Not attracted to him, don't want to hurt him.

I met a boy (ok, I say boy, he's 23) a few weeks ago when we were out, and things sort of happened, and I've seen him twice since. Last Saturday when I wasreallydrunk, andhe looked after me and was really good to me.Then last night. It was the first time I've seen him sober, and I just really didn't click. It felt like being 15 again, everything was so awkward and weird. He couldn't kiss well; and wasn't learning very quickly!(I had to tell him I didn't like kissing with tongues because he was actually making me gag!!).

I really like him as a person, he's so so sweet. But, I'm not attracted to him. He knows I'm going away to uni very soon (End of the week!) and he knows how unlikely it is for us to ever be "together" so I don't think he's expecting that. Would it be wrong of me to see him again, and perhaps let anything happen? Even if I got nothing from it, I sort of feel like if I don't I'll hurt him cuz he'll feel rejected... Would it be wrong toseehim again and not tell him how I feel?

Reply 1

lukeitfc

Gotta tell him straight haven't you. No point eltting him think you like him, when it's obvious to me you don't

He won't be hurt, he hardly knows you.

Reply 2

Sazarina88

11

You don't necessarily have to see him again but I do think you should tell him how you feel. You don't necessarily have to tell him you don't like the way he kisses, just explain about the university situation and that you aren't attracted to him. Just because you're not, doesn't mean that somebody else won't be.

You only met a few weeks ago, it doesn't sound like you were really in a proper relationship but I think he should still know how you feel.

Sarah

Reply 3

Zafda

8

yep tell him straight.
i'm sure he won't be hurt that much if anything..

Reply 4

username47781

20

Tell him straight and if your not attracted to him then really i would not let anything happen.

Reply 5

dyslexic_banana

1

Sazarina88

You don't necessarily have to see him again but I do think you should tell him how you feel. You don't necessarily have to tell him you don't like the way he kisses, just explain about the university situation and that you aren't attracted to him. Just because you're not, doesn't mean that somebody else won't be.

You only met a few weeks ago, it doesn't sound like you were really in a proper relationship but I think he should still know how you feel.

Sarah

Personally, I don't see why you need tell him you aren't attracted to him; things like that can really dent a person's confidence. If you're going away to university, that's reason enough to give him; if not, you could also add in some rubbish about not being over an ex etc etc. I've been in a similar situation with a girl, and while saying I wasn't attracted to her would've been the honest thing to do, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I made something up.

To be honest, though, if he's not expecting anything, things shouldn't be too difficult; maybe he's not expecting anything, anyway. Probably best not to see him again, and if he asks you to do so, then you should stress that you don't think there's a future for the two of you, because of uni etc; then, whether or not you see him again is down to the two of you, but make sure it's on that proviso.

As I say, though, he might have confidence issues, so it might be the more sensitive thing to do not to stress the issue of a lack of attraction towards him, on your part; sounds like the university issue is reason enough, anyway.

Reply 6

Robcampo

6

the longer you let it go on for, the more attached he will get, thus causing much more hurt....

tell him as soon as poss...

Reply 7

Triplet1

13

Tell him as soon as poss its the only way, an by telling him soon you will hopefully stop him getting more attached to you.

:biggrin:

Not attracted to him, don't want to hurt him.

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