The Student Room Group

How to get over a guy...?

So, i've known this guy for about 6 years and ive liked him for about 4 and a half years. The main problem is, he's one of my best friends. He doesnt know and i hadnt told anyone about this until recently (a few months ago) when i told some of my closest friends. I know that nothing is ever going to happen between us and i accepted that about a year ago but how can i let go of these feelings?? He's moving away to university in 2 weeks whilst i have my gap year which im hoping will help, but at the same time it's going to be really heartbraking. Im scared that these feelings wont go away as its now been so long and ive even had boyfriends in these past 4 and a half years but the feelings i have for him always return. What do i do? i dont want to lose him as a friend so i dont want to completely block him out when he goes to uni. i never wanted him to find out but part of me wonders whether i should tell him before he goes or just leave it? Im worried that if i tell him he will become uncomfortable with me. But at the same time could telling him be the first step to actually getting over him? Help?!:confused:
If you don't tell him, you might end up regretting it for a long long time until you meet someone who can replace him.

If you tell him and he doesn't reciprocate, things will be awkward at first between you two. But from personal experience, I can tell it need not remain so forever, if both of you care for your friendship. With him being in univ, it might be easier for you to return to normality the next time you see him. But there's the risk. You risk ruining your friendship for moving ahead in your relationship.

If you tell him and he reciprocates, there's the issue of him being in univ. You'll be separated and that can cause a lot of frustration and you might end up breaking up even before you get to properly enjoy your new relationship. But a lot of long distance relationships survive as well.

Personally, I'd say you should give some hints and see his response. If its in the negative, you could save yourself some trouble and salvage your friendhsip. If it's in the positive, you could go for it.
Reply 2
i dunno if its like this with you, but with me when i get separated from someone i really like/care about, initially it takes a lot of 'heartache' to get over but as the year will carry on you'll meet lots of other people and be pretty busy, so hopefully that should just help you get over him quickly.
mind you 4.5 years is aaaaaages.
Reply 3
There's a good chance as well that the feelings are partly caused by you being such good friends
He clearly likes you as well, otherwise why would he be your friend? It's also likely that he's attracted to you as well, since it's pretty difficult to be such a great friend with someone of the opposite sex without being attracted to them.
He may not have fancied you at first, but obviously likes your personality. I say tell him you like him!
Reply 5
Thanks for all ur help... a few mixed opinions... hmmmm
Reply 6
Mel2077
Thanks for all ur help... a few mixed opinions... hmmmm


Meet up with him, just you two, and do some enjoyable activity like ice skating or watching a film. Then when the situation is right, tell him how you feel. You'll never know if you don't do it, cos once he goes to university; you'll be thinking...'what if'.

I say: tell him. :smile:

But if the situation turns out unexpected (this is just in case) and he doesn't feel the same way; at least what is done is done and YOU know now.

But you'll never know once you try!

Hope that helps.

:suith: Sezkin:suith:
Reply 7
I agree, for goodness sake just find out once and for all, it's better than never really knowing.