Dilemma... How does it feel to hurt someone?

During a get together party, I was impressed with a pretty looking decent girl I have always wanted to talk to, after the party, I decided to collect her number and few weeks a later we got very closed (on phone , hang out and online chat basically) and I felt I could ask her out.

Anyways, few weeks later she called and said "I think I am in love with you, I really want to pour out my feelings" and I was like ... Speechless because I wasn't expecting it so quick. When did we start? I could not give any definite answer so I tried to keep away from the discussion logically.

One day we were just having a normal chat until it got to something else... it got to a particular stage that we couldn't hold it, we did something naughty and enjoyable if you say so. In my mind I thought I was dreaming cause this is a girl you wouldn't think you could touch her face, her hands or any part of her body without a genuine reason.To me kissing her deeply was a privilege but to her it was like she has always wanted it from me, since then I started having a feeling she likes me so much.

In a nutshell, to cut a very long story short, she called me oneday and said "Why haven't I given her a reply on what she said" She did not even say "hi" I guess she must have been thinking about me. I was really shock, I have no experience and I really don't want to say something without been serious. I asked if she was going to be free maybe we could go out on a date and discuss the issue.

We went to a park very far away but hidden. Hardly you see ppl walking around. We had a very long and smooth discussion (because I really like to talk and make her laugh so it wasn't really boring). I am kind of person that can really change a situation and delay stuff just to make sure I am doing the right thing. I actually made her forget what we came there for until home time...She called me by my name and asked same question with a condition FOR THE LAST TIME...and guess what? I said YES I DO but in my mind, to be honest, I really don't like her that much. I just like her because she is a decent girl, not like every other girl, she is smart, A grade candidate, knows what she is doing, pretty looking and very clean. She is not a girl you would love to say no.

Since I said yes without being serious about it, I have really had series of disturbed mind anytime I am with her. Anytime she says "she loves me and I say me too" I feel the guilt in me and I am thinking of going back to her to say you know what I really didn't mean it. I am sorry and bla bla bla...

I know this is a very long story but what would you do? I know some people would hate me for doing this but tbh it isn't my fault. I hate it when the pressure is on me and I have to make a decision. By the way, I think I'm her first lover...things are getting worst, infact any phone/chat/live conversation we have ends with "I love you, me too".

I wish I never asked her out in the first place...Now I am in a dilemma. What do you reckon? Go and meet her tell her it was a mistake or wait till the bad day so we could break up?

Any advice?

note: In past yrs few girls have asked me out and I must say just in the last 2 years 2 guys have also asked me out but I am not gay. Still wondering if I have anything special that makes everyone want to go out with me. Please don't base this on your advice although you might want to give seperate advice.

Sorry If I have made any grammatical errors
Thanks in advance for any advice
Manifest.

Reply 1

username47781

You say shes a decent girl but you say you don't like her, well i don't see why you don't give it a try with her, unless you just want one thing from her.

Reply 2

Sticky

Wow that's some messed up crap you've got yourself into there. A girl calls you up a few weeks later, hasn't even spoken to you and she says she loves you? You're a decent guy to at least have tried to understand her and overlook the whole thing, that probably would make any person turn away immediately and run.

Don't think you're the first guy who got forced into saying "I love you"! Lol :rolleyes:

I think almost all guys experience that at least once in their life. Girls tend to say "I love you" a lot more easily than guys but don't be fooled by that. Don't necessarily think that she genuinely is in love with you. Some girls like to say that as a test, to see your reaction. What's more important to such girls is that they're loved not that they love the other person.

What you have to realise is that she's got you in an emotional trap and she wants to bleed you for every emotion you can give her. I know loads of guys including myself who have been in that situation. Don't let her walk all over you. Next time she wants to meet you, make sure that things don't work out on her terms.

May I just ask why you want to meet her in isolated places? Are you embarassed of being seen with her?

Reply 3

Spent

My ex did that - I felt compelled to say yes after a brief delay. Though I liked her at the time she was never right for me.

Reply 4

Chumbaniya

Carl1982

You say shes a decent girl but you say you don't like her, well i don't see why you don't give it a try with her, unless you just want one thing from her.

There's a big difference between thinking she's decent and being in love with her.

Reply 5

ladyportacabin

Borderline personality disorder.

Reply 6

username47781

Yeah take that back there is, i mean as people have said do not say i love you just because you feel pressured.

Reply 7

janesmith

u wanted something you thought was untocuhable.
u idolise it
then u got it
and the glitz and glammour has faded

if she doesnt make u get butterflies then end it. but dont end it cos u said i love you when you clearly dont mean it. tell her it takes time (months years) before you can commit yourself to the word. girls just say it really easily like myself but i find its cos theres not a word in between love that isnt as strong and defines what u feel.

Reply 8

Merovingian

pretty looking and very clean

LOL Clean??? You make her sound like a pet dog or something.
Anyway, I can sympathise: I'm in a similar position and have no idea how to proceed now. I'm interested to know what advice others will give.

Reply 9

Elusive

In my opinion, you should just tell her outright. It's better than leading her on and she'd appreciate it in the long run, even if she doesn't right now.

If it was me, I'd rather be told the truth. It may hurt her at first, but you can't be with someone you don't really want to be with, however ''decent'' they are - it isn't fair on either of you.

& Remember that the longer you leave it, the harder it'll get.

Reply 10

Jelkin

Sticky

Girls tend to say "I love you" a lot more easily than guys

Really?! My friends and I tend to experience the opposite! Must be something in the water around here :wink:

Manifest

I know some people would hate me for doing this but tbh it isn't my fault.

Umm...? It sort of is. Sorry. I can understand why you did it (been there myself), but it IS your fault. There's nothing shameful about not being in love with someone, especially in such a short amount of time. Your girlfriend sounds rather odd. It's a bit of a tricky situation, but I think you'll have to tell her the truth. If like you said you don't even like her that much, then it's probably best to end it - otherwise, just tell her you've come to realise you don't actually love her, but you still like her a lot and want to be with her. If she's reasonable, she'll understand.

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