Too Much of a Nice Guy

I know this sounds stupid but thats the problem for me in finding a girlfriend at my present age(17). I have found that all the good looking girls around are after the tosser's that would just want to go out to get hammered every friday and saturday night which is something I dont wanna do at this present time because I really coudnt be bothered to do that because it wouldnt be fun in my eyes but Im sure that would change going into upper sixth. I would call myself quite an attractive guy, Im slim (if that helps), polite, and trustworthy but for some reason that doesnt appeal to girls around me in work, school etc.

What is missing and thanks for any advice :tsr2:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

zav

Maybe they don't see anything particularly fun about your character? What do you do when the other guys are going out drinking?

Reply 2

lilac!!

okay yes very true, most girls like going after "bad boys"--there a thread about that if you want to have a look

anyway dont worry there are girls who like the trustworthy guys, there may not be one yet, but give it time and you will meet someone :smile:

in the mean time enjoy yourself, dont get too woriied about it :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Im most likely to be going to play snooker or badminton, going to the cinema or just stay in and watch some tv during nights at the weekend. I dont think its that they dont find me fun becuase i wud joke around and all that sort of thing with them its just that the ones I start to like maybe dont end up wanting to go out whereas the ones that I dont like end up trying to ask me out. Maybe I havent the confidence to take it furthur with the ones that I do like.

???????

Reply 4

abc137

Well i like nice guys but there doesn't seem to be very many around in my area unfortunately! You will find someone who likes you for who you are, don't worry! x

Reply 5

abc137

Oooh that was my 200th post! lol

Reply 6

lilac!!

to tell you the truth, i think its better staying the way you are, i mean relationships work better if you find someone who you like for you, i would so not worry about it, try asking sweetheartx ^^ she looks nice!! :p:

kiddin

Reply 7

matchu

Maybe its because you call people who go out at the weekend tossers, and therefore have no friends.

Just a maybe though

Reply 8

Kil-Kev

join the club mate, unfortunately we nice folk are boring, lol.

Reply 9

Juwel

To be quite honest, yes, deep down women want a caveman. The alpha male bad boys are able to satisfy women, and I mean give them what they really want, not what they say they want, not what society has programmed them to "want" in a man. Why? Well for one, it's because women are horny, just as much as men. They do a better job of hiding it. And two, from a evolution-based standpoint, the alpha-male's children stand a better chance of survival with a strong and strong-willed man for their father.

Reply 10

~the_one~

Thats complete bs. I never ever believe guys who think that they're to much of a nice guy, there just trying to make themselves feel better about the fact that they dont have a girlfriend.
You already mentioned that girls you dont like ask you out, so you're obviously not that much of a nice guy (using your assumtion that all girls like bad boys), maybe your just being fussy?
It's just life, you've got to deal with it, dont try and make yourself feel better buy telling yourself your too nice. Loads of people your age are single and i'm sure that there not all 'nice guys'.
Just be yourself, socalise, flirt, and if the girl who you like doesnt like you, well tbh theres nothing you can do about it, pick yourself up and move on, at least you've tried.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Not enough friends isnt a problem although the way its structured maybe affects it hence I wud do different things like golf or badminton with a few stuck guys and therefore am a round them alot. But if i decided to go to the niteclubs in my town i would have 3 differents friends(with their friends) after that i cud go out with but i just dont genuinely wanna go out to niteclubs which therefore means the only girls I see would be ones in work.

Thanks

Reply 12

Chumbaniya

matchu

Maybe its because you call people who go out at the weekend tossers, and therefore have no friends.

Just a maybe though

Oh yes, because everyone worth knowing likes to binge drink every weekend, and you couldn't possibly have any friends unless you were willing to get wasted as often as possible. Don't talk crap.

Reply 13

slk999

it sounds like you're 17 going on 30.

Reply 14

x-Ro-x

Not all girls are into bad boys (im not) - I think most girls are more attracted to a guys rebellious streak (which every guy has in them) but they also want a guy to be caring and kind at the same time. Tbh you dont really want to attact the type of girls that go after tossers anyway. Just be yourself, go with the flow and im sure you'll find the right girl soon enough. :smile:

Reply 15

bannanna_pancakes

yes, you have to be yourself. badboys arent attractive because they're bad, just because they are comefortable enough with themselves to not be afraid what people think, which makes them look bad. if you dont know and love yourself, you cannot know and love and girl. or a boy.

Reply 16

dazmanultra

You need to act more like an alpha male. Bad boys aren't attractive because they're bad - but rather they tend to have alpha male qualities such as leadership and confidence.

Reply 17

bannanna_pancakes

exactamundu. and if they are confident the sex will be better.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

why is it that some guys always whine about being "too nice" and that no girl will ever like them? Its cuz they are afraid of actually saying what they want.

that said, dont be an arsehole just for the sake of it. get out more, its actually a good laugh. And u dont need to get smashed evey time. u might learn something from the tossers too.

Reply 19

Pandy

Can't you go out for a drink (or not even to drink)? There's no need to get hammered every time you go out. Certainly beats sitting in at home.

edit: exactly what the guy above me just posted. You could learn from those who you brand as "tossers" (which you shouldn't really do just because you don't like their lifestyle. One could just as easily say you're a boring git for not going out and sitting watching films, for example).