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How to show you're not interested?
I think I may sorta have led a guy on and I'm in a bit of a quandry! He's in the year below me and randomly talks to me...used to think it was pretty cool, thought he was good-looking(ish) and a fairly nice bloke. Anyway found him on myspace 'coz I was bored and seeing if anyone I knew was on there and added him - which I now realise makes me look a bit of a stalker-type, especially as we're not proper good friends! So he MSNs me and makes rather suggestive comments, and I'm sorta worried he thinks I'm interested! I no longer think he's good-looking and I'm not interested in any relationship...how do I make it clear to him I just want to be mates and I don't fancy him at all? Really wish I hadn't contacted him now!
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lol 
sorry but i love it when people are like that sometimes, hehe
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves ) and dont take much notice if we chats to you on msn, reply like 2/3 late and keep saying sorry but im buzzy, its not rude as you say sorry and he'll get it!
good luck!! xx
sorry but i love it when people are like that sometimes, hehe
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves
) and dont take much notice if we chats to you on msn, reply like 2/3 late and keep saying sorry but im buzzy, its not rude as you say sorry and he'll get it!good luck!! xx
I don't think anything you have described is 'leading him on' at all - it's just being friendly and sociable. If he makes a suggestive comment I would just make a nice but firm rebuttal, and then change the topic and carry on being 'friendly and sociable'. Just remember to be nice about it and everything should be fine, if he is worth having as a friend.
lilac!!
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves )
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves
) Why the need for lying? If someone lies to me I am sincerely hurt they couldn't tell the truth. Saying "sorry no thank you
" is a lot less likely to do damage than saying "ooo I'm going to see my boyfriend" when there is no boyfriend.Reply 4
Take some tips from Lily Allen.
"I've got herpes, no syphilis! NO, AIDS! AIDS, I've got AIDS..."
"I've got herpes, no syphilis! NO, AIDS! AIDS, I've got AIDS..."
Reply 6
Anonymous
I no longer think he's good-looking and I'm not interested in any relationship...how do I make it clear to him I just want to be mates and I don't fancy him at all?
theres your answer
Reply 7
^ Nice plan!
So it wasn't weird of me to add him? Just wanted to chat with peeps but worried he may have thought I looked for him on purpose etc! I do obsess over these things lol. Gonna be at school with him soon which may be quite tough...he has a habit of invading my personal space when he talks to me which freaks me out and is also rather embarassing lol! How exactly do I rebuff him, both in person and online? I don't wanna be nasty but I really want to make it clear I'm not interested!
So it wasn't weird of me to add him? Just wanted to chat with peeps but worried he may have thought I looked for him on purpose etc! I do obsess over these things lol. Gonna be at school with him soon which may be quite tough...he has a habit of invading my personal space when he talks to me which freaks me out and is also rather embarassing lol! How exactly do I rebuff him, both in person and online? I don't wanna be nasty but I really want to make it clear I'm not interested!
Reply 8
'Nice plan' bout the hitting over the head I mean... 
Reply 10
^ Haha, soon as I get my car, totally going for that plan!
Just sorta creeping me out now...I hate the idea that he thinks of me in that way, it's just wrong and disturbing!
Me not happy!
Just sorta creeping me out now...I hate the idea that he thinks of me in that way, it's just wrong and disturbing!
Me not happy!Alex Mann
Why the need for lying? If someone lies to me I am sincerely hurt they couldn't tell the truth. Saying "sorry no thank you " is a lot less likely to do damage than saying "ooo I'm going to see my boyfriend" when there is no boyfriend.
" is a lot less likely to do damage than saying "ooo I'm going to see my boyfriend" when there is no boyfriend.true, but it was just a suggestion and the OP can take it or leave it, up to her, however some people are not so good with "sorry but i'm not.." and say it with a lie and i didnt mean in your face kinda thing, just a normal convo to let them know that she has no interest in him
Reply 13
Vroom vroom
Yeah I will try that, being distant and ignoring...just he turns the whole convo cheeky and I can't find a way to reply without joking along with it!? May just try the 'sorry I've gotta go' line as soon as he starts talking to me!
Just really hope I haven't actually made him think I'm interested...dammit never trying to be mates with a boy again unless I like him like that! Would be so mortified if he thought I fancied him!? :O
Anyways, thanks dh, lilac and Alex for your advice!
Yeah I will try that, being distant and ignoring...just he turns the whole convo cheeky and I can't find a way to reply without joking along with it!? May just try the 'sorry I've gotta go' line as soon as he starts talking to me!
Just really hope I haven't actually made him think I'm interested...dammit never trying to be mates with a boy again unless I like him like that! Would be so mortified if he thought I fancied him!? :O
Anyways, thanks dh, lilac and Alex for your advice!
Reply 14
Anonymous
I think I may sorta have led a guy on and I'm in a bit of a quandry! He's in the year below me and randomly talks to me...used to think it was pretty cool, thought he was good-looking(ish) and a fairly nice bloke. Anyway found him on myspace 'coz I was bored and seeing if anyone I knew was on there and added him - which I now realise makes me look a bit of a stalker-type, especially as we're not proper good friends! So he MSNs me and makes rather suggestive comments, and I'm sorta worried he thinks I'm interested! I no longer think he's good-looking and I'm not interested in any relationship...how do I make it clear to him I just want to be mates and I don't fancy him at all? Really wish I hadn't contacted him now!
OP, do not listen to advice like "act distant". That's the perfect recipe to actually get him hooked. It's also the attitude people adopt when they're not too mature. Make sure he realises you're not interested by telling him about some guy you're dating or have your eyes on.
Your kind of attitude seems so common... You said you were interested before? It's not like he acted all excessively. You're the one who went ahead, curious to see how interested he was and as soon as you realise he's interested, he's no longer attractive
I'm going to give up with seduction. Such a load of *******s.
Reply 15
Yeah well I know I have that problem...with friends, guys, even teachers...if anyone is too nice to me, even if I really liked them before, I go off them...I don't know why, but I just do!
I wasn't particularly interested - thought he was sort of fit, but not great, nothing like the guy I am actually interested in, and I only contacted him to be mates. Don't want him to think I'm playing bloody hard to get, dammit!
I wasn't particularly interested - thought he was sort of fit, but not great, nothing like the guy I am actually interested in, and I only contacted him to be mates. Don't want him to think I'm playing bloody hard to get, dammit!
Reply 16
lilac!!
lol
sorry but i love it when people are like that sometimes, hehe
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves ) and dont take much notice if we chats to you on msn, reply like 2/3 late and keep saying sorry but im buzzy, its not rude as you say sorry and he'll get it!
good luck!! xx
sorry but i love it when people are like that sometimes, hehe
well easy just talk about your "bf" or about a guy you fancy now and again, u know bring the convo up in a natural way (nothing too oves
) and dont take much notice if we chats to you on msn, reply like 2/3 late and keep saying sorry but im buzzy, its not rude as you say sorry and he'll get it!good luck!! xx
Not a good idea, since the guy in question may interpret this as 'playing hard to get'.
She needs to be honest to him; "I see you a friend" blah blah blah
Reply 17
Alex Mann
Why the need for lying? If someone lies to me I am sincerely hurt they couldn't tell the truth. Saying "sorry no thank you " is a lot less likely to do damage than saying "ooo I'm going to see my boyfriend" when there is no boyfriend.
" is a lot less likely to do damage than saying "ooo I'm going to see my boyfriend" when there is no boyfriend.Yep, agreed. People (should) appreciate honesty.
Just talk to him alone and say something along the lines of 'look, I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression, and I may be way out here, but I only see you as a friend. I hope you're not embarrassed, because I'm not' and wrap it up. If he doesn't take it how it's meant then that's his problem. A nice person either says 'no problem, thanks for telling me' and you get on as mates, or 'I wasn't interested to begin with, but thanks anyway' and nothing changes.
Reply 18
Sometimes you have to be honest and tell them straight.
Reply 19
Anonymous
I think I may sorta have led a guy on and I'm in a bit of a quandry! He's in the year below me and randomly talks to me...used to think it was pretty cool, thought he was good-looking(ish) and a fairly nice bloke. Anyway found him on myspace 'coz I was bored and seeing if anyone I knew was on there and added him - which I now realise makes me look a bit of a stalker-type, especially as we're not proper good friends! So he MSNs me and makes rather suggestive comments, and I'm sorta worried he thinks I'm interested! I no longer think he's good-looking and I'm not interested in any relationship...how do I make it clear to him I just want to be mates and I don't fancy him at all? Really wish I hadn't contacted him now!
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- applying for nursing
- PPL supercurriculars
- Fashion Portfolio Advice from someone who got into their uni choices!
- Economics and Management at Oxford (Worcester College)
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