Fallen out with a close friend

Sorry for long post, a lot to say and don't want confuse anyone with the series of events. I am male and started to become friends with a girl same age (15), same year at school around February/March this year.
We would chat every time we were both on MSN (a lot) and we really got to know each other.
Over the course of this time we became really close and we swapped numbers a few months after we first began talking and being friends.
This was about April and I was invited over to her house and we went into local town, walking about, shopping and brought us closer.
We carried on texting every day over 10-20 texts usually (as they were free :p:

).
This was up until recently (July) when we went out to a school event and got closer after chatting and then was invited over to her house again and was in house with her and her best friend alone together and went to park etc. and was good fun.
All very happy, and was really enjoying her company.
This until I was diagnosed with a heart conditon that required an operation (which I had in August a few weeks ago). I told her straight away about my condition and she was very supportive and said she would always be there for me and if there was anyone I needed to go to her. I found this really sweet and caring of her.
Then she started to stop texting as frequently (she always initiated the texting) and said this was because the 'texts won't be free soon' I was happy with this but wanted to stay close as we didn't really talk on MSN only by text at that point. I began to become not like myself and a bit depressed to be honest because of my health condition and my situation with her. She noticed this and this is probably a factor as why she wouldn't text as much.

Anyway, we barely texted each other and I would always text her telling her I needed her support at this time because my operation was weeks away and every text she would send back would have a complete end to it such as 'blah blah blah (replying to what I said) and then she would say 'cya or speak to you soon' this really annoyed me.
So when the end of term came, we talked on MSN and she was very withdrawn from me and just told her at end of convo not to forget me over the holidays as I knew she probably wouldn't email/text during holidays.
She just said she was going away for a few weeks and probably wouldn't have time to talk to me.
I left it at this point and we didn't talk till mid - late August (few weeks ago) when I asked her why she was being so off with me.

This is basicly sums up what she said (I have the MSN convo history)
She said I had really scared her and had been acting VERY obsessed because I had been texting her so much. She then (last week) gave away her SIM to a friend so I could no longer contact her by text! She said this was the reason and that she wanted me to leave her alone. Then speaking to her on MSN on Thursday, I said can't we just be friends again and she said dunno and then I promised her I would not be obsessive like I was before when I was depressed because she had stopped texting and I had become down about my health condition.
She said I had lied and broken promises before - the only example of which was when I was depressed and all promises I had given her before when we got on fine I always kept!

But the situation now is she said she has 'forgiven me and she doesn't care any more' she says she just wants me to leave her alone and then she said is that ok and to which I replied 'I admire you for that' and then she flipped and said if your going to be like that then im not even going to make an effort. To which she then blocked me on MSN!
I emailed her straight after asking her to unblock me and to talk to me.
She replied that she wants me to leave her alone and just forget her!!!!! :frown:

Can't believe she said that to me I just hope she said it for effect to get me off her back for a while.

I just want to know if there is any hope of getting my good friend back here?
Sorry for the long post hope is clear, she means so much and I am NOT prepared to loose her. I need her right now and I thought she would know that as I am just recovering from my operation and need her support.

I emailed her on Thursday (31st August) just explaining all I have said here saying I was depressed and I want one last chance to be friends.

Have received no reply and I know she has been online since. So right now I am giving her some space - although will be seeing her on Wednesday at school. :rolleyes:

Reply 1

Montrose

I can sympathise with how you're feeling. However, if I were you, I would give it a while. Give her a month or so to get over it and calm down a bit. Then maybe after a month just ask her if she was ok and how her life is, and if she seems more receptive, take things very slowly, keeping it low key for a while etc.

Reply 2

sidi

I guess we find out who our real friends are in times of need. I find her behaviour very hurtful and I would not be as forgiving as you are. Maybe she was just as frightened by the operation and wanted to protect herself from getting too close to you? Now that your operation is over I hope you will start to feel stronger and less depressed. Wait and see what happens at school.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all the great replies!

Think I agree with both of you in giving her time but would only be prepared in giving her two weeks perhaps max or would give her complete impression that she has got rid of me completely :frown:

She was scared of me because I think I got a bit too close for comfort and she said on MSN last time I spoke to her that I had been 'acting obsessed for a VERY long time'.

I want to talk to her and explain fully maybe she will understand but then maybe just giving her time to think would also be good and maybe she would contact me?

Feel like just saying hi, how are you etc. on Wednesday when return to school but don't know what reaction will be..... :frown:

Reply 4

Yahooey

The thoughtful Yahooey thinks that you both sound a little bit weird. You sound a bit stalkery and obsessive and she sounds like a bit of a stressy, selfish, disloyal, overreacting psycho.

In conclusion, it sounds to the thoughtful Yahooey that this friendship really isn't meant to be and that it really would be for the best if you just did what she said and left her alone.

The thoughtful Yahooey has spoken.

Reply 5

generalebriety

To be fair, she shouts like a bit of a bitch. She was prepared to say she'd support you when things got difficult up until the point at which they did. You don't want her as a friend, you want someone who actually will keep their word.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I think I need a plan to try and win back her affection - any suggestions on how to go about doing this?

Obviously, after I have given her some time to think and space etc.

Reply 7

Yahooey

The amazing Yahooey thinks that no, you don't need a plan to win back her affection, you need a plan to help you get a grip and realise that this girl doesn't deserve one iota of affection from you.

The amazing Yahooey has spoken.

Reply 8

Mattmoy_2000

She sounds like a bit of a bitch, but if you do want to win her affection, then you've got to wait for her to talk to you - she's telling you to leave her alone every time you speak to her. I think this sends out a pretty strong message. Trying to contact her will just make the situation worse, I mean, if she's changed her phone number just to avoid you then she must be pretty serious.
Find some new friends that aren't gonna run away from you when you need them.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Thanks again for all great replies, really appreciated - keep them coming :biggrin:

I'm just going to play the 'waiting game' until she contacts me again, hoping will be soon though, as I have said we will probably cross paths or at least see each other at school when go back later this coming week.

I think (and hope) she realises I need her right now but don't think she can handle talking to me at all because she still thinks I'm obsessed with her right now and this scared her big time so will leave her to think not expecting anything to happen for a week or longer yet.

Still no reply to my email - not that I expected one and she has been online since - sister has told me :p:

(has her MSN too lol).

She said she had forgiven me and just said she doesnt want to talk to me any more and wants me to leave her alone so don't really know how to interpret that other than leave her and cease contact, which I have for a while and give her space to think etc.

Reply 10

Zafda

i don't think you shouldput yourself down over it.
maybe you were being too clingy, she has offered you her support but obviously hasn't given it to you, but i don't think you should be that bummed about it.
some people are odd like that, i think it'd be harsh if she was backing off of you because of your heart condition, mind you ye guys are 15..
if she is it may be because shes confused and doesn't know what to expect?
just back off a bit - you've told her how you feel, and i know this will sound a bit harsh perhaps but learn not to expect support from those who ignore you. i know what it feels like when people have offered support and then somehow want you to forget about them forever, its hard but i bet you have heaps of friends and heaps of support.

tsi peeps will always support you =]

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Hmmm...

I think that is a factor of it probably, she just got completely freaked out and scared of me though because I got a bit clingy and to her 'obsessive'.

Contemplating talking to her some time on first day back at school later this week just to let her know current situation with me regarding health - my operation sorted the condition so no need for her to be scared of that any longer if she was.

Any opinions on above action or just let her see me (she will) at school and wait for her to contact me?