Losing touch with people

My old school friends are probably my best friends, but I'm always the one who has to message them first.
Two of my friends have been playing online games everyday for the past two months. I've asked them for a date they're free so we can hang out, and a month later I still get nothing. We're friends and they're not avoiding me, they want to meet up but they're too busy with their online world that nothing is going to get done.
I'm fed up of being the friend who texts them first or the one who keeps asking them just to pick a date. I've stopped for now, but I know I'm going to lose touch with them. That's not what I want, but I'm also pissed that they don't care enough to make the effort.

My other school friend is just as bad. I've made three plans with her too and she's cancelled last minute every time. Again, I'm always the one who makes the plans and texts first. She has apologised and said how much she wants to meet up but things keep getting in the way.
I'm sick of this too, as I've planned dates and left my days free only to have it cancelled the night before.

What would you do? They're three of my best friends and I don't have many. This summer has been lonely and boring because my friends don't hang out or meet up with each other.
Is it worth it to keep trying and arranging dates, or should I just give up and lose my friends?

(On my phone and it won't let me click on the friends section, sorry)

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Reply 1

xmertic

Original post by snowystarks

Say you'll make an effort to go to them to make it easier for them or engage in the online world... I'd go for the online world :wink:

Depending on the game it's questionably better hahaha! :smile:

Reply 2

snowystarks

Original post by xmertic

Say you'll make an effort to go to them to make it easier for them or engage in the online world... I'd go for the online world :wink:

Depending on the game it's questionably better hahaha! :smile:

Haha, it's league of legends and a dragon game where you breed and then battle..? But I like seeing them in person, it's not the same!
I always have to go to them anyway as they can't drive.

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Reply 3

xmertic

Original post by snowystarks

Oh, well those games suck. Avoid them :wink:

Well yeah just nag them, tell them to set aside a couple of hours for you or something :smile:

They'll meet you up at some point :smile:

Reply 4

Comeback

If people aren't making an effort to stay in contact with you, it's normally a sign that they're not the amazing friend you think they are/were.

I think it's important to always keep a door open for people like that, as it shows you have a good character, but not to waste your life chasing them.

The best friends you make in life are the ones that notice when you're not talking to them for a while and do something about it. You sound like that kinda person, they don't. Don't worry about it, and start building new bridges with new people.

That's my two cents.

Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 5

sliceofcake

I was in a similar position to you a few years ago. I thought we were all really close but it seemed effort just died. I thought 'that's it, I won't bother anymore'. It's the perfect way to make sure you don't hear from them again. It's up to you, your friends are a bit lazy with your friendship, if you want to keep it going then it's worth constantly making the effort. It doesn't matter who initiates it, as long as it happens.

Reply 6

_rainbow

With distance, friendships can sometimes fizzle out leaving you wondering what the heck happened. It's happened to me too many times to even count. I haven't spoken to one of my so-called best friends in almost a year now, but that's a whole different story (some people just change and that's a fact of life).

But in regards to your situation, your friends are very obviously addicted to these games (and I can't blame them either...those games ARE addictive) so it's kind of one of those "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" scenarios. But reality > virtual reality, as you already know, but if they're resisting your attempts at trying to meet up with them then maybe it's time to just give it a rest for awhile and let them come to you. If they don't come to you, then maybe that will be a wake up call to know who your real friends are.

It happens, and it hurts (I know) but it's better to find out now than later.

Reply 7

TroyAndAbed

I don't see/speak to my old school friends all that much because life gets in the way but whenever we're home from uni we do make the effort to meet up. Maybe ask them when they're free/what they want to do so the ball's in their court? Then you know you've made the effort & it's up to them.

Reply 8

Ziesha0045

I guess you need to focus more on yourself as they're busy with their so called works and you need to move on with your work and if there's a need of passing time, I think you should indulge yourself in hobby work.

Reply 9

snowystarks

Original post by TroyAndAbed

First of all I love your name :smile:

I've decided to give up one one friend as she's cancelled three times in a row and I'm exhausted trying to be friends with someone who isn't making an effort back.

With my other friends, I asked when they were free but nothing's happened since. Maybe I'll wait until the end of summer and see if it's just me who's making the effort.

Thank you (and to everyone) for the replies :smile:

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