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Is it bad to feel like this?

I just need a few opinions on the way i feel right now. I have the most fantastic boyfriend ever and he makes me so happy, i am happier right now than i think i ever have been, but what makes me even happier is the knowledge that my ex still loves me. I know it is awful to be happy about someone elses misfortune and it is kinda misfortune cos he knows he can't have me. I guess its just the idea that it makes me feel desirable and wanted and i like to know that i m attractive guys other than my boyfriend, which makes me happy but occasionally i feel really bad that i am happy about my ex still wanting me. Don't get me wrong i really want him to move on and find someone new and be happy but is it really horrible that the cause of his unhappiness is making me so happy?

Reply 1

Redefined

There are obviously unresolved issues here. Yes it is wrong.

Reply 2

username47781

Why would you be so happy about your ex wanting you when you got a boyfriend, as law portal says there is clearly something unresolved here, if you love your boyfriend that much then there is no need to be in contact with your ex.

Reply 3

MickeyG

Yeh, being happy that your ex is in love with you is strange. I guess it might show you dont have feelings for him, because youre not upset by his misery. I dunno, its good to be happy about your ex loving you, should be awkward really. Sure its flattering, but theres a line.

Reply 4

Sazarina88

How often are you in contact with your ex?

I wouldn't necessarily agree with the others that say it is wrong. Being someone that's just come out a relationship myself, I know my ex found it very hard dealing with the break-up. It hasn't necessarily made me happy, I guess a part of me just thought that it was quite impressive that I could have that effect on him.

But coming back to your situation, you say that it makes you feel desirable and wanted knowing that your ex wants you, shouldn't you feel that way with your current boyfriend? I don't really think you should need the fact that your ex apparently still loves you to make you feel desirable.

How do you know he still loves you? Are you sure that perhaps he is just missing being in a relationship? Does he know what you've just said to us?

I think you really need to prioritise your thoughts - how is thinking about your ex going to benefit anyone? You can feel the same desirability in other ways. You say you want him to move on but I think it's you that needs to move on. Moving on doesn't necessarily mean finding a new boyfriend, it means moving on from your past relationship. You can be in a new relationship but still be thinking of your old one, which is what you are doing. Try and accept that you're in a relationship with this guy now and whatever your ex-boyfriend is feeling or thinking is irrelevant to you now.

Sarah

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I am not thinking about my old relationship and i'm not excessively thinking about my ex. I just met up with him a few times as friends, (yes my boyf knows and doesn't mind) I know he still loves me cos he told me. He means nothing to me anymore but a friend so don't tell me i still want him and don't tell me i don't love my current boyfriend.