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I want to get help but I'm worried about it affecting my career. watch

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    It's weird writing this because right now I'm mentally great (not euphoric, just normal people great) so I feel like I'm being silly.

    Basically long story short I've been significantly depressed for 15 odd years. Hide it with alcohol, by working in isolation, having no ambition and keeping only 2 friends who don't ask questions.

    Over the past year I've been unable to sustain such a life style and I've stopped drinking, got a new job and just generally started living life. However, over the past year I've been experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety (no mental symptoms) such as flop sweats, panic attacks (with ZERO panic) mutism and hallucinations.

    I determined that maybe I'd moved too fast and that I was perhaps more dependant on alcohol than I thought and expecting the symptoms to pass over time. In stead they've gotten worse and now, living a life of responsibility etc, I can't just act like Columbo and expect people not to question my behaviour which is... making me anxious and making my symptoms worse - though they still never seem to be triggered by noticeable anxiety. I'd previously explained the hallucinations with simple hearing impairment (wax) and peripheral trickery but I'm not sure I believe that anymore. Regardless it's also getting harder to hide and the harder I try the worse it gets.

    Anyway, to stop this short story getting any longer - my GP twigged something was up during a recent check up when I couldn't speak. She gave me some useless leaflet on anxiety (I really don't have any general mental anxiety) I've got a formal appointment on Wednesday but I'm not sure if I will go.

    I want help and I'm ready for it. I'm pretty sure it's nothing more serious than me skipping a few steps in my life change. The issue is now I actually have a career on the cards and recorded mental illness might **** that up.

    This is all stupid and i know the answer but I just need to vent.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've got a formal appointment on Wednesday but I'm not sure if I will go.

    I want help and I'm ready for it. I'm pretty sure it's nothing more serious than me skipping a few steps in my life change. The issue is now I actually have a career on the cards and recorded mental illness might **** that up.

    This is all stupid and i know the answer but I just need to vent.
    You're not alone. :hugs:

    Go to that appointment. Answer everything the best you can. Let it all out. Don't bottle it up inside and hide it. You'll feel much better for it and they will help. I think you'll get some sort Cognitive behavioral therapy. If you don't like your person doing it then ask for another. Don't let them give up on you but don't give up on it yourself. Let me know if you want any help. Or drop me a PM if you want to get anything off your chest.
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    (Original post by 8472)
    You're not alone. :hugs:

    Go to that appointment. Answer everything the best you can. Let it all out. Don't bottle it up inside and hide it. You'll feel much better for it and they will help. I think you'll get some sort Cognitive behavioral therapy. If you don't like your person doing it then ask for another. Don't let them give up on you but don't give up on it yourself. Let me know if you want any help. Or drop me a PM if you want to get anything off your chest.
    I ended up being called in early and got ambushed. Turns out my GP pays more attention than I thought. Between knowing I wouldn't have to convince some one that I was depressed and having to reassure them that my cagey visit last week was down to concerns over my career and not because I was prepping - it all turned out to be quite easy in the end.

    I've been given diazepam, SSRI and CBT.
 
 
 
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