Afraid of being alone in public...

For some reason I absolutely hate walking by myself in public. I get paranoid that everyone is staring at me, and I just feel really anxious and self conscious. When I'm with a friend or in a group, I'm absolutely fine, but by myself, I don't know where to look or what to do with my hands etc. I feel so stupid.
Does anyone else have this problem and how can I overcome it?

Reply 1

Harv616

9

Yeah im the same, normaly i just listen to music, helps me

Reply 2

NickNack

1

used to hate being anywhere on my own, but ive since mastered the attitude that as far as complete strangers go, i really dont care what they think. but yeh, listening to music works just as well

Reply 3

Daveinnorfolk

i do to... especially looking at people so i often look down and have music on

Reply 4

kabi

its not something to be ashamed of, you just need to beleive that people arent looking imagine this they are all in their own lifes and have their own things to do and prob have better things to be doing, when your own stand up straight chest high and be like they arnt looking repeat it over and over again in your head and heck after a while it'll be second nature

good luck and rmemeber people are more likely to look at someone if they are looking down a bit sad, if you look up and just walk on by then they are more likely to do just that

Reply 5

Anthonyjm71

9

kabi

its not something to be ashamed of, you just need to beleive that people arent looking imagine this they are all in their own lifes and have their own things to do and prob have better things to be doing, when your own stand up straight chest high and be like they arnt looking repeat it over and over again in your head and heck after a while it'll be second nature

good luck and rmemeber people are more likely to look at someone if they are looking down a bit sad, if you look up and just walk on by then they are more likely to do just that

I agree you're right. :redface:

Reply 6

graveyarddreams

13

If you walk around a lot by yourself, you will soon get use to it. I often go out on my own, and even so, sometimes i can feel a little uncomfortable (mainly beacause people around my area can be very verbally abusive) so i understand. But it will soon feel natural once you do it often :smile:

.

Reply 7

History_is...

6

Occaisionally i get like that, although i walk on my own quite a lot. I tend to open my bag and take something out, just a tissue or my phone or something, so i am doing something with my hands.

Reply 8

Bluelight

13

I get this ocassionally its wierd because its not like im never walking out alone. I never know where to look or what to do with my hands, I usually fiddle with my mobile like crazy it helps.

Reply 9

Eddy123

People will only think it's weird if you think it's weird. If you don't care at all, neither will anyone else.

I regularly go out to the mall/clubs/bars on my own to meet women. If it ever comes up i just confidently say i'm out alone tonight and move the convo on. No one cares.

Reply 10

Laika

1

Smoke. It genuinely does help.

Reply 11

firefly

2

kabi

when your own stand up straight chest high and be like they arnt looking

Considering the fact that i am a woman, i doubt standing with my chest high would do much to help the situation, you'd have more people looking at you and therefore feel more uncomfortable :p:

Reply 12

NViasko

Borderline agoraphobia?

Reply 13

Mr.God

7

That's pretty weird.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Yeah I'm the same. It terrifies me walking down the corridor in school if there's a bunch of people I have to walk past, or going past the grass bit where all the younger kids hang out, because I'm sure they'll stare and laugh at me or something. I had to go shopping on my own the other week and it was awful, I felt so self-conscious walking through town. You feel sort of unprotected if you don't have someone with you, like there's no buffer between you and everyone else! That sounds so weird I know, but it's kinda true...Possibly it's the same sorta thing whereby you don't want to sit and have lunch on your own in the canteen, because people will look at you and think you're a sad loner.

I'm not sure what advice to give really...the idea about listening to music could be good, 'coz if you've got some wicked tunes in your ear on your I-Pod, you're not gonna be concentrating on the people around you so much (then again don't do that if you're walking at night or in an area you don't know, when crossing roads etc!). Or just focus on looking at a building or something when you're walking, not a person.

And I get you about not knowing what to do with your hands! I just shove them in my pocket, or it helps if I've got something to carry like files or books, so I can hold them to my chest - plus if you're walking past a group of people you can act like you have to check something in the file or whatever you're carrying so you have an excuse to keep your eyes down!

Reply 15

College Guy 1987

2

Whats the worst that could happen if someone sees you on your own in a shop?
Next time you go out to the shops or something, look around - you'll notice that loads of people do stuff on their own, and nobody cares or thinks twice about it!

Reply 16

Zafda

8

i used to hate it, now i'm not fussed.
you have to do it a few times, not give a feck what everyone else is saying/doing or are they looking at you, coz often they're not.
when you're somewhere and people walk at you, you don't stare at everyone that goes past do you? you don't talk about the way they walk, or whats weird about them?

its likely they don't talk or stare at you either.

Reply 17

LoveMusic

1

I feel very awkward when i walk alone, i just sort of look at the floor.

Incredibly uncomfortable. I think its just because i have low self-esteem

Reply 18

st8_of_mind

If you think about it rationally, you'll notice that you (as in you yourself) don't really take notice of others who walk down the road alone. It's only eyecatching if you are wearing something extravagant or physically different to others (eg. disability or extremely goodlooking :wink:

)

I used to have and still have this problem a bit, but like the above posters, I realised that no one besides me cares and frankly, I dont remember a single person I meet on the street either (alone or not)

Reply 19

Scrub

I used to hate it but for some reason I actually like going out by myself shopping etc now. I do usually listen to music though so whether that makes any difference Im not sure! Im still not keen on walked past groupds of chavs but I don't think many people are lol!

Afraid of being alone in public...

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