He slept with my best friend.. and then me Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
There's a guy I've been friends with for a long time. About 6 months ago, he said out of the blew he had feelings for me. Basically I responded with my reservations about how he had got with a lot of people i knew including my best friend in the past. He argued that that had been like 5 years ago when we were younger. Over the next few months I started to like him and thought I had been too harsh considering it had been such a long time ago.. Then on a night out we all went back to his, and while I was asleep he slept with my best friend again. She didn't know anything about him telling me he liked me. And she said she doesn't actually like him, it was just one of those things. Although I still didn't tell her anything about me liking him or what he had said.
Basically its a month later, and I got really drunk and ended up getting with him twice... I don't know what to do. Whether I can trust him, whether what he did was too wrong and I shouldn't be ok with it.. Whether I should tell my friend everything. I know the whole thing is such a bad idea but I feel like I want to see the best in him and believe that it could still work...
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Made in Tyrone
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#2
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Seems like both you and your best friend like this guy simultaneously. If you don't want any conflicts in the future, I'd suggest you move on from him.
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Georg Hegel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There's a guy I've been friends with for a long time. About 6 months ago, he said out of the blew he had feelings for me. Basically I responded with my reservations about how he had got with a lot of people i knew including my best friend in the past. He argued that that had been like 5 years ago when we were younger. Over the next few months I started to like him and thought I had been too harsh considering it had been such a long time ago.. Then on a night out we all went back to his, and while I was asleep he slept with my best friend again. She didn't know anything about him telling me he liked me. And she said she doesn't actually like him, it was just one of those things. Although I still didn't tell her anything about me liking him or what he had said.
Basically its a month later, and I got really drunk and ended up getting with him twice... I don't know what to do. Whether I can trust him, whether what he did was too wrong and I shouldn't be ok with it.. Whether I should tell my friend everything. I know the whole thing is such a bad idea but I feel like I want to see the best in him and believe that it could still work...
Technically he hasn't cheated on you because he asked you out and you said no (or 'no, not yet'). Credit to the guy, it is several months after he asked you as well, it is not as if it was the week after so you don't have much right to be annoyed at him. (Otherwise it's 'have your cake and eat it' syndrome, you don't want to date him but no one else can have sex with him)

As your friend pointed out, you can sleep with someone without wanting to go out with them. I would ask him whether he is still interested in a relationship and mention that you would be interested in going on a few dates to test the water. Unless you speak to him, you're not going to get any answers.

The best advice I was ever told was "More people search 'I wish I asked him/her out' than 'I wish I didn't'". I followed this advice, asked a guy I liked for months and he said no. Of course, I was devastated but I moved on with my life after a few tubs of ice-cream and some movie nights in with an anonymous actor. If I didn't ask, I would still fancy the guy and I wouldn't be looking elsewhere where I might have a chance of dating.

As for the girl, she said she doesn't like him. You're not a mind-reader so she can hardly be betrayed or annoyed at you if you do date. See what happens with the guy, then cross the bridge with the girl; one problem at a time.
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LJStudent
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Threesome?
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tonberry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There's a guy I've been friends with for a long time. About 6 months ago, he said out of the blew he had feelings for me. Basically I responded with my reservations about how he had got with a lot of people i knew including my best friend in the past. He argued that that had been like 5 years ago when we were younger. Over the next few months I started to like him and thought I had been too harsh considering it had been such a long time ago.. Then on a night out we all went back to his, and while I was asleep he slept with my best friend again. She didn't know anything about him telling me he liked me. And she said she doesn't actually like him, it was just one of those things. Although I still didn't tell her anything about me liking him or what he had said.
Basically its a month later, and I got really drunk and ended up getting with him twice... I don't know what to do. Whether I can trust him, whether what he did was too wrong and I shouldn't be ok with it.. Whether I should tell my friend everything. I know the whole thing is such a bad idea but I feel like I want to see the best in him and believe that it could still work...
lol

Also, he's gonna screw you over big time.
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