Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 6 months - we basically started dating when we first met. It did move very fast to begin with, but we were both comfortable with it, and I see him as end game. We've talked about a future together, and we both know about each others finances/lifestyles. We definitely trust each other and I feel like our relationship probably will last the test.

    I'm 21 and he's 23. I graduated in July, he works full-time as a journalist. I had to move away from my university town and now am seeing him about once a fortnight, but we probably spend 4/5 days together when I do see him. When I was at uni, we basically had moved in together before I left, we stayed at each others every day/night.

    He's now asked me to move in with him. We've had all the logistic conversations, and it would work best if I'd have a full-time job and then we moved in together. We both had reservations about potentially rushing our relationship too much, but honestly, being apart from each other isn't the best. There's nothing really for me in my home town, all my friends have moved away and there's no jobs. It really does seem best to move back near him anyway.

    I need to tell my parents, but they are catholic, and view living together before marriage as pretty bad. I'm not going to move in with him straight away, but am focusing my job hunt in that area with the aim of living with him.

    I know my parents aren't going to be cool with this, but does anyone else think this might be a poor choice? We're both adults now, and if anything, won't it just make or break our relationship? I'll have my own bedroom and space, so it won't get too much!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly, my boyfriend and I practically lived together about 2 days after meeting each other. We got an actual house together about 3 months ago. Best thing ever. I love it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ldsbabe)
    Honestly, my boyfriend and I practically lived together about 2 days after meeting each other. We got an actual house together about 3 months ago. Best thing ever. I love it.
    Can I ask how long you've been together now? We've practically lived together before, but I feel like getting somewhere together will make it official, and then my parents will FREAK
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I ask how long you've been together now? We've practically lived together before, but I feel like getting somewhere together will make it official, and then my parents will FREAK
    We've been together 11 months
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Me and my boyfriend practically lived together after around 3 months. I'd just left university due to health reasons, and I had to stay with him and his parents while my bedroom was redecorated and re-furnished. We're still inseparable, and we celebrate our 2nd anniversary next month

    I'd say think about it. In terms of your parents' Catholicism, just because they view living together before marriage as bad, doesn't mean that you do. Only you know what's best for yourself
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I essentially moved in with my bf after our first date

    Not intentionally but as we were LDR he would come to my town friday night - sunday and then sunday night we would drive to his and I would stay until tuesday morning when I would get the train back to my uni town. (I only had classes wednesday and friday)

    When my classes finished in june we'd been together 6 months, and I moved up to his. By November we had to move for his work (military) and rented a flat. By the next September we'd bought a house.

    Id say dont put all your eggs in one basket (I could have moved home to my parents at any pount if worst came to worst) but if youre pretty settled, you spend enough time together to understand annoying habits etc....go for it! 6 months, 12 months, 18months...totally depends on the couple. We just never looked back, or really questioned it at all.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by fredscarecrow)
    I essentially moved in with my bf after our first date

    Not intentionally but as we were LDR he would come to my town friday night - sunday and then sunday night we would drive to his and I would stay until tuesday morning when I would get the train back to my uni town. (I only had classes wednesday and friday)

    When my classes finished in june we'd been together 6 months, and I moved up to his. By November we had to move for his work (military) and rented a flat. By the next September we'd bought a house.

    Id say dont put all your eggs in one basket (I could have moved home to my parents at any pount if worst came to worst) but if youre pretty settled, you spend enough time together to understand annoying habits etc....go for it! 6 months, 12 months, 18months...totally depends on the couple. We just never looked back, or really questioned it at all.

    Posted from TSR Mobile

    You only had classes wednesday and friday? Did you study part time?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Have you thought about renting a two bed place and having 'your own seperate rooms' for when the parentals visit?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
    #2

    Go for it, although one does also risk the chance of not actually enjoying living with their BF/GF because they are not fun/enjoyable to live with. This can range from your significant other living like a slob to have annoying habits. That can ruin a relationship, but as I said at the start, go for it. Biggest regret one can have is not taking a chance
    Offline

    16
    I need to tell my parents, but they are catholic, and view living together before marriage as pretty bad. I'm not going to move in with him straight away, but am focusing my job hunt in that area with the aim of living with him.
    that's a starting point, don't want to fall out with them over this. But perhaps look at the options of living nearby, or getting your own place, and take it in turns to spending time together to start with. I know it might not seem cost effective but its definitely worth seeing how each other live without the full on commitment.

    Have you thought about renting a two bed place and having 'your own seperate rooms' for when the parentals visit?
    sounds like a good idea, that way you live together but are "room mates" that sleep in separate rooms to your parents, and then you can say that you'd only ever share the room when they are over or anyone is staying over to keep things like when you'd stay over at each others.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dr Alcoholic)
    You only had classes wednesday and friday? Did you study part time?
    No - many masters are only a few days a week. My course in particular was geared towards people currently in work, so its designed to fit with a full time/part time job depending on how you worked.

    Mind you, in my undergrad in my third year (history) I only had monday afternoons, tuesday morning and friday all day, so probably less overall contact time!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 31, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.