The Student Room Group

Is this a start of ...

I dont know where to start, Im feeling depressed and lost. I just want you all to read my post and advice me on this issue.

A little background about me and my boyfriend. Im a university student studying medicine and my boyfriend works in a very reputated company. Im bi, used to be with a girl but now im with a guy who is 7 years older to me. We are more friends then anything else. Weve been together for a year now and things are going great between us. We meet once or twice a week and keep in touch by phone. Hes a workaholic and loves his job.
Hes a decent bloke with a great personality. Everything about him is great and our relationship is very well balanced. He doesnt speak about other guys at all but when he does, it means he really is serious. So couple of hours back he did. He was telling me bout a trainee is his office and how well they clicked together and talked for ages. Ive never heard this kind of a thing from him. (we were sitting on the beach)
Hes a family guy so all we talk about are other general things. I dont know if im making sense but hes one person I think about all the time. Our relationship is not driven by sex at all. Its our personalities, he likes mine and i like his personality. He went on and on about that trainee and when i asked questions he got a little bit rough with me. Then he immediately changed a topic and started to talk bout a certain sms i sent him which was a little harsh on him. He talked about it as if I was the worst person in the world. It was just an sms. We both are different nationalities. So there is a little bit of cultural difference. Its hard for me to bear all this because its the first time he has spoken about a guy. And its the first time he has been harsh with me.. and not harsh very harsh :frown:
Was it a hint for me? is this a start of our downfall?

I like him a lot, he motivates me when im stressed out. Hes like an ideal person for me to look to.
Most people dont really understand how being a "bi" or "gay" affects ur personality and characteristics. These people need warmth and love more than other people and these people feel insecured and confused. I get a lot of warmth from him. He guides me along the routes of my life. I dont know what i just typed, im a little depressed about this new guy entering his life. Im scared that il lose him.
Reply 1
If he wanted something to happen with his trainee, i dont think he would have been comfortable talking to you about it.
Sometimes you can create problems yourself, and if you keep pressing at it, you might ruin the relationship that otherwise would have been fine.
Of course there is a possibility that him and his trainee do hit it off, people can connect with more than one person but it doesnt mean he will leave you, nor is he intending to (mainly because of the first reason i made in the first sentence), but it happens and theres no point worrying about it because it can happen to anyone including you and you cant stop it, infact trying to stop it happening will probbly do more damage.

my thoughts. i dont think that atm you have anything to worry about, and ought to forget about it and not cringe when he talks about him....you may push him away, and who do you think he'll go to? Its a jealousy issue that i think you need to try and get over - easier said than done, but essential.
You didn't metion whether he was bi or not.
Reply 3
Hi, iv been in a similar situation to you, but i was in your boyfreinds place. I met a guy whilst on a work placement when i was at college and we clicked straight away.

When talking to my boyfriend i mentioned this guy and he also got the impression that i wanted more to happen with him than "just friends". But he asked me straight out and i assured him that we just clicked as friends and that i didnt, and would never want anything to happend with this bloke, and things were sorted.

Maybe you should voice your concerns to your boyfreind, at least then you would both know where you stand and could move on :smile:

Maybe he doesnt realise that what he is saying to you is upsetting you this much.

The fact that your this worried will only show him how much you care about him.
Reply 4
You didn't say so but I am guessing you are both guys? I think its good that he wanted to talk to you about the trainee, he obviously respects you a lot. I am not sure why he would get moody like that with you, maybe he just thought you were making a big deal out of things and he got annoyed, and then tried to make you feel bad? As you don't see him a lot I can definitely see why you worry, I worry all the time when I haven't seen my boyfriend for a while. I don't think you should read into this too much now, I am basing this on the fact that he actually talked to you about this other person, to be honest that surprises me, I have never found a guy as nice as that! If it does turn out that this is the end of your relationship I know it will hurt like hell after so long, but you just have to take what happy memories you have with you and stay friends as you say your relationship is based so much on personality. But I don't think you should be thinking this is the end, he did talk to you about it, so just enjoy what you have and try not to let it worry you. Honestly, I say a lot before I get to the point dont I!Sorry..
Woah hold on there, i ain't reading all that ish. Summarise and i'll help.
Reply 6
Thanks everyone. I feel much better now ..