The Student Room Group

How do I explain to him its wrong?

This thread is going to sound stupid and I am embarassed in posting this but anyway here goes: -

My boyfriend posts pictures of his manhood on the internet and it is upsetting me. I feel embarassed about it and ashamed because I don't know anyone else who exhibits themselves like that. He doesn't see a problem in it and thinks its perfectly normal behavour. He said he does it to see what people think and get compliments. He told me nobody knows its him but still.

I asked him (to try make him understand) how he'd feel if I posted pictures of myself on the internet (something I'd never do) but he said he wouldn't mind. I know most guys wouldn't like their girlfriends doing that and would probably dump her if she did. I was shocked that he wouldn't mind.

How do I explain to him that I don't like him doing it and why its wrong? I see it as a way of sexually displaying himself to other people on the internet which I don't agree with.

Thanks

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Reply 1
he posts them on a website? hmmm! Well he obviously needs some self reassurance and is a little unconfident that he needs to be told it looks good as to men its very important! Just talk to him and tell him u think hes perfect and how u dont like him doing it! theres no knowing though really if he'll carry on !
Reply 2
Probably just a harmless fetish. I'd leave him be, doesn't seem too troublesome.
Weird as it is, that's his way of dealing with his insecurity. Either accept it or dump him. :confused: I'm sorry I can't help much more... that's all there is to say.
I would tell him how upsetting you find it
Alewhey
Probably just a harmless fetish. I'd leave him be, doesn't seem too troublesome.

Well, that's the thing. Many people disagree with fetishes, especially when their partner is acting them out behind their backs. :p: I wouldn't say this was a fetish, just an insecurity. It wouldn't bother me too much, I guess... I would be concerned and want him to stop though.
Reply 6
He does have a bit of insecurity about himself to be honest so that could be it. People used to comment about it (in school showers or something, not sure where). He also said that I should compliment him more, but I don't know what to say to be honest.

He's lying to me now saying he hasn't got any pictures on the internet, I've seen them so know they exist.
Reply 7
Tell him he has a hooge penis.
Fleece
Tell him he has a hooge penis.



Lol thats one way of putting it or just tell him you don't care what size he is tell him you like him for who he is.
Reply 9
The majestic Yahooey says you have every right to feel angry at your boyfriend. The majestic Yahooey thinks that ultimately the genitals of your partner are something which a person is perfectly entitled to expect to be the only person seeing (apart from Doctors and whatnot). The majestic Yahooey also thinks that if he has your consent to do this then it's fine, but seeing as he does not, he should cease and desist immediately.

The majestic Yahooey has spoken.
QUOTE=Anonymous] He also said that I should compliment him more, but I don't know what to say to be honest.

Ever seen 'The Sweetest thing'? You could take inspiration from the penis song.
Let's see...

They're not married
No one knows its her boyfriend and for all the girlfriend knows he may not even be posting pictures of himself.
Could she even tell if a pic was her boyfriend's?

I fail to see the problem. And maybe if he was getting compliments from the girlfriend he wouldn't need to post pictures on the internet? Every lad likes to be complimented on his willy.
Reply 12
The narcissistic Yahooey loves to be complimented on his willy.

The narcissistic Yahooey has spoken.
Although it is harmless, you obviously mind; as would I were it my partner. I would sit down with him and just explain that you are now being deadly serious, and would he not do it whilst the two of you are together. If you mean anything to him, he'll stop it without question and it's not exactly much to ask is it?
'If you loved me/I meant anything to you you'd do it'

Is controlling behaviour. The boyfriend should just say, the pictures were here before you, if you don't like it then go. They're only on one penis related forum/website anyway.
Reply 15
Yahooey
The majestic Yahooey says you have every right to feel angry at your boyfriend. The majestic Yahooey thinks that ultimately the genitals of your partner are something which a person is perfectly entitled to expect to be the only person seeing (apart from Doctors and whatnot). The majestic Yahooey also thinks that if he has your consent to do this then it's fine, but seeing as he does not, he should cease and desist immediately.

The majestic Yahooey has spoken.

DUFFMAN! thinks the majestic Yahooey should shut up.
Reply 16
The majestic Yahooey really doesn't give much of a crap what DUFFMAN! thinks.

The majestic Yahooey has spoken.
Reply 17
Yeah just compliment him, but not in an obvious 'reaction to this' way.

Although, he's probably still gonna seek out reactions from other people, it's just exhibitionism. I always used to get it out when I was about 15 for that reason, luckily I'm past that now!
Reply 18
Yahooey
The majestic Yahooey says you have every right to feel angry at your boyfriend. The majestic Yahooey thinks that ultimately the genitals of your partner are something which a person is perfectly entitled to expect to be the only person seeing (apart from Doctors and whatnot). The majestic Yahooey also thinks that if he has your consent to do this then it's fine, but seeing as he does not, he should cease and desist immediately.

The majestic Yahooey has spoken.



To argue a point...why? Are the genitals not just another body part? It's only social conditioning that tells us they are sacred.
Reply 19
The wonderful Yahooey would argue that it's only social conditioning which tells us that anything is sacred. The way our society works is by a communally agreed upon set of values and standards. Thus, while there may be minor differences, most people in our society agree on the same things being of value.

The wonderful Yahooey would also like to point out that more specifically, a relationship between two people relies on those individuals having similar values, or compromising on the values which are different. Thus, for the majority of people in our society, the genitals are considered private or sacred, and if he is not willing to compromise his differing values on this, then there will be problems in the relationship, in much the same way as someone with vastly different values from the rest of society (murderers, thieves, naturists, anything vastly different) will experience problems functioning in mainstream society.

The wonderful Yahooey has spoken.