gagandeep07
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Hey, can some PLEASE mark my work which is below. This is a question from a AQA GCSE English language exam paper.

The original question was to 'write a short article for the paper which describes your experience of the outdoors and explains the benefits the outdoors can have for you'. (16 marks) Thanks:

Healthy Habits- Being Outdoors

As current surveys show 75% of people fail to realise the importance of being outdoors, researchers believe that this is going to have a serious impact on our health. Many people argue that they don’t have time to explore the breath-taking experiences our world has to offer; however is that the real reason why most of us are trapped inside?

Look around you? What do you see? Do you, like me, see a world which has many opportunities to offer?

I love the outdoors! The greenery of the grass, the vibrant colours of the flowers as well as the wonderful wildlife. I believe that it is essential to experience the outdoors and you should agree too. To begin with, it is proven that going outdoors on a regular basis has a substantial effect on your health. Going outdoors makes you live longer! Therefore, why don’t you join me?

I know you may say that you ‘do not have enough time’ to explore what the outside world has to offer. I struggle to get time myself! We are all busy at work, managing 40 hours a week to feed our beloved families and coming
home to monitor the kids. I know how you feel.

In contrary, that is not the only reason why you say that you ‘don’t have enough time’. Do you know why that is? Technology. Most of you will be sitting on your soft sofa playing video games and shooting zombies.
Why go outdoors when you can take the role of a brainless body and shoot zombies? You never know, you might see a zombie on the street. So what do you do? Obviously, you try to shoot it but you miss by a mile. Time well spent people! Time well spent! We don’t need to go outdoors when we can experience the outdoors right at our fingertips on a virtual screen. Am I right? NO!

Finally, what many fail to realise is that we only have one life to live. Take advantage. Go outside now! Please…
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