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    I had close friends in high school but we've grown apart and now I haven't got any friends. I wish I had a group of friends who I went out with and told my secrets and problems to without feeling judged. All I do is stay at home on my the internet I'm starting uni soon and I heard uni is a great place to make friends. I'll be commuting so this may hinder my efforts but idk. What should i do?
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    make lots of effort to talk to people and start inviting people out once u know them relatively well
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    (Original post by ThoughtIsFree)
    make lots of effort to talk to people and start inviting people out once u know them relatively well
    I'll try
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had close friends in high school but we've grown apart and now I haven't got any friends. I wish I had a group of friends who I went out with and told my secrets and problems to without feeling judged. All I do is stay at home on my the internet I'm starting uni soon and I heard uni is a great place to make friends. I'll be commuting so this may hinder my efforts but idk. What should i do?
    Hey OP

    I was in a similar position to you at the start of university. I did make a lot of friends in my halls but there are lots of other ways. Try and get involved in lots of societies and attend their socials. Also, be friendly and open on your course, especially in early classes. Depending on the uni, your course/ faculty might also have socials which you should attend. I'd say with the societies it's good to look for people with similar interests to you.
    Best of luck! I think you should be just fine! If you say your university I may be able to give more specific advice on socialising at that type of uni. For example, I go to a large, city based uni. But the above advice should apply to most unis. Feel free to PM me if you think it could help
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    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    Hey OP

    I was in a similar position to you at the start of university. I did make a lot of friends in my halls but there are lots of other ways. Try and get involved in lots of societies and attend their socials. Also, be friendly and open on your course, especially in early classes. Depending on the uni, your course/ faculty might also have socials which you should attend. I'd say with the societies it's good to look for people with similar interests to you.
    Best of luck! I think you should be just fine! If you say your university I may be able to give more specific advice on socialising at that type of uni. For example, I go to a large, city based uni. But the above advice should apply to most unis. Feel free to PM me if you think it could help
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    Your situation might be similar to mine & through experiences I've had, I'd say no, it won't change. I apologise in advance for the negativity but I often overthink in these kinds of situations and I cause myself hurt & upset thinking "what if?" and "why?"

    If you asked if I've ever had friends, the answer is yes. Except the "close friends" I had in high school were in different years, apart from 2 that were in the same year as me. I find it really hard to make or keep friends, especially those who are the same age as myself. I have no problems talking to people & I am always friendly to everybody; I have been told I'm really caring, kind, loving etc. (I really struggle to understand why I have no friends if everybody's opinions of me are complimentary). I also thought it might have something to do with the fact I long to have friends so I push the potentials away because I'm too "full-on," meaning I want to build up the friendship really quickly & it's too much, too soon, too fast.

    College slightly improved the situation but after I left, I was back to square one. Again, I had a few friends, but now I had some in the same year. I met my ex-boyfriend at college (he was in the year above). We had been best friends for a long time before making the decision to get together. We don't talk anymore as I no longer trust him. We were only together for 3/4 months & I got with the love of my life very quickly after the split. I met my boyfriend at McDonalds, which is where we work together. We had been best friends for 6 months before we made it official & we had already dated for 3 weeks. It's now been the best 3 years of my life.

    I left college & moved on to university, hoping that I could finally blend in. I didn't keep in touch with anybody. All of my friendships faded. (Did I mention that I have some trust issues, as well? I only trust my family & my boyfriend). There were only a handful of girls on my course & for the first few weeks, I had about 5/6 friends who would all hang out together (only one of which was a girl). We soon stopped talking because the girl dated one of the guys & then they fell out after breaking up so the group basically fell apart. This girl was pretty much the foundation of this friendship group.

    I soon realised the reason why I don't fit in. I'm not ridiculously intelligent (I have a job that can offer me lots of extra hours so I don't have lots of time to complete additional & optional pieces of work) & many of the people in my classes share work together. There's a few who I would call snobby as they won't help me but they will help others & they look down their noses when I struggle (even though it's a hard course). I guess it's also because I don't want to hang around with lots of guys.

    The only friends I've made are those at McDonalds & at my local stage society. I connected with these people. We have the same wants, needs, likes, dislikes & we all know we're equal.

    So, I guess the conclusion is: I never had true friends (until now) & the only ones who mean anything to me are those I work with & therefore, have kept in touch with & will continue to do so & those I met through my hobbies & interests.

    P.S. My friends are all younger or older. I don't have friends the same age as me as we just don't get along. I'm considered to be mature for my age, which is why I connect well with those in their mid-to-late-20's. My boyfriend is 28 & my best friends are 38 & 21.

    Hope this helps.
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    Only if you try.

    But then again, I tried and all I got was humiliation. Now I accept that it's impossible and I am happy by oneself. 0 friends doesn't mean you can't do even the least bit to survive (like going to a grocery shop)
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had close friends in high school but we've grown apart and now I haven't got any friends. I wish I had a group of friends who I went out with and told my secrets and problems to without feeling judged. All I do is stay at home on the internet I'm starting uni soon and I heard uni is a great place to make friends. I'll be commuting so this may hinder my efforts but idk. What should i do?
    Our situations are so similar it's almost scary haha. I've only got one close friend now that i keep in regular touch with after i finished high school - there is another but she's moving away for uni next week.
    Luckily I managed to find a couple of people on my course on facebook, one of which, I am quite close friends with now but I'm kind of scared that none of the people on my course are going to like me when they meet me in person (self doubt can do that to a person).
    I'm sorry I can't really give you any advice because I'm in the same boat
 
 
 
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