would you cosider this as rape?

i was at a party a few months ago, i felt absolutely horrible before i got there so i thought i'd get very very drunk to feel better for a few hours. i was talking to one of my friends who is a guy while drinking and in no time i was blacked out and completely lost control and he had sex with me. i had no idea about it until a few hours later until someone told me while i was sobering up. apparently he was drunk too. he was my friend and i did not want it to happen. would you say that it was rape or not? i don't know really know what to think anymore.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Yes that's definitely rape...he had sex with you without your consent. I'm really sorry this happened to you - maybe consider talking to the police or a counsellor about it? I was sexually assaulted so I know how awful this is, you're not alone and there is help out there for you x

Reply 2

godd

Well...

Having sex, without the consent of both partners, constitutes as rape.

Reply 3

Juichiro

If you don't remember consenting it was.

Reply 4

siamakdie

If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i record everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

Deteriorate

You were both drunk.You never know maybe you were the one asking him to have sex with you and now you've forgotten?
You don't remember what happened. Does he? Does he remember how it initiated etc?
Probably best to find out everything before you consider that you've been raped.
No offence but women seem to jump the fence too quick these days.

If you have that's very sad, report it.

But in my opinion you haven't because you were both drunk. And he didn't get you drunk you got yourself drunk. So by accusing him of doing this without knowing what happened you could possibly ruin his life for something that occurred because of you.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by siamakdie

If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i tape everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.

no, i just want to see what others think of it. i'm over it now, it's not like i'm going to report it. i just want opinions that's all.

Reply 7

barneystin

no

how do you know you didn't consent at the time, and just forgot when you woke up. because that's not rape.

actual joke ting how you could ruin someone's life over this.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

bittr n swt

Report it if you want but it won't get far as you were drunk and not even sure yourself ...

Reply 9

KJane

Yes! If you did not consent to it then it is rape.

Reply 10

geometrix

You didn't consent. Therefore it was rape. Just because you chose to drink that night does NOT make it your fault. It is never, ever, ever the victim's fault.

Reply 11

InsertWittyName

If you blacked out and then he had sex with you then yes it would be- but when you say you 'lost control' do you mean you was drunk to the point when you didn't remember what was going on or do you mean that you blacked out while still talking to him? If you were conscious (albeit both drunk to the point of not being able to remember anything) then that's a more complicated issue but if you are confident you blacked out while talking to him then I'd say that probably is rape.

If you do think it's rape and it has really affected you, I would recommend you talk to someone who knows more about these things than an group of anonymous people on the internet.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

KJane

Original post by siamakdie

If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i tape everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.

He didn't accidently fall on her and it happened, he made an active choice to force sex on an unconscious girl. That is rape.

Reply 13

brownsugar-xx

Think you need to be clearer. Were you unconscious when he had sex with you? Or do you not remember what happened after a certain point?

Reply 14

Helloworld_95

If he was really drunk too then I'd say overall no but it's hard to say as if you consented at the time you cannot retroactively remove consent, but if you didn't consent at the time it would be rape. I'd go with giving him the benefit of the doubt, at least talk to him about it, but if you tell him you think he raped you he is going to feel incredibly guilty.

Reply 15

Glamduril

**** most of the people commenting on this...
For all we know the guy could have been saying no but was too drunk to resist.
Just because you regret it doesnt make it rape.
Why are you all assuming that the guy in this situation was the one initiating it all?? Is it because he is a guy and she is a girl??
For all we know the guy was raped, we can just blame it all on him because he is a guy.

Reply 16

brownsugar-xx

Original post by Glamduril

Yeah, was thinking the same.

Which is why OP needs to give more deets.

Reply 17

Mankytoes

Original post by siamakdie

If you were both drunk then no. He might of not wanted to sleep with you either. Situations like these piss me off, why do you want to wreck someone elses life just because you made a stupid mistake to get drunk. Did someone rape you into going? Did they rape you into taking a drink? Did he pin you down and rape you?

This ain't even rape, srs. I am all for rapists getting what they deserve, but this sounds like women who make dumb choices blaming other people for their mistakes. This is why i tape everything, so dumb girls don't come bite me in the ass with their double standards of peace.

Seriously? You think you can't rape someone if you're drunk? Luckily the law doesn't agree with you.

That question I've bolded implies that a woman can't be raped if she choose to go to the location of the rape by her own consent, which is so stupid I don't know where to start.

Your attitude to rape is pretty worrying.

The case isn't totally clear. OP, when you say you "blacked out", do you mean you were unconscious, or that you can't remember? If its the former it's a definite rape. If it's the latter, we can't be sure.

Reply 18

joker12345

Original post by Juichiro

If you don't remember consenting it was.

No, only if she definitely remembers that she DIDNT consent. If she consented but didn't remember it's not rape, and if she doesn't remember whether she consented we can't really call it rape.

Reply 19

Lord_Mediocre

You said he was drunk as well, he could say that he was drunk and didn't consent and you raped him.....

Feel free to report it but your own statement suggest that it may be a very tricky case.