The Student Room Group

I don't want to be his 'missus'

I've had a new job for a few weeks now, there's another guy who works there who I thought was sweet and have got to like... although we're both shy and haven't really even actually talked that much. His sister and cousin who both also work there (who I've also made friends with) asked me if I liked him, I said yes, and found out he liked me too. Anyway a couple of nights ago they were walking me home after work, and me and him were walking ahead and ended up kissing and doing a little touching after going back to his cousin's house in the end. Next day we didn't talk much seeing as we were both busy but he came back in later on and ended up getting pissed (I work in a pub - I was still working at this time) and these other guys he knew kept going on about me being his 'missus' and I noticed him talking to some other guy who used to work there who kept looking over to me like he was being told I was this guy's girlfriend, also later in the night he was all over me in front of everyone, now I'm getting kind of worried because I do like him but I certainly don't want to be anyone's 'missus' or girlfriend right now if ever.

I know he's shy and I'm not sure if he does see it as such a big serious thing, but I don't know if I should try and tell him I don't actually want to be with him properly, not now at least, and if so, how I should phrase it. I'm also quite worried his sister and cousin would fall out with me if I did, they're nice and decent people but I dunno. I'm just kind of regretting the kissing and things because I didn't think that would automatically mean we're together straight away.

Can anyone give me any good advice? Tell me what you think I should do? Or maybe I'm just making a bigger deal out of it than it actually is..
I think you just need to take a step back and slow down, perhaps go for a drink with him and discuss what you both want, whether it's just friendship or more, but seriously don't do anything you are not comfortable with,.
Reply 2
Well, you should talk to him, so that you can make clear to him what do you want from him.

Hope ve helped
Giwtis
Well since you work in a pub I wouldn't advise going for a drink. Go somewhere that isn't related to work, and discuss what you both want with him there.
Reply 4
it seems like you are quite interested in him, but dont like him showing off about you, naturally, so maybe have a gentle word with him.

at least you didnt hae people refering to you as x's bird because they couldnt remember your name lol. i would threaten them with physical harm if they ever call you that again. it worked for me, now they allways remember my name :smile:

jokes aside im guessing its more the commitment thing behind the labeling thats scaring you. they probably dont mean much by it when they call you his missus but make sure that you take things at your own pace. im sure he wont push you but i would talk to his sister and ask her how serious he is about you. a girly chat can often sort things out.
Reply 6
Yeah, it's not an issue of doing something I don't want to in any sexual way or anything like that, I only do what I really want to, I'm just slightly worried I could end up getting accused of leading someone on...?

Do you think most guys assume that a girl is their girlfriend after finding out she likes them and kissing/touching once?

It's just that this job is helping me get out more and building my confidence after being really quite depressed for quite a few months, and I enjoy being a free agent and being able to flirt with people to be honest. I don't like the idea of being tied down and committed to something and someone, even though I enjoy spending time with him and the others from there.

guys generally dont assume that but not knowing him i couldnt comment. all you can do is enjoy your job and take things as they come
Reply 8
some might, especially after the "touching" but some wont...looks like he has.