Unexpressive

While testing for most beneficial study methods and personality tests. I came across this one question from the Keirsey Temperament Sorter.

Which is more of a compliment:
"There is a very logical person."
"There is a very sentimental person."

Now in the past I would probably have said a logical person but these days I feel that over the past years, I've somehow managed to lose that very expressive side of me causing me to be kind of static and emotionless, cousins would sometimes call me a plank or a block of wood.

Rather than get irritated or angered by the fact that they had refered me as that, I'm usually quite calm about the whole thing. I know they don't mean it as an insult so theres nothing to worry about there. To be honest I find it kind of amusing as well as there is the element of truth within it, but occasionally it has a backfired negative effect of making me feel even worse that I'm stotic or too calm for my own good, most of the time when I'm feeling down or when something is being affected.

Being calm and collected has helped me on several occasions, I rarely let some emotions such as anger get the better of me. But I lose out on many other things it seems...

Due to my nature of not being phased by comments, and a laid back attitude resulting in "Oh I'm not too bothered, I'm happy with either choices"
This has caused me to semi lose direction in life it seems as I'm not sure what my great passions or intrests are.
The comment boys don't cry, I don't think I believed it however prehaps deep down I did? I'm not sure... anyhow now I want to be expressional but it doesn't seem to happen.

Whenever my friends and family leave to go holiday, or myself leave to go for like a month. My friends was upset that I'll be gone for so long, whereas for me I didn't feel that phased by the whole event. Obviously its not 100% no feelings, i would have liked to stay back rather with them rather than go on holiday. However I knew that after the holiday is over I'll be back with them so there is no real reason to be so upset for a small seperation in the grandscheme of things (A whole life).
The same applies for my parents, I'm not overly worried when they're abroad when someone had mentioned to me, do you miss your parents.
Yes it probably looks like I'm taking them for granted as they maybe gone the next day (Touch wood), however I'd rather not think that they'll disappear from my life permenantly.

Another problem with the lack of expressing I've managed to come across is with relationships...
I do like my friend very much, however I also believe that I'm unexpressional, unromantic person as in my strenghts don't really lie in that sense.
Somehow I find it really difficult to do some of the cute things that what a normal couple would expect occasionally... such as call each other petnames and give imaginary huggles when on the phone and so fourth.
It seems to be taking its toll on my friend... as sometimes she asks whether I still like her or not. Honest is I do but like i had mentioned i'm useless at acting all cute and caring, sometimes what I say I don't even realise.

At the end of all this, I'm wondering whether I'm the only one that has this sort of problem at being expressional. Whether its actually normal, probably not. And is there some sort of method of unlocking the expressive side of myself.

Reply 1

generalebriety

Crap post from me, but you're not the only one. And I hope it's normal, for my sake. But I've managed. :smile:

And things like this do get easier. Have you ever thought you might have an autistic spectrum disorder, like Asperger's Syndrome? I was once (informally) diagnosed with it, and it seems to have explained a lot about my life, and I don't know if this is anything to do with it. Look it up. :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Cheers, its good to know that I'm not completely alone feeling like this. I'm still a little undecided whether this would be considered as healty behaviour though. I'm pretty sure I could dismiss the problem and accept that its part of my personality but just wanted to be sure first.

I don't think I have ADS, unless denial happens to be part of the symptons as well. Well I haven't really checked it out completely but I gave a brief look. It had mentioned difficult getting on with others which I don't have that much a great problem, its just this expressing business which is getting me down.

Reply 3

Chumbaniya

I find myself less emotional on issues like the ones you describe, but I wouldn't call it unexpressive since what emotions I do have I can express fine. I think, while it does occasionally leave you feeling left out when other people seem to be more emotional about little things, it can be of benefit if it means you are more able to remain calm in overly emotional situations.

Incidentally, I might do a little research on autistic spectrum disorders since I've never really looked into it but I display similar emotional traits to those described.

EDIT: A quick search for symptoms reveal that I have (or had when I was younger) a few of the symptoms but am completely unaffected by others. Interesting...

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