Crossing the line

Have you ever told a friend you like how you feel about them?

Do you regret it?
Did things progress from there, stay the same or did the things go downhill?
Is it a good idea to cross the line and risk a friendship?

Reply 1

CAROLAL1

Original post by phunky_fresh

It's a good idea.
As long as you do it on time.

Reply 2

bittr n swt

Did it once never again. Telling a friend you like usually messes up the friendship. Yes sometimes they do work but sometimes it becomes to awkward to carry on.

Reply 3

ColouredTights

Has anyone else had experience with this situation? I have developed feelings for a friend I've know for a couple of years but really don't know whether I should tell him or not.

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Reply 4

UWS

Original post by ColouredTights

I wouldn't if you're close to him as friends. Usually a rejection results in the end of the friendship so be very careful. If you value your friendship too much then stay away. I made the mistake earlier this year... I had bad experiences as a result of that. It's not something I would recommend unless you are a risk taker and are willing to put your friendship on the line.

Reply 5

ColouredTights

Original post by UWS

Thanks! I suppose it's not the advice that I wanted to hear, but I'd much rather just have him as a friend than lose him forever. Would your advice be the same if I thought he showed interest in me in that way too, and mutual friends had also mentioned it?

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Reply 6

UWS

Original post by ColouredTights

You'd have to be almost 100% sure that he isn't just being a good friend and that he is interested in you romantically. It's quite easy to misinterpret signs when you have developed feelings for them. That's where I made the mistake. The girl I asked out was just being friendly and wasn't interested in me at all. We still talk but we're not as close as we once were.

If you are confident that he is interested in you, then I'd say go for it :smile:

Reply 7

ColouredTights

Original post by UWS

Oh, God! Sounds like I'm in the same boat that you were in then :frown:

It's so confusing! Would be a lot handier if your feelings never changed so you only ever saw them as a friend!!

Thanks though :smile:

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Reply 8

mollyxrose

I've been there before, told my best friend of a few years I had feelings for him and instantly regretted it. It completely changed the dynamics of our friendship and it quickly went downhill. We eventually just grew apart which was actually a good thing for me. It gave me the time and space I needed to move on, since you can't really get over someone if you're talking to them every day. It does still bother me that I lost a very good friendship because of it though.

As someone else has said, it's easy to misinterpret signs and almost convince yourself that they also have feelings for you. Only do it if you're 100% sure.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

AB25

Original post by phunky_fresh

If you're completely head over heels in love- then tell them. You've absolutely nothing
to lose in that situation. If, however, it's just a crush or a passing fancy, there is really no need to tell them. It'll pass and you'll keep your friendship intact

Reply 10

Quiet _One86

Been there done that on the other end of being told and it freaked me out as it came from nowhere and it came from their family not then to start with. That ended our friendship as I felt it was being built on lies and secrets. Taking years to come out and they had a partnership and I had mine at the time. It put a lot of doubt of us ever being real friends again as I didn't feel the same way!

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Reply 11

tsr_username01

i told a very close friend i liked them, still very close friends (probs even closer) but nothing more. although it still hurts like hell, im so lucky to still have such a good friend, and it was a relief to get it out in the open, so id say go for it

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