not in love after 6 months.?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hi,

So I have been dating a guy for quite a while and recently made it official. I like him a lot, care about him would do anything to make him happy. The problem is that I am starting to panic because I don't think I am in love with him yet. The beginning of our dating was a bit messy and complicated so I wonder whether it will just take more time. But the other part of me is freaking out a bit as its coming up to 6 months.

If I don't feel in love with him now will I ever? :-/
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suzannataylor
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I don't think you can put a time limit on love. Some people fall in love straight away and for some people it takes a lot longer. I knew my boyfriend for about 6 months before I knew I loved him, but we weren't properly together for that time.
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bittr n swt
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I think 6 months is too early. I've been in a relationship for almost 10 months and I'm still not in love. I guess I'm different...
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Nerol
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Didn't realise there was an expiration date on it. It's not like 'fall in love within 6 months or throw it out'. Calm down. It happens when it happens.
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kara1
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worrying about it will only make it worse.. live in the moment and enjoy yourselves for what it is now. you fall in love when you least expect it - not when you're wanting it to happen
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LolaLowe
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You could be with him forever and never fall in love, there is no hard and fast rule that you will definitely do so. If you are happy with him then be with him, if you are not then dont. Everyones ideas and expectations of being in love are different so dont be waiting to fell a particular way, just enjoy it for as long as its fun.
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MrDystopia
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You fall in love when you fall in love. There's no set time limit.
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guppygould
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What you're looking for is very loosely defined so it may take a long time, if it all!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MrDystopia)
You fall in love when you fall in love. There's no set time limit.
I dont want to be in a relationship in a year for example and not be in love with them. At what point does someone know when to rnd it if it hasnt happened.
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MrDystopia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I dont want to be in a relationship in a year for example and not be in love with them. At what point does someone know when to rnd it if it hasnt happened.
As you yourself said:

'I like him a lot, care about him would do anything to make him happy.'

Wouldn't that be reason enough to stay with him even if you weren't in love after 12 months?
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pickup
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This is a difficult one and I understand your concern.

The problem you're worrying about . no doubt, is ' what if I marry him, say, because I love him, value him, want to please him and then 'crash , bang, wallop, I fall in love ( but with someone else).

The everlasting problem.

Have you ever been in love? Do you know what it means? Will you be able to ignore it and still carry on with him? ( valuing your self worth more than love) Or, will you break his heart and leave him for a chance of 'happiness'. Or, will it be a case of a self inflicted wound from which you may never recover? In other words do you know how strong a character you are? How much you will stand by any promise you make to him? regardless. Or, are you in Napoleon's camp, ' all's fair in love and war.' ?

Have you told him you are in love with him/ or perhaps that you love him, but knowing that he will think you mean you are in love with him ? or skirted round it ..?

How brave are you? Are you prepared to tell him ( especially if you plan a long term relationship like marriage) that you are not in love with him?
I don't necessarily think no one should be a in a long term relationship without being in love but should you be honest with him and let him decide whether he is prepared to take the risk ?

I am always worried when people skip into relationships not having thought through the implications.
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joker12345
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Love can take time. I guess it depends on yourself as a person, if you've been in love and fall in love easily then you may as well end it. If you haven't, it might just take a while to be able to feel that way for the first time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pickup)
This is a difficult one and I understand your concern.

The problem you're worrying about . no doubt, is ' what if I marry him, say, because I love him, value him, want to please him and then 'crash , bang, wallop, I fall in love ( but with someone else).

The everlasting problem.

Have you ever been in love? Do you know what it means? Will you be able to ignore it and still carry on with him? ( valuing your self worth more than love) Or, will you break his heart and leave him for a chance of 'happiness'. Or, will it be a case of a self inflicted wound from which you may never recover? In other words do you know how strong a character you are? How much you will stand by any promise you make to him? regardless. Or, are you in Napoleon's camp, ' all's fair in love and war.' ?

Have you told him you are in love with him/ or perhaps that you love him, but knowing that he will think you mean you are in love with him ? or skirted round it ..?

How brave are you? Are you prepared to tell him ( especially if you plan a long term relationship like marriage) that you are not in love with him?
I don't necessarily think no one should be a in a long term relationship without being in love but should you be honest with him and let him decide whether he is prepared to take the risk ?

I am always worried when people skip into relationships not having thought through the implications.
Yeah I have been in love once. It ended very badly. Sometimes I feel like I love my boyfriend, but not in a crazy way that takes over me. He has never said that he loves me, and I don't think he does. Tbh I don't know the difference between being in love and loving a boyfriend.
Does there come a point where you know if you will or wont?
I know what you mean about getting into a relationship. But to date someone without being in a relationship seems too long.
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