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Cheering someone up : )
How do you cheer someone up or what is the best way to do so?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
Reply 1
Depends entirely on the person and you have to know them well to know how to do it. The only universal one is chocolate.
Reply 2
a tip i use which is a bit random but works is by getting them to make themselvs smile!
get them to put a finger at top of either side of their lips and then push up so they form a "fake" smile, this should provoke a real smile for the reason that by that time they woulda realised what a twit they look standing their making a fake smile!
also just reassure them, if someone is a bit sad more often than not its because they have something on their mind, reassuring them that they have somone to talk to and to listen may help them get out whatever is troubling them and make them feel a bit better
finally a way of cheering them up is by surprising them (i.e calling them and being like were going to the cinema tonight my treat be outside the cinema at 7) or something like that, the more random and crazy the idea the better
hope this helps
get them to put a finger at top of either side of their lips and then push up so they form a "fake" smile, this should provoke a real smile for the reason that by that time they woulda realised what a twit they look standing their making a fake smile!
also just reassure them, if someone is a bit sad more often than not its because they have something on their mind, reassuring them that they have somone to talk to and to listen may help them get out whatever is troubling them and make them feel a bit better
finally a way of cheering them up is by surprising them (i.e calling them and being like were going to the cinema tonight my treat be outside the cinema at 7) or something like that, the more random and crazy the idea the better
hope this helps
Reply 3
make them laugh I guess, take their mind off regular life and all that is bothering them, do something different or crazy
write a poem to let them know how speacial they are ..a hug? treat them to a nice dinner ...or cook for them and take them out for a long drive to talk it through with them or take them somewhere like a cliff and some sort of scenry place talk to them about the issue and keep reassuring them that ur always there for them. Perhaps when ur with nature u can hand them over with a small gift. good luck.
Reply 5
725308
How do you cheer someone up or what is the best way to do so?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
I think it depends on what upset them in the first place to a degree. If something bad happened then cracking silly jokes is probably not the way to go. A nice box/ bar of chocolate and watching a Comedy DVD/ video together would do the trick for general cheering up. Or you could tell them about something funny or silly that happened to you and laugh about it. Takes the attention away from the person's unhappiness I suppose.
Hope that helps
Depends on why they are upset, but usually when I feel down, the nicest thing anyone can do is just make an effort with me. Getting a text from someone asking how I am, or someone turning up at my house, or asking me when I am free to meet up, will get a smile everytime. Someone taking the time to make an effort for you is better than any gifts or cornyness.
Reply 7
Word of warning. If they're actually depressed, don't try. It won't work.
Otherwise, compliment them? I love to be complimented. Someone ****ing compliment me, now.
Otherwise, compliment them? I love to be complimented. Someone ****ing compliment me, now.
generalebriety
Word of warning. If they're actually depressed, don't try. It won't work.
With some people it doesn't. But I have been clinically depressed before, and someone showing they care is about the best thing that can happen. Makes you feel like you have a purpose and that, to one person at least, you matter.
Reply 9
Tell them they look very attractive - that made me laugh.
Reply 10
Alex Mann
With some people it doesn't. But I have been clinically depressed before, and someone showing they care is about the best thing that can happen. Makes you feel like you have a purpose and that, to one person at least, you matter.
I am clinically depressed.
What I meant was don't go giving them chocolate or anything, it just depresses you more. Compliments are never bad though.Reply 12
725308
How do you cheer someone up or what is the best way to do so?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
Just find not very good at this personally.
What would you say/do cheer someone up?
Taken from this thread:
Anonymous
Title says it. My boyfriend suffers from a type of depressions that give him extreme ups and downs. A lot of times we'd plan going out and then he'd be having a down and it'd spoil the day. I always try to cheer him up, but I very rarely succeed. What activities and words cheer up depressed people?
Ron Stoppable
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. "Ups and downs" sounds bi-polar - have you/your boyfriend sought medical advice yet?
There's lots of things you can do to bring him out of his slump. Take note of Fluffy's advice to not be predictably faux cheery-uppy - you really can't afford to risk alienating him. Now let's take a novel approach that only I'd be kooky enough to dream up - and because I don't know you nor your boyfriend, it'd be folly to talk specifically, so I'll do it through analogy first, then talk through what I mean.
I used to be in the Scouts and when I was earning my lifesaving badge, I learnt that if you want to save someone who's drowning, the last thing you should do is jump in after them. Instead you should think through these steps in order: reach, throw, row, go. First, grab a stick and reach out to him. If he's too far away or won't grab the stick, then try throwing him a lifering. If that doesn't work, find a boat, row out to him, and hold out an oar for him to grab. And as a last resort, you can swim out to save him yourself but only if you're fully prepared for the potential consequences - both bad as well as good. Ok, so how do we translate that into practical steps with you and your boyfriend...
As your boyfriend, he is within range of you, especially as you know he's someone who's normally positive or neutral - hey, that's why you two got together in the first place, right? - but has become temporarily lost under a pile of fear and worry. So do what you can to cheer him up and bring him back to the positive side. Invite him to an upbeat social event. Take him out to eat and talk about positive memories together. If he tries to get you to join him in his negative thinking, don't. Just ignore those conversational threads and carry on with your positive ones as you coax him back to shore.
Use little tricks to interrupt states and stop upset, anger and confusion in it's tracks. I was brilliant at diffusing negative tension during the twilight of my last relationship: when my girlfriend started to lose it (which can happen at certain times of the month), I'd get her to stop whatever she was doing, and I'd give her a five-minute foot massage. This is magic because I'd usually succeeds in bringing her around as the massage switches her focus. Given the option between focusing on her problems or focusing on her feet, she had to choose the feet so she could enjoy the pleasure of the massage - it's a subconscious thing - she wouldn't ever have a choice!
By the time the massage is over, although she wouldn't always not be totally happy, she'd at least be feeling more content. Sometimes a kind gesture like this or a surprise trip out someplace fascinating is all that's needed, but for when it's not...
It's time to throw a lifering out there - keeping your distance emotionally, while providing a great chance for him to lift that blanket of negativity. Send him a book or CD you think may rekindle fond memories. Write him a card or letter to remind him that you care. You can even use cards and letters if you see him regularly - just tell him not to open them until you're both back at your houses. You might record a personal audio message or - if you're as crazily fun as me - adapt a song to specially record, and sneak it onto his mp3 player. Don't worry if your first throw doesn't work, keep at it 2-3 more times - but if the attempts begins to wear you out, then make one final throw and tell him "That's it! Either you grab this opportunity, or I'm cutting you off." Sure it hurts, sure there's tears, but it works! I had a torrid time with a former best friend who descended into chronic self-harming and overdosing a few years ago and had to set an ultimatum. She's fine and healthy now - and although we're not best friends anymore, I won't ever forget her mum thanking me with tears flowing from her eyes, for making sure she got into hospital after a successful OD attempt when she was 20 hours from liver failure - and that was before my ultimatum! In some situations, an ultimatum is the only way to really get the person's attention, but don't use them unless your other attempts fail. Sometimes though, your best throws still aren't enough, and so you may decide to...
Psychiatrists who keep with the times call this an intervention. You put together a bunch of positive people - you must have plenty of mutual friends with your boyfriend - who will reinforce each other and keep the group's energy good. Then you go visit him and use your combined positive energy to help lift him out of the water. Make him aware of what he's doing to himself, and offer him all the combined help, resources, and assistance you can muster between your group. If you go by yourself, you may not have nearly enough leverage - a common problem when the depression is caused by a hormonal/biochemical imbalance.
We're lucky to live in a world full of rowing boats - the self-improvement industry is growing at a monumental rate and most materials can be found online for free. Many people on this planet work to help people who need it the most and they often pack their websites with useful advice and material. However - and this is an absolute last resort - for some people even rowing out to them isn't enough - and that's when you might decide to…
This is the James Bond / Rambo / Arnie rescue. You must play the role to prevent your emotions from sabotaging your mission. If you try to rescue your boyfriend without being aware of your feelings and dealing with them yourself, you may very well be sucked down into his negativity. Remember that you can't help someone by drowning yourself in the process - your primary responsibility is to keep yourself safe at all times. This requires a delicate combination of genuine caring and detached awareness.
If you've done RE or read the Bible, you'll know that even Jesus had his Apostles to assist him. So surround yourself with a large group of friends who you explain the sitch to - they'll believe you're the greatest thing since the wheel - and you can successfully help your boyfriend out of his sadness without feeling the Dementors near yourself.
It's a great challenge you've got, yet it's also a great opportunity to not only revive, but immensely elevate your relationship too. Besides all that I've written above and edited into what I hope is a fluent order over the last 40-ish minutes, I don't have any further advice for you, except to say that I really honour and sincerely admire what you're doing.
Hey there Anon,
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. "Ups and downs" sounds bi-polar - have you/your boyfriend sought medical advice yet?
There's lots of things you can do to bring him out of his slump. Take note of Fluffy's advice to not be predictably faux cheery-uppy - you really can't afford to risk alienating him. Now let's take a novel approach that only I'd be kooky enough to dream up - and because I don't know you nor your boyfriend, it'd be folly to talk specifically, so I'll do it through analogy first, then talk through what I mean.
I used to be in the Scouts and when I was earning my lifesaving badge, I learnt that if you want to save someone who's drowning, the last thing you should do is jump in after them. Instead you should think through these steps in order: reach, throw, row, go. First, grab a stick and reach out to him. If he's too far away or won't grab the stick, then try throwing him a lifering. If that doesn't work, find a boat, row out to him, and hold out an oar for him to grab. And as a last resort, you can swim out to save him yourself but only if you're fully prepared for the potential consequences - both bad as well as good. Ok, so how do we translate that into practical steps with you and your boyfriend...
Reach
As your boyfriend, he is within range of you, especially as you know he's someone who's normally positive or neutral - hey, that's why you two got together in the first place, right? - but has become temporarily lost under a pile of fear and worry. So do what you can to cheer him up and bring him back to the positive side. Invite him to an upbeat social event. Take him out to eat and talk about positive memories together. If he tries to get you to join him in his negative thinking, don't. Just ignore those conversational threads and carry on with your positive ones as you coax him back to shore.
Use little tricks to interrupt states and stop upset, anger and confusion in it's tracks. I was brilliant at diffusing negative tension during the twilight of my last relationship: when my girlfriend started to lose it (which can happen at certain times of the month), I'd get her to stop whatever she was doing, and I'd give her a five-minute foot massage. This is magic because I'd usually succeeds in bringing her around as the massage switches her focus. Given the option between focusing on her problems or focusing on her feet, she had to choose the feet so she could enjoy the pleasure of the massage - it's a subconscious thing - she wouldn't ever have a choice!
By the time the massage is over, although she wouldn't always not be totally happy, she'd at least be feeling more content. Sometimes a kind gesture like this or a surprise trip out someplace fascinating is all that's needed, but for when it's not...Throw
It's time to throw a lifering out there - keeping your distance emotionally, while providing a great chance for him to lift that blanket of negativity. Send him a book or CD you think may rekindle fond memories. Write him a card or letter to remind him that you care. You can even use cards and letters if you see him regularly - just tell him not to open them until you're both back at your houses. You might record a personal audio message or - if you're as crazily fun as me - adapt a song to specially record, and sneak it onto his mp3 player.
Don't worry if your first throw doesn't work, keep at it 2-3 more times - but if the attempts begins to wear you out, then make one final throw and tell him "That's it! Either you grab this opportunity, or I'm cutting you off." Sure it hurts, sure there's tears, but it works! I had a torrid time with a former best friend who descended into chronic self-harming and overdosing a few years ago and had to set an ultimatum. She's fine and healthy now - and although we're not best friends anymore, I won't ever forget her mum thanking me with tears flowing from her eyes, for making sure she got into hospital after a successful OD attempt when she was 20 hours from liver failure - and that was before my ultimatum! In some situations, an ultimatum is the only way to really get the person's attention, but don't use them unless your other attempts fail. Sometimes though, your best throws still aren't enough, and so you may decide to...Row
Psychiatrists who keep with the times call this an intervention. You put together a bunch of positive people - you must have plenty of mutual friends with your boyfriend - who will reinforce each other and keep the group's energy good. Then you go visit him and use your combined positive energy to help lift him out of the water. Make him aware of what he's doing to himself, and offer him all the combined help, resources, and assistance you can muster between your group. If you go by yourself, you may not have nearly enough leverage - a common problem when the depression is caused by a hormonal/biochemical imbalance.
We're lucky to live in a world full of rowing boats - the self-improvement industry is growing at a monumental rate and most materials can be found online for free.
Many people on this planet work to help people who need it the most and they often pack their websites with useful advice and material. However - and this is an absolute last resort - for some people even rowing out to them isn't enough - and that's when you might decide to…Go
This is the James Bond / Rambo / Arnie rescue. You must play the role to prevent your emotions from sabotaging your mission. If you try to rescue your boyfriend without being aware of your feelings and dealing with them yourself, you may very well be sucked down into his negativity. Remember that you can't help someone by drowning yourself in the process - your primary responsibility is to keep yourself safe at all times. This requires a delicate combination of genuine caring and detached awareness.
If you've done RE or read the Bible, you'll know that even Jesus had his Apostles to assist him. So surround yourself with a large group of friends who you explain the sitch to - they'll believe you're the greatest thing since the wheel - and you can successfully help your boyfriend out of his sadness without feeling the Dementors near yourself.
So...
It's a great challenge you've got, yet it's also a great opportunity to not only revive, but immensely elevate your relationship too. Besides all that I've written above and edited into what I hope is a fluent order over the last 40-ish minutes, I don't have any further advice for you, except to say that I really honour and sincerely admire what you're doing.
Keep smiling chick,
Me
Me
Reply 13
Can't be bothered to read all those long posts, but doing a hula whilst standing on a barstool usually works, either that or dancing like a monkey.
Reply 14
Thankyou to whoever made me shiny, you've cheered me up too
Let them talk if they need to without being judged. Give them a hug. Offer advice if they want it. Sometimes it is better to let someone feel down and just be there. Sounds wierd, but my friend suffers from depression, and sometimes she doesn't want to talk, but I can tell she's feeling a bit better just from sitting together watching a dvd.
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