Why does everyone I know, Use me for Emotional support & then Leave me?
Story of my life. A miserable one.
Everyone I know, whether its in real life or online friends etc, ALWAYS come to me when they need emotional support and advice.
I personally don't think I'm an expert at that since I'm only 22 and not even a therapist but everyone I know love the emotional support and advice I give to them because they like how I show that I care about them (even though they don't care about me) and I give them solutions or at least make them feel Happy and free-spirited again.
However as soon as they begin to flourish using the help I gave them, they quickly leave me and only return if they need help.
I'm a nice big-hearted person, although I'm naive/innocent I do have wisdom and the passion to help/care for others, and I know people like that about me, and want to take advantage of that and usually do.
However I feel so empty after they leave - like I just got used and not even appreciated enough to be held close by them. I never express this disappointment or else I will come across as demanding and I don't want that because I'm not demanding. I just like appreciation and reciprocation. Yet never receive it.
I guess this is a bit of a vent/rant rather than a question. However I do have two questions - why do people treat me like this? How do I improve my situation?
Thank you
Everyone I know, whether its in real life or online friends etc, ALWAYS come to me when they need emotional support and advice.
I personally don't think I'm an expert at that since I'm only 22 and not even a therapist but everyone I know love the emotional support and advice I give to them because they like how I show that I care about them (even though they don't care about me) and I give them solutions or at least make them feel Happy and free-spirited again.
However as soon as they begin to flourish using the help I gave them, they quickly leave me and only return if they need help.
I'm a nice big-hearted person, although I'm naive/innocent I do have wisdom and the passion to help/care for others, and I know people like that about me, and want to take advantage of that and usually do.
However I feel so empty after they leave - like I just got used and not even appreciated enough to be held close by them. I never express this disappointment or else I will come across as demanding and I don't want that because I'm not demanding. I just like appreciation and reciprocation. Yet never receive it.
I guess this is a bit of a vent/rant rather than a question. However I do have two questions - why do people treat me like this? How do I improve my situation?
Thank you
The hardest part of being the person who is good at advice and sorting out other peoples problems is that when the tables are turned and you need advice the only person you can turn to is yourself and you can never give yourself good advice!
I cant talk for the people you help but most people will use you to get what they want, then go when they don't need you, your giving your time and effort to people who don't deserve it. You need to try and become better at being a judge of character because at the moment it seems you put your time and effort into selfish people too quickly.
It seems you are not allowing enough time for people to become emotionally involved in you, your concentrating too much on helping other people and not getting anything back from the friendship/ relationship. you've just become the agony aunt that people write to in the paper, how many people write into agony aunts asking how they are? I can guarantee it doesn't happen.
Take some time out for your self and think about what you want out of the people that you meet, bond with them and create a bit more of a foundation, and steer clear of the selfish people out there!
Hope this has helped!
I cant talk for the people you help but most people will use you to get what they want, then go when they don't need you, your giving your time and effort to people who don't deserve it. You need to try and become better at being a judge of character because at the moment it seems you put your time and effort into selfish people too quickly.
It seems you are not allowing enough time for people to become emotionally involved in you, your concentrating too much on helping other people and not getting anything back from the friendship/ relationship. you've just become the agony aunt that people write to in the paper, how many people write into agony aunts asking how they are? I can guarantee it doesn't happen.
Take some time out for your self and think about what you want out of the people that you meet, bond with them and create a bit more of a foundation, and steer clear of the selfish people out there!
Hope this has helped!
I know exactly how you feel and it really is hurtful. I've always been the same. People would come to me for advice and emotional support or when they have a problem that they want me to solve. It's gotten to the point where if an "old friend" ever contacts me, my immediate thought is "what do they want from me?" Sadly I'm usually right in thinking that. I've gotten so tired of being the one to turn to for advice or help, I'm tired of being needed. I wish there were people that want to talk to others just because.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by wani
Story of my life. A miserable one.
Everyone I know, whether its in real life or online friends etc, ALWAYS come to me when they need emotional support and advice.
I personally don't think I'm an expert at that since I'm only 22 and not even a therapist but everyone I know love the emotional support and advice I give to them because they like how I show that I care about them (even though they don't care about me) and I give them solutions or at least make them feel Happy and free-spirited again.
However as soon as they begin to flourish using the help I gave them, they quickly leave me and only return if they need help.
I'm a nice big-hearted person, although I'm naive/innocent I do have wisdom and the passion to help/care for others, and I know people like that about me, and want to take advantage of that and usually do.
However I feel so empty after they leave - like I just got used and not even appreciated enough to be held close by them. I never express this disappointment or else I will come across as demanding and I don't want that because I'm not demanding. I just like appreciation and reciprocation. Yet never receive it.
I guess this is a bit of a vent/rant rather than a question. However I do have two questions - why do people treat me like this? How do I improve my situation?
Thank you
Everyone I know, whether its in real life or online friends etc, ALWAYS come to me when they need emotional support and advice.
I personally don't think I'm an expert at that since I'm only 22 and not even a therapist but everyone I know love the emotional support and advice I give to them because they like how I show that I care about them (even though they don't care about me) and I give them solutions or at least make them feel Happy and free-spirited again.
However as soon as they begin to flourish using the help I gave them, they quickly leave me and only return if they need help.
I'm a nice big-hearted person, although I'm naive/innocent I do have wisdom and the passion to help/care for others, and I know people like that about me, and want to take advantage of that and usually do.
However I feel so empty after they leave - like I just got used and not even appreciated enough to be held close by them. I never express this disappointment or else I will come across as demanding and I don't want that because I'm not demanding. I just like appreciation and reciprocation. Yet never receive it.
I guess this is a bit of a vent/rant rather than a question. However I do have two questions - why do people treat me like this? How do I improve my situation?
Thank you
Heyy, this situation is actually really similar to mine- people use my kindness and niceness to their advantage- just remember whatever happens your still a really kind and helpful person
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