listen to anyone (what girl does though?), but now I know I can never involved myself in this heartbreak again. I am not against muslims though, I have muslim friends, but I can never date one again.

Anyone else have any experiences?
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username163729
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#2
Report 6 years ago
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Crossing the cultural boundaries can be difficult I get that. My parents are constantly dropping hints that I should be marrying a Chinese girl at some point in the future, and they make all sorts of wild claims about the inferiority of white women and the women of other races in general.

This said, it's not the most extreme it could be as they're relatively lenient all things considered, but it is pretty bad they'll make these comments whilst i'm dating a white British woman...

I think in general, it's relatively hard to get the approval of last generation adults of other cultures/religions. They've lived 50/60 years of their lives with the same ingrained thoughts and opinions of other races and religions, and it's going to be hard to convince them otherwise. If it makes you feel any better though, that mother sounds like a right *****. It is NOT acceptable for a mother to be calling you a 'European ****' on the grounds of your skin colour and religion.

Personally, I try not to get involved with religious women in general. As an atheist, I don't think I could handle the craziness in their views.
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Stickman
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Report 6 years ago
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Completely similar situation to you, except I'm British-Indian (brown), and my ex was British (white)

My relationship was found out about a year in, and my parents got so angry and demanded that I break up with her right away, telling me all the reasons of how girls like her are etc.. (they leave you when you need them most, they just play you essentially)... I completely ignored them and carried on for another year secretly.

Then low and behold, the situation came where my ex fell for a different guy and I didn't know about this for a few months and when she told me, it was all too late. She was essentially emotionally cheating on me, and she claims to not have done anything else, but I guess this kind of cheating is the worse.

She changed so much. Turned so cold towards me. As if she never even knew me and she just said I don't have any feelings for you anymore. In just a flash she said that. Turning a blind eye to the two years we were together (being each others' firsts for everything).

Now that I'm over her, there's not one person I hate more than her. All of this just made me think that I could never see this happening with a brown girl and that my parents were right completely. At the time I thought that this girl is the 'one' and even due to cultural differences, we'll make it through because she's not like other girls etc, but just got me thinking that in fact they're all the same. Just put me off white girls in terms of if I want anything serious with them. Sure other white girls may be different, but I'm done.
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