Look I had a bf for many years, about 3, but I did not feel anything for him, I treated him simply as a mate.. he was speaking that he loves me etc.. so I was with him, cuz it was nice to meet from time to time and to sociaise.
He was telling me too - that he would like to kiss me, hold hands etc.. but I never agreed - I was thinking that maybe I have some barriers, maybe I am not ready yet for it. And than I met somebody else, felt in love so deeply (we were never bf and gfs) but if in that time he would ask to kiss me, I would not think twice... The thing is - it's all based on love, commitment, and how dear that person is to you! Past, barriers, - ok these are some excuses, and belive me I also used to use it! But when it comes to real love and the right person, these kind of excuses do not work, cuz u know that u can do anything for that person, who u really love.