What to do... [seeing ex at uni after a summer break up]

Hey, i posted here a couple months ago and it helped quite a bit. I thought i'll come back and ask for help because my close mates got exams to do and i don't want to put my stress on them.

I can't find my old topic but basically my ex cheated on me and used me because i was at uni with her sharing the same modules and her bf at the time was back at home. I never knew she had a bf when we went out but i told her to go back to him but as he used to treat her extremly badly she would come back crying claiming that she loves me so when she split up with him, i dated her again. Well all along i'm 70% sure she never split with him but had a "break" so she could be with me and i doubt she ever loved me... this was my first proper gf and the first person i kissed and had sex with so i'm kinda still in love with her and would still take her back but she wouldn't go out with me now for some stupid reasons.

So what do i do when i see her at uni? Can someone predict her reactions for each of these actions... i know i should know them but i don't :s-smilie:

.

a) Ignore her
b) Talk to her but cut conversation short
c) Talk to her loads

By the way, she thinks i still love her and don't hate her but i do hate her and love her too. I dunno what to do, i feel differently every other hour, sometimes i'm happy for her, angry or want her back.

Thanks for anyone who helps :smile:

Reply 1

Seeks

d) act normal ?

Reply 2

username47781

I'd say A ignore her and also act normal like seeks says.

Reply 3

generalebriety

To be frank, **** her reaction. She's cheated on her boyfriend, pretended to split up with him, gone out with you, and effectively cheated on you too. I'm not surprised you can't stand her. At best, I'd be friends with her - ignoring her is bitchy and may result in her getting annoyed/upset and turning the thing into a big public slanging match. Talking to her loads will get her to do the opposite and treat you like ****, leading you on again. Just be friends with her, at the most.

She may be the first person you kissed or had sex with but that doesn't make her special. Learn from your mistake - she doesn't care about you or her boyfriend. Her loss - not yours.

Reply 4

sebbie

ultimately she has messed you around and the best thing you can do is ignore her till she finds you (don't ignore her face to face but dont go out looking for her) and then just explain to her you're not interested.... it's clearly going nowhere and you seem to just be her boyfriend away from home....

Reply 5

username47781

I would never be friends with an ex like that, she seems a very manipulative and horrible cow, i think she also just craves attention.

Reply 6

Seeks

Carl1982

I would never be friends with an ex like that, she seems a very manipulative and horrible cow, i think she also just craves attention.

I agree to that comment 100%, but I do think that it will be pointless to avoid her. Dont go out of her way, talk to her if you must just dont give her any hints, and if she tries anything, tell her where to shove it...

Reply 7

generalebriety

Carl1982

I would never be friends with an ex like that, she seems a very manipulative and horrible cow, i think she also just craves attention.

Didn't say they should be amazing friends or anything. I'd talk to her but not go looking for her. She'll get the idea. Point is, don't ignore her, it just looks bitchy and as if you want a fight, and that's possibly the worst way to have to 'get over' someone.

Reply 8

username47781

I guess it's better just to show your happy without her.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the replies. The only thing with acting normal is, it usually messes me up when it comes to her. Acting normal would me doing what i feel and that would probably be talk to her loads and like others have said, that'll make it worse. My ex's best friend said to her that she should come up to me and talk to me but not get into deep convo... so it looks like she'll come up to me at some point. Also, this girl never treated her current bf as bad as she treated me except the cheating bit. He don't know she cheated on him and probably would never find out. She sometimes is well sweet to him but treated me like ****. The worse thing was she had a miscarriage and didn't even care about it [it was mine]. So i guess she can be a bad person and she still went back to her bf :s-smilie:

So this may sound bad, but it would be good to do something that would make her want me and when she comes back it'll be my time to say no... as she used to come crying back to me many times before the summer holidays but the next time she does it i wont be interested and see how she likes it. Like when i found out she cheated on me, i drove 200 miles to see her and she turned me down in a harsh way and phoned her bf 10 seconds after i left and said i came all that way just to ask her out! I looked like a right loser, never again!

So should i pretend i'm really happy without her?

Oh yeah, she is the type to b1tch about people to get stuff out of her system so i'm gonna get a badname even though i didn't do anything wrong but i'm not gonna go to that level and b1tch so ignoring her to her face may mess me up.

Reply 10

Seeks

Anonymous

So should i pretend i'm really happy without her?

Yes, and hang around with your friends and try get her off your mind. Seriously dont try to talk to her but if she comes up to you just act normal.

Reply 11

MickeyG

Seriously she treated you like absolute crap and doesnt deserve you to be friendly to her.

So...take option 4. When she comes up to you, punch her in the stomach and then smash your knee in to her face. Bitch.