I'm scared of being around other young people Watch

missA123
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I know this may sound stupid, but I really don't like being around people my own age (or anyone who's within 5 years older or younger), to the extent where I feel anxious and worried whenever I think about Uni.

It all started when I started secondary school and had no friends (which continued throughout my whole school life) due to being ugly and shy. This year I've been taking a gap year, and my "fear" and dislike of people my age has got even worse. I can't even go on a bus or to a high street/mall without wanting to cry and run back home. I see other teens and feel as if they're judging me. And these are just randoms who I don't even know. The thought of having to spend 3 YEARS with the same people is so daunting. Plus there will be boys there which makes it even worse (I went to an all girls' school).

Part of me don't want to start university, I would rather get a job, where I'll be surrounded by adults, but I have a place on a prestigious course and don't want to waste the opportunity. What should I do about this problem? I know that if I went to a GP they'd say that it's just me being overly paranoid
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jay2013
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(Original post by missA123)
I know this may sound stupid, but I really don't like being around people my own age (or anyone who's within 5 years older or younger), to the extent where I feel anxious and worried whenever I think about Uni.

It all started when I started secondary school and had no friends (which continued throughout my whole school life) due to being ugly and shy. This year I've been taking a gap year, and my "fear" and dislike of people my age has got even worse. I can't even go on a bus or to a high street/mall without wanting to cry and run back home. I see other teens and feel as if they're judging me. And these are just randoms who I don't even know. The thought of having to spend 3 YEARS with the same people is so daunting. Plus there will be boys there which makes it even worse (I went to an all girls' school).

Part of me don't want to start university, I would rather get a job, where I'll be surrounded by adults, but I have a place on a prestigious course and don't want to waste the opportunity. What should I do about this problem? I know that if I went to a GP they'd say that it's just me being overly paranoid
Based on what you've posted it sounds like you have some social anxiety. What is it about people your own age that you don't like? Is it because you think they're immature?

The best thing I would suggest to do is just take a leap and go to university. It may sound daunting and terrifying but everyone who starts university will be in a similar or the same boat. On the plus side you may end up living with students who are older than you!
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missA123
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(Original post by jay2013)
Based on what you've posted it sounds like you have some social anxiety. What is it about people your own age that you don't like? Is it because you think they're immature?

The best thing I would suggest to do is just take a leap and go to university. It may sound daunting and terrifying but everyone who starts university will be in a similar or the same boat. On the plus side you may end up living with students who are older than you!
The thing that I don't like about them is the drinking/partying/sleeping around. Obviously it doesn't apply to all young people but it applies to the majority. And it doesn't help that all girls my age are obsessed with makeup and hair and fashion, which I'm not. I just feel like everything is about being attractive in appearance and having confidence, and if you don't have either, you're going to be miserable.

Oh and I'm living at home luckily
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jay2013
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(Original post by missA123)
The thing that I don't like about them is the drinking/partying/sleeping around. Obviously it doesn't apply to all young people but it applies to the majority. And it doesn't help that all girls my age are obsessed with makeup and hair and fashion, which I'm not. I just feel like everything is about being attractive in appearance and having confidence, and if you don't have either, you're going to be miserable.

Oh and I'm living at home luckily
University isn't like secondary school or college. Yes a lot of the students will be around your age but there will be a lot of others who are older than you. When I did my undergrad there was a 50 year old in one of the undergrad courses at my sport science school - he was a P.E. teacher for years but decided to do a 3 year sport science degree full time. You may end up meeting some people on your course or in a society who are more mature than your peers.

Just do what makes you happy. If the partying and drinking isn't your thing then you don't need to join in! But I would strongly suggest you socialise as much as possible in some way because you may have to do group work during your degree and you don't want to end up with some rubbish group members who are not smart and/or don't pull their weight.

As people age their perspective change - in first year a lot of people will be drinking and partying but come their final year I can guarantee you that these same people will be living at the university library!
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TheWaffle
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(Original post by missA123)
I know this may sound stupid, but I really don't like being around people my own age (or anyone who's within 5 years older or younger), to the extent where I feel anxious and worried whenever I think about Uni.

It all started when I started secondary school and had no friends (which continued throughout my whole school life) due to being ugly and shy. This year I've been taking a gap year, and my "fear" and dislike of people my age has got even worse. I can't even go on a bus or to a high street/mall without wanting to cry and run back home. I see other teens and feel as if they're judging me. And these are just randoms who I don't even know. The thought of having to spend 3 YEARS with the same people is so daunting. Plus there will be boys there which makes it even worse (I went to an all girls' school).

Part of me don't want to start university, I would rather get a job, where I'll be surrounded by adults, but I have a place on a prestigious course and don't want to waste the opportunity. What should I do about this problem? I know that if I went to a GP they'd say that it's just me being overly paranoid
I was in exactly the same position as you OP! But when I went to university I went in with an open mind, thinking- I have nothing to lose. It was the best decision ever. Everyone at university is SO different to how they were at school. I know how you feel because I went to an all girl's school and struggled with friendships but I flourished at uni. Just try not to see new people you meet there based on your old perceptions of what young people are like and you should be less nervous. The vast majority of people are really nice and are looking for a new start with new friends they meet at uni. Feel free to PM me if you think I could help with any more advice Which uni are you planning on going to by the way?
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pink pineapple
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(Original post by missA123)
The thing that I don't like about them is the drinking/partying/sleeping around. Obviously it doesn't apply to all young people but it applies to the majority. And it doesn't help that all girls my age are obsessed with makeup and hair and fashion, which I'm not. I just feel like everything is about being attractive in appearance and having confidence, and if you don't have either, you're going to be miserable.

Oh and I'm living at home luckily
I'm not a massive a drinker and I'd rather go down the pub than go clubbing. I'm not at uni but I'm sure you'll meet like minded people. Also, people have grown up, whether you wear makeup or not people tend to care more about you as a person. As long as you're willing to chat to people and have a smile on your face, you shouldn't have a problem. Remember the main reason why people are at university is because they want to get a degree. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine
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