Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    i have no idea how to make friends at uni. I'm going into second year and I have one friend who also has a group of friends of his own. I felt like most people I spoke to already had their friends and a lot came from the same school etc. and no matter what I done, nobody was really interested.

    I feel like such a failure because I thought it would be easy but I genuinely spend all day going about myself and I hate myself for it. I have friends from school but I'd like to have other friends too, ones that I can relate to about uni things and have lunch with etc.

    Now that I'm not in first year, it just feels too late and idk what to do. I'm not awkward or anything, I do make conversation and I try to like make friends as in ask to meet up before classes and things but it just doesn't work.. Any advice?
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Just forget about it and focus on your studies. I remember posting on TSR anonymously 2 years ago about the same topic and I didn't get any helpful replies. So I just told myself "F- it" and never looked back. Going through uni with 0 friends is definitely possible.

    (I even packed lunch every day so that I didn't have to order it in a canteen or anything. Yes there were times when I had to talk, and people seemed shocked with my way of life when they asked but they can't change me, I am most satisfied with my zero social life and I wish to remain that way even after I graduate and enter the workforce)
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have no idea how to make friends at uni. I'm going into second year and I have one friend who also has a group of friends of his own. I felt like most people I spoke to already had their friends and a lot came from the same school etc. and no matter what I done, nobody was really interested.

    I feel like such a failure because I thought it would be easy but I genuinely spend all day going about myself and I hate myself for it. I have friends from school but I'd like to have other friends too, ones that I can relate to about uni things and have lunch with etc.

    Now that I'm not in first year, it just feels too late and idk what to do. I'm not awkward or anything, I do make conversation and I try to like make friends as in ask to meet up before classes and things but it just doesn't work.. Any advice?
    What happened to the guys from your halls?

    What about some people from your course or from some kind of club or society that you have gone to the uni bar and got messy with a few times?

    No?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    What happened to the guys from your halls?

    What about some people from your course or from some kind of club or society that you have gone to the uni bar and got messy with a few times?

    No?
    I don't and didn't live in halls which is why I have this issue.. My course was very chaotic first year as it had 6 different subjects you could take and it was hard to find people doing the same subjects at the same time. I was part of a society but because I lived at home, I couldn't hang around till 8 every night to meet them when I finished at 2pm those days. I probably should have and I recognise that though.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have no idea how to make friends at uni. I'm going into second year and I have one friend who also has a group of friends of his own. I felt like most people I spoke to already had their friends and a lot came from the same school etc. and no matter what I done, nobody was really interested.

    I feel like such a failure because I thought it would be easy but I genuinely spend all day going about myself and I hate myself for it. I have friends from school but I'd like to have other friends too, ones that I can relate to about uni things and have lunch with etc.

    Now that I'm not in first year, it just feels too late and idk what to do. I'm not awkward or anything, I do make conversation and I try to like make friends as in ask to meet up before classes and things but it just doesn't work.. Any advice?

    I'm in the same predicament and I'm shocked. I have been popular and likeable my whole life. I am outgoing, bubbly and confident and am usually the life and soul of the party (without blowing my own horn). Anyway, I went to uni at 20. I moved into halls and thought it would be party a minute. I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't make a single friend in halls. In fact, I couldn't stand any of the people that I met. They were so childish and very different from me.
    As for my course, I'm a business student and there must have been 500+ people on my course last year. I found it nearly impossible to make friends with people in a lecture environment. It was like silence in the lecture and then everyone would leave. I made acquaintances with two girls from uni - one has gone to Aus and one isn't on my course so I won't be seeing them next year. I joined the cheerleading squad but I didn't make any friends from that as it was extremely cliquish.
    I am surprised and disappointed at how it's worked out, to be honest. I thought I would have made friends, and it made me question why I hadn't actually made friends. Is it me? I don't know.
    At the end of the day, I'm at university for a degree. I have to keep reminding myself of that, otherwise I'd probably be gutted at my experience so far.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Join a society or a sports club!
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    If you don't mind me asking, are these uni's in London? I heard from a friend that the London unis are harder to make friends as everyone has there own group already.

    You know it depends on confidence, you just have to get in there, prove that you aren't invisible...
    And if people end up ignoring you its there loss, and remember you're there to mainly gain your degree. Plus you are still young, so you will also end up making friends in future (such as your future job).

    Bear in mind I know someone who had A LOT of friends in uni, and years later he doesn't talk to most of them...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by imconfused)
    If you don't mind me asking, are these uni's in London? I heard from a friend that the London unis are harder to make friends as everyone has there own group already.

    You know it depends on confidence, you just have to get in there, prove that you aren't invisible...
    And if people end up ignoring you its there loss, and remember you're there to mainly gain your degree. Plus you are still young, so you will also end up making friends in future (such as your future job).

    Bear in mind I know someone who had A LOT of friends in uni, and years later he doesn't talk to most of them...
    No, scotland lol. And I wouldnt even mind that, I just don't wanna go through uni alone, I have other life long friends from school and things.


    (Original post by ldsbabe)
    I'm in the same predicament and I'm shocked. I have been popular and likeable my whole life. I am outgoing, bubbly and confident and am usually the life and soul of the party (without blowing my own horn). Anyway, I went to uni at 20. I moved into halls and thought it would be party a minute. I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't make a single friend in halls. In fact, I couldn't stand any of the people that I met. They were so childish and very different from me.
    As for my course, I'm a business student and there must have been 500+ people on my course last year. I found it nearly impossible to make friends with people in a lecture environment. It was like silence in the lecture and then everyone would leave. I made acquaintances with two girls from uni - one has gone to Aus and one isn't on my course so I won't be seeing them next year. I joined the cheerleading squad but I didn't make any friends from that as it was extremely cliquish.
    I am surprised and disappointed at how it's worked out, to be honest. I thought I would have made friends, and it made me question why I hadn't actually made friends. Is it me? I don't know.
    At the end of the day, I'm at university for a degree. I have to keep reminding myself of that, otherwise I'd probably be gutted at my experience so far.
    Yeah I'm a business student as well, we get a rough deal with this i think haha! True, I came for a degree but I also wanted to make new friends and get the right experience - but I know there is no 'right' experience and I know it's down to my confidence but I actually am more confident in uni than anywhere else despite this. I think I'm going to join more clubs etc this coming year or something, get involved more
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ldsbabe)
    I'm in the same predicament and I'm shocked. I have been popular and likeable my whole life. I am outgoing, bubbly and confident and am usually the life and soul of the party (without blowing my own horn). Anyway, I went to uni at 20. I moved into halls and thought it would be party a minute. I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't make a single friend in halls. In fact, I couldn't stand any of the people that I met. They were so childish and very different from me.
    As for my course, I'm a business student and there must have been 500+ people on my course last year. I found it nearly impossible to make friends with people in a lecture environment. It was like silence in the lecture and then everyone would leave. I made acquaintances with two girls from uni - one has gone to Aus and one isn't on my course so I won't be seeing them next year. I joined the cheerleading squad but I didn't make any friends from that as it was extremely cliquish.
    I am surprised and disappointed at how it's worked out, to be honest. I thought I would have made friends, and it made me question why I hadn't actually made friends. Is it me? I don't know.
    At the end of the day, I'm at university for a degree. I have to keep reminding myself of that, otherwise I'd probably be gutted at my experience so far.
    Essentially my degree was IT and Business Management. I found the Business Management people so much more friendly and outgoing. Definitely more outgoing, I suppose it can be cliquey. That being said, a large portion of my "uni friends" are up north or scattered around the country which makes it difficult to arrange things.

    I did a placement so spent a year "out of university", basically back in London. That really highlighted my actual friends, who made the effort to keep in touch and not just speak to me because I was in the same course/area etc.

    Sadly, after graduation, you just lose touch with people. But for those still at university, I guess it's just striking up conversations and see where it ends.

    People talk about uni being "the best time of your life", it makes me think when I reflect on that..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Student10000)
    Essentially my degree was IT and Business Management. I found the Business Management people so much more friendly and outgoing. Definitely more outgoing, I suppose it can be cliquey. That being said, a large portion of my "uni friends" are up north or scattered around the country which makes it difficult to arrange things.

    I did a placement so spent a year "out of university", basically back in London. That really highlighted my actual friends, who made the effort to keep in touch and not just speak to me because I was in the same course/area etc.

    Sadly, after graduation, you just lose touch with people. But for those still at university, I guess it's just striking up conversations and see where it ends.

    People talk about uni being "the best time of your life", it makes me think when I reflect on that..
    Yeah, that's like the people who say your school days are the best... I smell bs. Life begins after you leave education I think, suss out who your friends are and have the freedom to do things. And I think it's easier if you're in a course/at college where you're in 'classes' with the same people a lot so you get to know them - like in school. I shall just continue talking away to people and things, see what happens lol
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 16, 2014
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.