Just enrolled on a course but having second thoughtsWatch
I left college last year after completing my a levels but didn't go uni since I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I decided to get a job or apprenticeship but after countless interviews the only thing I have to show from this year is 6 weeks of work experience in a primary school.
My main areas of personal interest have always been graphics, animation and martial arts. (Quite a contrast I know) but graphics is difficult to get into so I've been focusing on finding work within the sport sector since I hate the idea of sitting at a desk all day.
I applied for a course at LJMU in march (Education studies and physical education) but was rejected after that I applied for a BA hons sport coaching course (HND & 1 year top up) at the local 6th form college which I went to enroll on today.
I've been excited about the course for months but when I was at enrollment it just didn't feel right. The course is 2 and a half days a week which sounded great but one of the days it falls on will prevent me from doing assistant teaching at my Taekwondo club which kind of annoyed me, and then I found out the free bus passes they were promoting were only for 16-18 year olds. I didn't even get to speak to any of the sport staff.
I feel like every time I get close to something I want to do, I suddenly start to change my mind and go speeding off in another direction. I don't want to start this course and then drop out though since I've heard you only get funded for 4 years of higher education by student finance and I don't want to waste a year or mess it up.
I'm tired of feeling like a loser. I really don't know why this enrollment upset me so much, I know I'm shy and I think I have low self esteem which makes me anxious to get everything right. It's kind of like I need to know in advance what to bring, where to go, what I'm supposed to do.
Any thoughts or advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated.