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    I'm experiencing some severe problems in academic and personal life and feel like my performance is being severely affected.

    I'm 18 and I've been in severe depression for a long time now and it's actually now higher than it's ever been, a large part of it is due to social anxiety and being an introvert. I'm coming grips to it and don't have the same level of anxiety as I did before - I've had severe difficulty making or maintaining conversation with people, I'm slightly overweight and have virtually no self confidence in myself. I've become better over the last year or so as in now I'm able to talk to women a bit and have made a few female friends without completely going red and sweaty. But I'm still always the quiet one which can barely make conversastion with anyone on his own. I've never had any girl take interest in me, never been kissed, had a girlfriend or anything. I think a large part of this is due to my childhood upbringing and moving country and moving schools virtually constantly so I never really talked to anyone and my parents being from the middle east - I was always trying to avoid speaking or being in contact with girls especially around them but now they've turned more western - my mum's no longer a muslim and my parents are adopting a western attitude - I now openly drink quite heavily and my parents are cool with it.

    Academically I used to excel at studies! For my GCSEs I got one of the highest grades in my school and my school is supposed to be one of the best performing grammar schools where I live. I managed to achieve 8A*s,5A, 1B and a distinction. When I started AS levels I started to struggle academically, my depression started and I barely could understand anything we were taught. For GCSE in chemistry and I got full UMS in every single module and came top in our year and in AS for chemistry it seemed like nothing was going into my head! I ended up with the worst possible chemistry teacher who finished her classes 20-30 minutes early and never put any effort in her teaching. I also developed a mental block in my other classes, I was easily distracted and couldn't stay focused on my work. And I completely messed up my ASs and ended up having to self learn most of them by cramming and I managed to achieve AABC at AS! This year I successfully managed to gain a place for Medicine and Neuroscience at my two dream unis and I worked harder than I've ever worked in my life. I cut down on my sleep, life and everything to meet my offers and come results day - I missed out on my dream by achieving BBB which I don't understand because I was expecting at least A*AB in the worst case scenario - I tried clearing to go for graduate medicine because Medicine is my biggest dream and every place I try I got rejected. I wanted to take a gap year but my parents said that I have to go to university this september and they don't care where it is - I have to go to any university I can get even if it's somewhere that i won't be happy with. I got into Birkbeck for biomedicine which I'm happy with but I'm still constantly being put down! All the people I know are studying at top unis like King's, Warwick, Oxford, Imperial, Cambridge, Bath and the problem is that in the past I used to be on the same level as some of them academically or in some cases better.

    I've been having severe mental blockages and inability to think properly lately and I don't know if it's to do with depression - I struggle to do simple tasks and people have started noticing things - it's to the point that I'm feeling I have some kind of learning disability - I started a job and I was asked to leave the unit because I couldn't understand how it works - this is a place where the people working have never been to school and in most cases can't even speak English - I did eventually get fired after my second day for telling my manager to f*** off!

    Yesterday after results my dad said to my mum when I wasn't around how her upbringing is the reason behind a failed son and he also has put me down a lot and how i've disappointed him and stuff.

    I wanted to get professional help but that'll mean talking to my parents about it which I don't want to and they won't let me probably and I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone in person about this. I had to write this post just to get it out of the way
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm experiencing some severe problems in academic and personal life and feel like my performance is being severely affected.

    I'm 18 and I've been in severe depression for a long time now and it's actually now higher than it's ever been, a large part of it is due to social anxiety and being an introvert. I'm coming grips to it and don't have the same level of anxiety as I did before - I've had severe difficulty making or maintaining conversation with people, I'm slightly overweight and have virtually no self confidence in myself. I've become better over the last year or so as in now I'm able to talk to women a bit and have made a few female friends without completely going red and sweaty. But I'm still always the quiet one which can barely make conversastion with anyone on his own. I've never had any girl take interest in me, never been kissed, had a girlfriend or anything. I think a large part of this is due to my childhood upbringing and moving country and moving schools virtually constantly so I never really talked to anyone and my parents being from the middle east - I was always trying to avoid speaking or being in contact with girls especially around them but now they've turned more western - my mum's no longer a muslim and my parents are adopting a western attitude - I now openly drink quite heavily and my parents are cool with it.

    Academically I used to excel at studies! For my GCSEs I got one of the highest grades in my school and my school is supposed to be one of the best performing grammar schools where I live. I managed to achieve 8A*s,5A, 1B and a distinction. When I started AS levels I started to struggle academically, my depression started and I barely could understand anything we were taught. For GCSE in chemistry and I got full UMS in every single module and came top in our year and in AS for chemistry it seemed like nothing was going into my head! I ended up with the worst possible chemistry teacher who finished her classes 20-30 minutes early and never put any effort in her teaching. I also developed a mental block in my other classes, I was easily distracted and couldn't stay focused on my work. And I completely messed up my ASs and ended up having to self learn most of them by cramming and I managed to achieve AABC at AS! This year I successfully managed to gain a place for Medicine and Neuroscience at my two dream unis and I worked harder than I've ever worked in my life. I cut down on my sleep, life and everything to meet my offers and come results day - I missed out on my dream by achieving BBB which I don't understand because I was expecting at least A*AB in the worst case scenario - I tried clearing to go for graduate medicine because Medicine is my biggest dream and every place I try I got rejected. I wanted to take a gap year but my parents said that I have to go to university this september and they don't care where it is - I have to go to any university I can get even if it's somewhere that i won't be happy with. I got into Birkbeck for biomedicine which I'm happy with but I'm still constantly being put down! All the people I know are studying at top unis like King's, Warwick, Oxford, Imperial, Cambridge, Bath and the problem is that in the past I used to be on the same level as some of them academically or in some cases better.

    I've been having severe mental blockages and inability to think properly lately and I don't know if it's to do with depression - I struggle to do simple tasks and people have started noticing things - it's to the point that I'm feeling I have some kind of learning disability - I started a job and I was asked to leave the unit because I couldn't understand how it works - this is a place where the people working have never been to school and in most cases can't even speak English - I did eventually get fired after my second day for telling my manager to f*** off!

    Yesterday after results my dad said to my mum when I wasn't around how her upbringing is the reason behind a failed son and he also has put me down a lot and how i've disappointed him and stuff.

    I wanted to get professional help but that'll mean talking to my parents about it which I don't want to and they won't let me probably and I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone in person about this. I had to write this post just to get it out of the way
    Hi

    It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. With everything that has been going on with your mood at the moment you have done amazingly well in your A2s. It doesn't sound to me like going to Uni this year is your best option. Do you know why your parents are so insistent that you have to go this year? It does sound like you would benefit from getting some help with the problems that you have been having. Could you go and see your GP? There is no reason that your parents would have to know and they might be able to give you some help with how you are feeling.
    • #1
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    (Original post by randdom)
    Hi

    It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. With everything that has been going on with your mood at the moment you have done amazingly well in your A2s. It doesn't sound to me like going to Uni this year is your best option. Do you know why your parents are so insistent that you have to go this year? It does sound like you would benefit from getting some help with the problems that you have been having. Could you go and see your GP? There is no reason that your parents would have to know and they might be able to give you some help with how you are feeling.
    thanks! Makes me feel a bit better! I have felt a bit better after getting a clearing place in biomedical science. And thanks regarding my A2s!

    They think that if I take a year out I may be put off studying or find it difficult adjusting to study again afterwards.

    I wanted to go to a GP for antidepressants but I am sometimes a little bit embarrassed talking to my doctor about these things but I'll give it a shot!

    Thank you so much for your help
 
 
 
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