Making new friends at University?

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Made in Tyrone
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As like everyone else, I want to make new friends at University - especially the people in my halls of residence.

I'm in the Clearing process right now, but I'm positive I'll get a spot at Uni come the 14th.

I've been going through a lot over the last 10 months of so, from getting savagel attacked to depression and a major feeling of isolation. But thankfully I'm quite over it all now, and am in a truly loving and caring relationship.

However, like others, making new friends in strange new places is a big deal for me. I don't suffer from social anxiety per say, because as soon as people start talking to me I'll be a social beast, but I guess it's me making the first moves which is difficult.


I also have trouble with trusting people too easily I think is partially what happened last year.

Is there anyone with some good advice on how to overcome these "anxieties" and how I can manage who I trust better?
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Hachik0
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Best thing you can do is to confront your fears, anxieties head on.

This is also an amazing video on 4 ways of letting go. In your case its letting go of your anxieties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USC5MJVZLy8
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VinnicombeDmv
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I'm also feeling really anxious towards the social aspect of Uni due to my social anxiety problems, but the other day I read two good tips that just might help you.

1. Keep your dorm room open during freshers week, it lets people know what you're open to conversation and willing to meet new people.
1-A. If doing 1, perhaps play some music to entice people to come in. Nothing too drastic, but not boring either. Play something from a band/group you like and hopefully someone will knock on your door asking "Is that <insert musical act here>?". You never know, might work.

2. (I'm still unsure about this one) Once you've become friendly with someone and chatted with them for a bit, you both could go around knocking on the dorm doors (together) and introducing yourselves. It might scare some people socially, but to those that it doesn't scare, it lets them know you're open to friendships.
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Reaalex
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in the situation where everybody you meet in halls and your course will be in the same boat of knowing no one. I imagine everybody will be making the effort to talk to each other so don't just think its you who will be stepping out of the comfort zone
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by Reaalex)
in the situation where everybody you meet in halls and your course will be in the same boat of knowing no one. I imagine everybody will be making the effort to talk to each other so don't just think its you who will be stepping out of the comfort zone
See I know that, but not everyone has been through the same stuff I have, have they? Of course I'll try my very best, like the other user said, I would leave my door open to other block mates, play music and at a push go with someone to meet the others ... But at the end of the day, I'm still me, this mentally broken 20 year guy who is extremely sensitive, who can't grasp the idea of sarcasm or bantering ....
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by Hachik0)
Best thing you can do is to confront your fears, anxieties head on.

This is also an amazing video on 4 ways of letting go. In your case its letting go of your anxieties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USC5MJVZLy8

What a great video indeed ... I'll watch the second half of it another day, but it was really insightful. Thanks
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Hachik0
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(Original post by Herry Bawl Sak)
What a great video indeed ... I'll watch the second half of it another day, but it was really insightful. Thanks
I watch many such related videos. Im not a Buddhist, not even a Lay Buddhist, but i have come to find that Buddhism speak a lot of sense.
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by Hachik0)
I watch many such related videos. Im not a Buddhist, not even a Lay Buddhist, but i have come to find that Buddhism speak a lot of sense.

Buddhist has always seemed to be the more philosophical religion out of all the religions in the world. Buddhism doesn't talk directly from a book, it talks from the mind - and that's what I like so much about it. I definitely feel differently when someone sends me a Buddhist video to when someone sends me a Christian video.
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jonnyh1994
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Or you might experience what I did. By that I mean flatmates who've already moved in, jump scare the life out of you whilst unpacking xD
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Hachik0
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(Original post by Herry Bawl Sak)
Buddhist has always seemed to be the more philosophical religion out of all the religions in the world. Buddhism doesn't talk directly from a book, it talks from the mind - and that's what I like so much about it. I definitely feel differently when someone sends me a Buddhist video to when someone sends me a Christian video.
I agree. Buddhism although defined as a religion isn't actually so because it does not believe in a God.

A lot of people like to refer to Buddhism as a Phycology rather than a religion. Another amazing thing that i love about Buddhism is that the Buddha taught others not to follow/believe in his words because they were his but because you agreed with what the Buddha taught.

The Buddha wanted others to make their mind up about what they thought right and what they thought wrong within ones owns mind and not simply because the Buddha said it.

I personally find it all very refreshing.
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by jonnyh1994)
Or you might experience what I did. By that I mean flatmates who've already moved in, jump scare the life out of you whilst unpacking xD

I don't mind that lol, I'd actually laugh myself to sleep
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UWS
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(Original post by Herry Bawl Sak)
As like everyone else, I want to make new friends at University - especially the people in my halls of residence.

I'm in the Clearing process right now, but I'm positive I'll get a spot at Uni come the 14th.

I've been going through a lot over the last 10 months of so, from getting savagel attacked to depression and a major feeling of isolation. But thankfully I'm quite over it all now, and am in a truly loving and caring relationship.

However, like others, making new friends in strange new places is a big deal for me. I don't suffer from social anxiety per say, because as soon as people start talking to me I'll be a social beast, but I guess it's me making the first moves which is difficult.


I also have trouble with trusting people too easily I think is partially what happened last year.

Is there anyone with some good advice on how to overcome these "anxieties" and how I can manage who I trust better?
I used to be super shy before I started uni, I couldn't talk to anyone without stalling the conversation after a minute. You're not alone here.

I've just finished the 2nd year and I'm more confident in approaching others and my social skills have improved 10 fold. The thing you should do is join a lot of societies. These people will have similar interests to you, so it won't be a problem meeting people.

Just enjoy yourself!
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by Hachik0)
I agree. Buddhism although defined as a religion isn't actually so because it does not believe in a God.

A lot of people like to refer to Buddhism as a Phycology rather than a religion. Another amazing thing that i love about Buddhism is that the Buddha taught others not to follow/believe in his words because they were his but because you agreed with what the Buddha taught.

The Buddha wanted others to make their mind up about what they thought right and what they thought wrong within ones owns mind and not simply because the Buddha said it.

I personally find it all very refreshing.
Buddhism is a lot less restricted too. I was born into a Catholic family, but ever since the age of 14, when I first started reading about Darwin and the Origin of species, I lost my faith in all that gobbledygook. However, Buddhism on the other hand just enlightens me, more so than school ever did.

Admiringly, I have watched and read about Buddhism in the past, but not enough it seems hahaa
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VinnicombeDmv
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(Original post by jonnyh1994)
Or you might experience what I did. By that I mean flatmates who've already moved in, jump scare the life out of you whilst unpacking xD
I'd actually like this :P Makes it really easy to start a conversation if you're the "victim".
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by UWS)
I used to be super shy before I started uni, I couldn't talk to anyone without stalling the conversation after a minute. You're not alone here.

I've just finished the 2nd year and I'm more confident in approaching others and my social skills have improved 10 fold. The thing you should do is join a lot of societies. These people will have similar interests to you, so it won't be a problem meeting people.

Just enjoy yourself!
And I'm sure I will. I think what happened to me last year was just bad luck.

I just can't wait to make new friends tbh, neither can I wait to join societies and go on cracking good nights lol!
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by VinnicombeDmv)
I'd actually like this :P Makes it really easy to start a conversation if you're the "victim".
Id find it hilarious lol
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Hachik0
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(Original post by Herry Bawl Sak)
Buddhism is a lot less restricted too. I was born into a Catholic family, but ever since the age of 14, when I first started reading about Darwin and the Origin of species, I lost my faith in all that gobbledygook. However, Buddhism on the other hand just enlightens me, more so than school ever did.

Admiringly, I have watched and read about Buddhism in the past, but not enough it seems hahaa
Of course, it does depend on what section of Buddhism you look into. For example Zen Buddhism is considered very different to that of Tibetan or Theravādan Buddhism.

Nonetheless they all follow the 8 Fold Path, 3 marks of existence ect.
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Made in Tyrone
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(Original post by Hachik0)
Of course, it does depend on what section of Buddhism you look into. For example Zen Buddhism is considered very different to that of Tibetan or Theravādan Buddhism.

Nonetheless they all follow the 8 Fold Path, 3 marks of existence ect.
I'd just learn from all the different sections of Buddhism tbh they can't all be that different.
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username1039383
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I'm starting uni too but in a slightly different situation as i'll be commuting. Everyone is going to be on the same boat anyway so i'm just going to join societies and just relax and enjoy my time at uni. Don't focus on making as many friends you can, just a few really good ones who will stick by you throughout the years and beyond
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Hachik0
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(Original post by Herry Bawl Sak)
I'd just learn from all the different sections of Buddhism tbh they can't all be that different.
No they are all pretty similar. Best thing to do is just pick up a book, watch a video/youtube ect.

Buddhism is great in helping all kinds of people, religious or not, it doesn't matter.
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